We've all seen one of those "Transform This Room While My Partner is Away" TikTok videos or Instagram Reels by now, and with thoughtful planning and genuine effort, some of the results are outstanding.
But trying to improve a room with literal garbage? That sounds like a pass, cringed the already-queasy members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Boring_Chain_8502 had been struggling with street noise in her at-home office, where she frequently had to participate in Zoom calls, and she wanted to better soundproof the space.
When she returned home from helping her mother prepare for surgery, the Original Poster (OP) was both surprised that her boyfriend had soundproofed the space for her, and disgusted by his method.
She asked the sub:
"Am I overreacting for literally walking out after my boyfriend 'soundproofed' my home office with dirty trash?"
The OP was struggling with sound pollution in her home office.
"I (27 Female) have been complaining about the noise from the street lately because I work from home and do a lot of Zoom calls."
"My boyfriend (29 Male) is currently 'between jobs' and has been super into these life hack videos on Facebook and TikTok. He always says that I waste money on professional stuff when he could 'do it for free.'"
After helping her mother, the OP came home to an unfortunate surprise.
"I went to my parents' house for the weekend to help my mom with surgery prep, and I came back today to surprise him."
"I walked into my office, and the smell hit me first. It smelled like... old milk and stale cardboard?"
"I turned on the light, and I swear to god, I almost fainted."
"He has glued, literally SUPERGLUED, hundreds of egg cartons to my walls, floor to ceiling."
"But these were not, like... clean craft store ones. They were used ones. About 50 percent of them have dried yolk stains or weird crust on them."
The OP did not have the reaction the boyfriend wanted.
"He came running in, beaming, looking so proud, asking if I noticed how 'dead' the sound was."
"He told me he spent the last three days dumpster-diving behind the local bakery and asking neighbors for their trash to 'save us 500 dollars on acoustic panels.'"
"I started crying. I couldn't help it. I asked him how I was supposed to have clients see this background on video."
"He got quiet and said I was being ungrateful because he spent hours applying the glue."
The OP was shocked by the damage done to her office.
"I tried to peel one off, and it took a chunk of the drywall with it. So now the wall is ruined, too."
"He's currently locked in the bedroom, saying I 'emasculated him' by calling it trash and that I care more about aesthetics than his effort to help me."
"Am I crazy?? Like, am I overreacting for thinking this is actually insane behavior, or should I have just said thank you? I honestly don't even know how to fix this without burning the house down."
"AIO?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NOR: Not Overreacting
- YOR: You're Overreacting
Some urged the OP to see this DIY project for what it was: a relationship deal breaker.
"The universe has gifted you this situation and ensuing arguments to utilize as 'the last straw.'"
"Leave. His DIY acoustic tiles will be joined by things like aluminum foil over every window (light-blocking curtains), painting nail polish on the sink and tub enamel instead of replacing tub and sinks with new, not broken fixtures (you can hear the 'you can't even tell I did that!' from here)."
"There's careful penny pinching, saving up for larger purchases, and then there is whatever you call this (sucking the joy out of building a home and a life together)."
"NOR." - Admirable-Anything57
"NOR at all. If he wants to live in a dumpster, then leave him to it. It will attract vermin."
"I think you should move back to your mother's place and tell him you are not returning until the home office is restored and all the damage to the walls repaired." - Present-Level-1521
"NOR. Your boyfriend honestly either sounds stupid or on drugs."
"This is one of those moments where you realize why you have to break up with him. This is insane, and I'm sure anyone in your life will agree with you!"
"Your mom going into surgery might be stressful, but at this moment, it might be a blessing. If they have the space to welcome you, and you have the relationship to handle it, I'd use helping your mom as an excuse to quietly and safely exit. You can then creep back in to remove your stuff when you know that he'll be away, since he's not working regular hours right now."
"Based on his reaction to your reaction, he sounds like the type to cause a scene during a breakup, so just use your mom for now to make it seem temporary, when it is, in fact, permanent." - secretly_a_possum13
"NOR. He is the one who went inside DUMPSTERS to acquire the materials. Calling it trash is the exact word to use in this scenario."
"He thought he was gonna have a 'gotcha' moment and be all smug about saving you money, and he's currently having a toddler meltdown down because you didn't like his 'masterpiece.'"
"It's now going to cost you way more than $500 to fix this mess if you have to repair all of the drywall... or does he have a hack with that too, using homemade playdough made from half-eaten spaghetti or some nonsense too?!"
"Look, I had one of these types of boyfriends once. ONCE. I was painting my bedroom, and he watched me meticulously taping everything off that I didn't want paint on, but as soon as I turned the sprayer on, I got a phone call and turned it off to go take it."
"I came back in, and that man-baby had sprayed a half gallon of paint in a section no more than four-by-four feet, AND he had removed the tarp from the floor and had painted my carpet."
