Not everyone has the patience or demeanor to deal with children, which is all fair enough.
But what happens when a friend or family member who doesn’t like your kids takes things way, way too far?
That’s what happened to a man on Reddit when his kid-averse future brother-in-law locked his children in their bedrooms at a family gathering.
So, the Original Poster (OP) who goes by the name ThrowAway3091345 on the site, went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective on how he handled it.
OP asked:
“AITA For kicking my future BIL out of my wedding for what he did to my kids?”
He explained:
“My sister met her fiance (Tim) 2 years ago. We only meet at my parents house as I live in the next town with my now wife and my 2 step-kids (4-6).”
“Tim doesn’t like kids—he’s made it clear how much he’s uncomfortable being around them. Every time I brought my kids to my parents house, Tim’d start acting out.”
“He tried to indirectly ban the kids from visiting their grandparents house. Dad was firm but Tim never stopped trying to exclude my kids from family events.”
“Wife & I wanted to have our wedding at our house, a small celebration. Tim asked if there were gonna be kids at the wedding.”
“My kids were the only ones at the wedding since we didn’t have many guests.”
“He tried to talk us out-of involving my kids in the wedding and make it an adult event but I told him to keep his thoughts to himself. My kids were excited to be part of the wedding.”
“Tim and my sister arrived late. The kids were with us the entire time.”
“Tim looked visibly upset until he suddenly offered to take the kids to bathroom so they wash up before eating.”
“Minutes later he came back. I asked were the kids were.”
“He said he took them to their bedroom cause they wanted to play with their toys. I thought it was out of character for them.”
“I wondered why they suddenly didn’t want to eat since they said they were hungry. I wanted to check on them but got busy with my aunt’s ankle-injury.”
“My younger sister came telling us the kids’ bedroom door was locked and the kids were inside. My wife and I were in shock.”
“We looked for the key. I asked my sister if she was the one who locked them in.”
“But Tim said he did it.”
“Saying he was worried they’d wander around unsupervised and wanted to make sure they were safe since everyone was busy.”
“I took the key and got the kids out . My daughter told me Tim said I didn’t want them to go outside and that I’d punish them if they did.”
“They’re my kids now of course I want them to be in my wedding.”
“My wife was speechless. I lost my sh*t on Tim.”
“I called him a cruel, selfish for lying and doing this to my kids trying to exclude them and told him to get out. My sister defended him and was crying calling me offensive names.”
“I kicked her out too.”
“My parents argued saying what I did was unnecessary since Tim was just trying to help. They tried to get my wife to get involved before my sister decide to cut me out completely for what I did.”
“I argued that they were unreasonable to think I was being bitter and explained why I kicked him out but they still blamed me for my extreme reaction since Tim had good intentions.”
“My wife was quiet all the time probably wondering what the hell type of family she just married into. I don’t blame her.”
“My parents insist I talk to my sister and Tim and everyone apologizes since this seemed to be a major misunderstanding. I refused but they kept repeating the same thing.”
“My parents say this must be a misunderstanding since Tim doesn’t know how to deal with kids. However they went quiet after they heard what my daughter said.”
“My sister claimed that it’s his way of getting kids to behave.”
“My wife recieved an e-mail from Tim apologizing since he couldn’t reach out to me because I blocked him.”
“My wife’s being pressured by my parents now asking us to be a little more graceful since Tim apologized but my sister hasn’t”
“That’s why my parents want us to talk to her.”
“I’m deciding to go no contact for the time being because of this and also-more importantly to focus on my wife and kids.”
OP’s fellow Redditors were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation using the following acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Perhaps unsurprisingly, virtually none of them was on Team Brother-in-Law.
“Hold on, this guy came to YOUR house, got YOUR kids and locked them in their room? Do we even need to say it op?”
“NTA. Ban this man from your house, ban you sister if necessary and to whoever tells you you are overreacting tell them that you are being calm enough.”
“This is beyond cruel, that was dangerous and that man is dangerous to have around. Ask your sister if this is the kind of man she wants to have around when married, god forbid she ever gets pregnant by accident.” —Joxem13
“I’m just realizing. What would have happened if suddenly a fire started and op children were trapped in their room because of this? Wow the more you think about it the more I want to punch that guy op is 100% nta” —apgamerwolf
NTA all the way. What really bothers me is how OP’s family is justifying this by saying Tim was trying to help. In what effing way was locking two kids up in their bedroom helpful.”
“No o e asked him to, it was done purely out of his own malicious prejudice. OP, I would seriously cut contact with your family who voice any support for what he did. In your sister’s case, just go no contact.” —emherrera1960
We all have varying levels of patience for kids, but if you really hate them this much, maybe just stay home.