As much as we love our friends, it is still possible, even likely, for them to let us down from time to time.
Sometimes, we might overlook the bad behavior of a friend more than we might the bad behavior of others, in an effort to keep our relationship happy.
Sometimes, however, it is important to confront our friends when they did something that hurt or frustrated us.
Even if it might forever affect our relationship.
Some friends of Redditor kisobu_ recently came back to their home after less than dignified night out,
Unfortunately, one of those friends ended up damaging the original poster (OP)’s property, owing to their condition.
When the OP asked this friend to pay for these damages, their friends proved less than willing.
Wondering if they were asking too much, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for asking my friend’s boyfriend to pay $150 after he had an accident on my couch?”
The OP explained why they felt their friends needed to pay up:
“On Halloween, my boyfriend and I went out to a bar with friends, including my friend ‘Jake’ and his boyfriend ‘Dylan’.”
“We were all drunk and went back to my place at 1am to hang out since everyone’s cars were there from the pregame.”
“At some point Dylan fell asleep on the couch.”
“While we were talking, another friend suddenly told us Dylan was having an accident on himself.”
“But it was too late and it was soaked into my couch cushion.”
“Jake didn’t do anything, so another friend carried Dylan to the bathroom.”
“My boyfriend had already gone to bed.”
“When we came back, Dylan was gone.”
“Somehow, while we were grabbing towels, he had gotten into our bed- still in his accident soaked clothes- and laid down next to my sleeping boyfriend.”
“He got accident all over the bed.”
“We found him a few minutes later, woke my boyfriend up, and another friend moved Dylan back to the couch- except he laid on the other side this time and got accident there too, as well as on the blanket he used.”
“I told my boyfriend not to make a big scene because I figured Jake and Dylan would already be embarrassed.”
“We threw our bedding in the wash and ended up sleeping on the floor.”
“Jake and Dylan stayed the night and left around 8 am without cleaning anything, offering to help, or apologizing.”
“When we woke up around 10am the smell was horrible.”
“We texted and called them- no answer for hours.”
“I finally bought a carpet/upholstery cleaner for $150 and started cleaning the couch, mattress, and blankets.”
“I texted Jake ‘So I adore you and Dylan but our couch smells like accident so we have to clean it’.”
“‘It’s gonna be $150 I’m going to request Dylan pay for it’.”
“My boyfriend told Dylan he should cover the cost, and when they eventually answered (at 2pm) he said to request it from Jake on Venmo.”
“Eight hours later at 10:00pm that night Jake replied to my text from that morning, ‘Hey idk if it’s fair for Dylan to pay $150’.”
“‘If he gives you half would that be cool?'”
“‘We could have used our own carpet cleaner’.”
“They never offered to bring one earlier, and by then I was long done cleaning.”
“I calmly explained that the expense wasn’t optional.”
“We had to clean their mess and that $150 was cheaper than professional cleaning or replacing the cushions.”
“Jake responded, ‘Whatever dude. If that’s how y’all feel, take your money’, and then Venmoed me the full $150.”
“I didn’t reply.”
“Today he texted, ‘I’ll bring the sweats you let us borrow so we don’t have to pay you for those as well’.”
“‘I’ll leave them on your porch’.”
“We’ve been friends for almost ten years and I’m shocked by how petty and disrespectful he’s been about this.”
“AITA for asking for reimbursement?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for demanding that Dylan pay for her damaged couch.
Everyone was shocked that not only did neither Dylan or Jake even offer to help clean up the OP’s damaged sofa, but that they actually left without even acknowledging what they did, and paying for the cleaning was truly the very least they could do.
“Human urine smell is really really hard to eradicate.”
“You might need a new couch honestly.”
“Your friends are gross.”
“NTA.”- diabeticweird0
“NTA NTA NTA.”
“If Jake wants to ‘pissy’ about the repercussions, I’d go no contact.”
“Life is too short to have sh*tty friends.”- Intelligent_Car_4438
“Uhhhh definitely NTA.”