"I came in like, 'WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU DOING?!?' He 'saw' what he did was wrong, and then went outside, flailed his arms around a bit, and huffy-flopped to the ground to pout, while I was desperately trying to find a paint roller to fix the paint dripping down the wall before it dried."
"I ended up having to sand the whole wall and replace the flooring because of that id**t, who NEVER EVEN APOLOGIZED or came to help fix HIS mistake. He was in his 30's, claimed to understand handyman work, and instead acted like he was three."
"Don't date man-children. Get your stuff out of there before the rats and mice nest in it, and go be with your mom to see out her surgery. Whatever comes next for you will be much, much better, cleaner, more mindful, and higher quality, guaranteed." - KalikaSparks
"I work in audio, and egg cartons don't work, like, at all. Not for deadening, and especially not for soundproofing…does he know those are two different things that require different approaches? Your boyfriend is an id**t."
"And for your own information, the best way to filter outside noise is to plug any holes where sound may be coming in, weather-strip the doors and windows, and caulk any cracks."
"You can find cracks by turning off all of the lights inside your room and shining a bright light onto the outer surface of your walls (outside the room). Wherever the light leaks in, so will sound."
"Acoustic panels will not soundproof your room, at all. Acoustic panels are for keeping the sound of your own voice from bouncing off the walls and back at you, to prevent the echo of an empty room."
"He may have spent a lot of time and energy diving and searching, but he did exactly zero research and just showed you how much he's willing to do for you and your career, which is... not much." - VoiceArtPassion
Others could scarcely imagine how difficult and costly this would be to fix.
"Whose place is this? Is this an apartment or a home you own?"
"Because this is going to be an expensive fix. I don't trust him to fix the drywall damage he has caused."
"You need to tell him he needs to pay to have this professionally fixed if this is a home you own, if it's one you rent? Kiss your deposit goodbye."
"Unless you're not on the lease? At which point, move out and let him deal with this mess when the landlord sees the disaster he created."
"And for the love of god, dump him, and take him to small claims court if he refuses to pay for the repairs."
"Honestly, I hope this is rage bait. Because my skin is crawling right now."
"NOR but J**us f**king chr**t, he's denser than a brick wall." - BeautifulChaosEnergy
"Penny wise, pound foolish."
"I had an uncle like that, made mid-six figures, but he didn't have a reliable car and multiple houses falling apart. He wanted to save money, which turned into bigger bills in the end."
"OP's boyfriend saved $500 on soundproofing, but it'll likely be more time and money to fix what he did. He will be a drain financially and emotionally." - Quick-Incident-4351
"Forget the odor and the aesthetics, wouldn't that also be a fire hazard, having cardboard all over your walls? This just seems like a terrible idea for many reasons." - goofball68
"All I'm thinking of is those videos of cockroach farm employees shaking them out by the hundreds from stacks of cardboard that look EXACTLY like egg cartoons. There's food waste too! And it's ruined your walls! Absolutely NOR." - Satantic_Garlic28
"Ew. NOR. I hate filth and germs. If I saw that filthy, smelly trash on my home office walls, I would rip him a new one."
"The smell, the sloppy appearance, and all of the work it will be to fix it is totally unacceptable."
"If your boyfriend didn't want to 'feel emasculated,' then he should have done the job right with respectable-looking sound insulation materials, not that slop he dumpster dived for."
"How utterly disgusting." - JoshuaofHyrule
The subReddit was thoroughly disgusted and completely agreed with the OP's reaction to the mess and garbage can that had overtaken her home office.
This sounded like a far-cry from an attempt to help or surprise, and with her mother's surgery on the horizon, it sounded like the perfect time for the OP to distance herself, and her possessions, before her boyfriend could attempt anymore DIY projects.















Woman With Cerebral Palsy Livid After Husband's Doctor Questions Why He Married Her
In the search for comprehensive medical care, people may have tough conversations about their lifestyle, work, relationships, and other potential stressors.
But a doctor can only make so many decisions on behalf of their patient, cautioned the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor _lucky96 was seeing the same doctor as her husband, so their doctor was aware of both of their medical histories and needs, including her having cerebral palsy.
But when the doctor brought up her condition during her husband's latest appointment and questioned their marriage, the Original Poster (OP) was appalled and wanted to find a new medical care provider.
She asked the sub:
The OP had cerebral palsy and a full life.
"I have cerebral palsy. It mainly affects my walking, but I can walk independently and live a pretty normal life."
"My husband and I have been together for three years and have a blended family with five kids altogether. Three of my kids aren’t biologically his."
The OP and her husband just started seeing a new doctor.
"We’ve both recently started seeing the same general practitioner (GP)." I’ve seen him about three times now and generally thought he was helpful."
"I had noticed he seemed very interested in my disability and would often ask questions about it and whether I had support, but I assumed he was just being thorough."
