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Biracial Woman Stirs Drama By Calling Out White Aunt’s Past Racism In Front Of Her Black Fiancé

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Sometimes you just have to call someone out and expose some truth.

Though it wall cause all sorts of chaos.

It’s a conundrum.

Do you stay silent or speak?

How did it work for others?

Case in point…

Redditor wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for calling out my aunt for racist comments and ending her engagement?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I (22 F[emale]) am a biracial child who grew up in the Haiti.”

“I never knew most of my white side of my family due to my father dying when I was young.”

“When I turned 10 me and my mother moved to the USA where my father’s family lived.”

“My mother tried to reach out to them but it was clear they were not happy that he had been with a black women.”

After some persuasion and finding out that my father had a child his family finally chose to interact with me and my mother.”

“I spent the rest of my school years near them.”

“This is where my aunt (26) comes in.”

“My aunt always made very micro aggressive comments to me as we were growing up.”

“Things like ‘you should stay out of the sun you don’t want to become darker that’s ugly.'”

“‘Braids make you look ghetto.'”

”She use to use the excuse that it was just the way Americans talk and I shouldn’t be mad.”

“By highcschool I had enough when her micro-aggressions become plain racism”

“. I cut ties with that side of my family and moved on with my life.”

“Currently I’m an event planner and randomly my aunt messaged me talking about her upcoming wedding.”

“She then invited me to dinner to catch up.”

“At first I wasn’t planning on going but my mother encouraged me to go and just hear her out. So I went.”

“When I saw her fiancé I was shocked.”

“Her husband is a light skin black man.”

“He is clearly pale but it is quite obvious he is black.”

“We sat down and and half way through the dinner her fiancé commented on how lovely he thought my curly hair was.”

“I went to thank him when I saw my aunt visibly roll her eyes.”

“I was so confused on how she could be dating a black man after everything she said.”

“To sum up the dinner; they had asked about me possibly being their wedding planner.”

“I told them I would have to see.”

“After dinner had finished my aunt got up to put the dishes away when I decided to ask the fiancé something.”

“I asked how he felt about the comments my aunt made about black people.”

“He looked confused and asked what I meant.”

“I told him how she use to make racist and aggressive comments about black people when we were younger.”

“And I questioned if she had possibly changed her ways.”

“He looked completely shocked but before anything eles could be said my aunt came back and I left.”

“Jump to 2 nights ago and I get an angry phone call from my aunt claiming I ruined her engagement.”

“Apparently her husband-to-be had no idea and confronted her after I left.”

“She tried to defend herself but he didn’t care and called off the wedding.”

“I tried explaining to her that I had no intention of ruining their engagement.”

“I just didn’t like the idea of her possibly having a child with that man and spreading the same comments to her child which could possibly make them hate their skin and culture.”

“I got a bunch more texts from many people on my dad’s side calling my an a**hole for getting involved.”

“They all tried to claim that she was young and stupid she was 17.”

“I feel bad and now I wish I would of minded my business?”


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. Your aunt’s ex dodged a bullet.”

“She is clearly still racist.”  ~ bluedogstar

“If it was really about ‘young and dumb’ she wouldn’t roll her eye on OP.”

“She would use this occasion to apolologize for her stupid behaviour of the past and ask for forgiveness.”

“But she is the same.”

“And I bet she just wanted OP as a wedding planner to show her ex how great she understands herself with the colored part of the family.”

“‘I can’t be racist, I have a friend that is a person of color.'”

“That the ex believed everything OP said let me think that there were often things in here behavior that came off as strange like rolling eyes.”

“But she always found excuses.”

“With the new information it all made sense for him.”

“You saved him and the future children.”

“Just think they turn out really dark.”

“How would she treat them behind his back?”

“And if he had an accident and she ends up alone with them?”

“I don’t want to think about… NTA.”  ~ EvilFinch

“Or if one of their children should be born with darker skin tones?”

“I went to high school with a set of twin girls who had the most beautiful milk chocolate skin tones.”

“L & L were gorgeous and still are.”

“Their Mom is white and Dad is African American.”

“They have five siblings and two were the same tone as them.”

“Two were much darker than them and their Dad, the youngest was born with blue eyes, pale Ivory skin complete with freckles and red hair!”

“L& L always joked that there parents were trying for all the shades of brown.”

“OP is def NTA.”  ~ moodyfish7777

“Exactly. People can change and past actions don’t always dictate present behavior.”

“The issue is that present aunt rolled her eyes. Can’t blame that on past self!”

“OP may have been digging a little by asking fiancé about aunt’s behavior but given previous interactions, I wouldn’t trust aunt not to lie either. NTA.”  ~ Future-Way-8044

“There’s also no way fiancé ended the engagement based solely on OP’s comments.”

“It’s way more likely that whatever aunt said when he confronted her confirmed OP’s story and revealed aunt’s continuing prejudices.”

“She probably minimized it or did something else that showed she’s not that self aware. NTA.”  ~ alienabductionfan

“In my opinion NTA.”

“You were totally marginalized by her growing up.”

“And if she indeed rolled her eyes at the comment about your hair (and I totally believe she did) then she still has those same prejudices she had when you were younger.”  ~ kr0mb0pulos_michael

“NTA. You didn’t slander anyone if what you said was true and you didn’t ask to get involved.”

“She involved you when she invited you over hoping to get your planning expertise.”

“What’s worse is she is apparently continuing with the micro-ag based on that eyeroll when her fiancé complimented your hair.”

“I’m betting if she hadn’t rolled her eyes, you might have thought, ‘I never expected aunt would be engaged to a man of color!'”

“‘Wow. She must’ve had one helluva learning experience. I wonder what that was?’ and moved on.”

“I also suspect that her fiancé didn’t dump her for what she said in the past but how she responded to his inquiry.”

“You can tell the difference between the person who is genuinely sorry they were ever such an asshat and the person who is just sorry they were found out.”

“Believe me, LGBT people of my generation have somehow managed to forgive all the kids who ignorantly used homophobic slurs as slang insults when we were children.”

“Provided the person grew up to actually regret it and is now an ally.”  ~ Necessary-Treacle702

OP came back to discuss…

“This sums up the situation basically to the tee.”

“When I first met her ex fiancé I was shocked but not in a bad way.”

“I just just hadn’t expected her to be with a person of color.”

“But as a child of an interracial relationship myself I was just glad she wasn’t like her previous self and grew as a person.”

“It was the eye roll that bite me the wrong way.”

“The compliment on his part was light hearted but her eye roll made me feel unwanted and judged.”

“Due to the fact that she always made comments on my hair and it being too nappy in the past.”

“This eye roll felt like another jab which just made me believe that deep down she still had some sort of micro aggressions she wasn’t displaying.”

“I’m just afraid that I looked too into this eye roll.”

Reddit still felt…

“NTA. She obviously hasn’t grown up because she was rolling her eyes.”

“Seems like she wanted to use you for your talent.”

“You saved her ex-fiancé and any future kids they may have had some heartache.”

“As someone with a mixed family, thank you.”  ~ obvsta7633

OP… Reddit is with you.

You have to do your truth first and always.

Sounds like your family needs some help.

Keep being you.