“Wtf they think would happen if they left without saying a word, cleaning anything up, or answering the phone.”
“That’s so rude.”
“Accidents happen, even to adults, I suppose.”
“But adults take responsibility for them even if they are embarrassed.”- magicmavenhart
“NTA.”
“A couple years ago my buddy peed himself and threw up on my brand new Ikea couch.”
“He offered to pay $900 and bought me a new one.”
“Dylan is getting off really easily as I would want a new couch and wouldn’t bother trying to clean it.”
“We’re adults, he should learn how to behave like one.”- SlapThis
“NTA.”
“Btw this is how you handle that situation.”
“I had a party, and a friend asked to take my car home at about 3am.”
“I had no recollection since I was completely faced.”
“I woke up to my car in the drive, a spare on it, and a blank check from him with a note.”
“I called and he said he made it about a half mile, and hit a rock.”
“Came back, put the spare on, and said to fix it, and pay with that check – whatever the cost – it was substantial, with an alignment, tire, and a new rim too.”
“But that’s how you handle it when you break/ruin something.”- dejomatic
“Was this a urine accident or something worse?”
“Either way, NTA, the guy should pay for professional cleaning of your stuff.”- Then-Chocolate-5191
“It took 10 years for them to show their true colors.”
“You got lucky.”
“At least they paid you.”
“NTA.”- frlejo
“NTA.”
“How long were you suppose to wait, until they got back to you?”
“The longer any bodily fluids sit / soak/ marinate, the worse it is to get out.”- WickedLovely90
“NTA.”
“Drop these losers.”
“The only issue I see on your end is carpet cleaners can be rented.”
“Purchasing a machine was not necessary.”- Long_Ad_2764
“So this ADULT urinated all over himself, and is willing to throw away a 10 year friendship after you asked him for the cost of the cleaning supplies to clean his ‘accident’ (In multiple places?).”
“Sounds like you’re better off.”
“NTA.”- RegularGuy257
“NTA and who pees on themselves passed out drunk like that?”
“He should have offered to clean up himself the next day.”- 1peatfor7
“They left at 8 am and said nothin,g but are contesting how you chose to clean the mess and also the cost?”
“NTA.”- seaclifftonne
“NTA.”
“I had a high school acquaintance who partied with us in our house but got too drunk.”
“We let him lie down on the bed, but it turns out he had vomited all over our pillows and blankets.”
“And he didn’t even tell us.”
“We had to find out the next day and clean up.”
“Asked him to pay, but he just ghosted us.”
“It’s reasonable to want an apology and payment from your friend.”- MzLa3rinity2001
“Hell, he (well, Jake) actually paid (and right away, too).”
“That’s a victory that doesn’t happen 90% of the time.”
“No you’re NTA.”
“Disrespect or whatever, if I’m cleaning someone’s urine up from all over my house.”
“I know it can and likely will happen again if I don’t remedy the situation.”
“I care more about getting down into another guy’s urine, than I do about his or my feelings.”
“So future contact with both would be limited.”- NervousDot9627
“NTA.”
“Accidents happen, especially when drinking.”
“You went out of your way to protect his dignity and not shame him.”
“But it is absolutely rude and unacceptable that they just left without cleaning anything.”
“I would be way more embarrassed by that than the original piss.”
“I would have cleaned the couch myself.”
“Honestly I would have probably paid to get it cleaned professionally.”
“Then I would make you guys food, or take you to dinner, anything to show how absolutely grateful I was that you were such kind friends.”
“This is unacceptable behavior, and unless they genuinely apologize, I would consider distancing myself.”
“That’s a sh*tty thing to do to anyone, but especially to a decades-old friend.”- herozerocapitalZ
It can at least be agreed that Dylan didn’t mean to damage the OP’s sofa and bed the way he did, that it was an “accident” in every sense of the word.
Even so, as they did damage the OP’s property in a frankly disgusting manner, they should have made some sort of effort to make up for it.
If paying for the cleaning of the sofa does have a negative impact on their friendship with the OP, the OP should seriously consider if this is a friendship worth fighting for.