In the OP's eyes, the doctor crossed a line.
"Today, my husband had an appointment with the same doctor for stomach issues."
"During the appointment, mental health apparently came up as part of the discussion, but the appointment itself wasn’t for mental health."
"I wasn’t in the room because I was outside with our daughter. According to my husband, the doctor asked him, 'Why did you marry your wife?'"
"My husband said because he loves me, and then the doctor apparently said something along the lines of, 'With her disability and five kids, that’s a lot to take on. You realise when she’s older, you’ll have a lot to do as she ages.'"
"My husband thinks I’m overreacting because they had been discussing different stressors in his life, and believes the doctor was just talking about responsibilities and support systems."
"I understand that possibility, but I can’t get past how hurtful it feels to hear my disability described as something my husband 'took on' or as a future burden he’ll have to manage."
"The doctor also said, 'Not many men would do what you do, you’re a good man.'"
The OP was upset about the conversation her husband shared.
"What bothers me most is that the conversation wasn’t even about me, and I wasn’t there to respond or provide any context."
"I feel like the comments reduced me to my disability rather than seeing me as a wife, parent, and person."
"Am I wrong for being upset by this and considering raising it with the clinic, or does this sound inappropriate?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that the doctor's comments were highly inappropriate.
"That’s highly inappropriate. You are NOR." - Direction_Physical
"NOR. You are not overreacting at all. That was completely inappropriate and dehumanizing."
"You’re his patient’s wife, not his patient, while your husband is in that room. Bringing up your disability and five kids during your husband’s stomach appointment had nothing to do with his care."
"Saying you’re 'a lot to take on' and 'not many men would do what you do' frames your marriage like a charity case, and you like a burden instead of a partner."
"That’s ableist, unprofessional, and a violation of basic boundaries."
"It makes sense that you feel reduced to just your disability after hearing that."
"Raising it with the clinic is absolutely reasonable. You deserve a doctor who treats you as a whole person, not a problem for your husband to manage." - DaringDuvet
"This makes me so stabby. I’m non-verbal and have right-sided weakness."
"We were married 29 years before it happened, and the number of people who think my husband needs a medal and a parade for sticking around..."
"Don’t get me wrong. My husband is one of life’s truly good dudes. But seriously?" - sorenelf
"This is infuriating. He's a good man because he didn't ditch?"
"When my mum was diagnosed with cancer that wasn’t going to do the polite thing and get fixed, the amount of applause for my dad not leaving her was astounding."
"He was horrified at first, but that wore off pretty quickly, and he just started calling it out. That made quite a few people squirm in their own discomfort."
"It says a lot about someone who thinks a natural choice is to bail." - BasicLingonberry9914
"NOR in the slightest."
"Even if we assume good intent and the doctor wanted to make sure there are safety nets and supports in place for both of you, that has NOTHING to do with the question of why your husband married you."
"I would absolutely file a complaint, and if you both can, find another general practitioner." - ooooohcakepudding
"NOR. I have severe Aphakia, and if my specialist looked at my husband to remind him he's going to be growing old with someone who is likely going to go blind, I think I would die."
"My husband had been through h**l and back with me and my eyes long before we got married, so he knows what he signed up for. And it isn't the doc's place to sort out. Super duper unprofessional." - Global-Nature2420
"So at first, I thought you were overreacting. I am a mental health provider, and a doctor discussing stressors and very real-life situations happens all the time."
"The minute you added the part that 'not many men,' things changed. He took what could have been a normal conversation and changed it to his personal feelings, which is absolutely disgusting."
"NOR at all. I would file a complaint." - Trash_Human92
Others pointed out that it was an important conversation to have, though the doctor could have been more delicate.
"While tough, this isn't an inappropriate conversation to have if the stress is causing his health to deteriorate."
"The truth is not inappropriate. I think the way he worded it was a bit much, but not what he said."
"It appears to me the OP is not dealing with how her disability is not just about her, but everyone, etc. For example, my cancer was also stressing my loved ones out." - Total-Ad886f
"I was having panic attacks in the middle of the night due to my husband's health and lack of care. So when he finally started seeing someone in my same doctor's office (but not the same doctor), it was SO much better."
"My doc and the nurse have been really, really concerned about my mental health, so they were happy to hear that he's taking his health seriously and improving, because that means that I am sleeping more and my mental health is better, and that means my ability to manage my own chronic pain and health issues has been better."
"I was not coping at all and barely able to function." - popchex
"The doctor may have mentioned OP in the conversation with her husband if he was trying to ascertain if he had stressors that may contribute to his stomach issues. Sure, your spouse, children, work, and parents can be considered stressors at times in anyone’s life."
"For me, where he crossed the line was when he decided just how OP’s condition will impact the future."
"Firstly, OP is obviously capable of caring for everyone, including herself and children, with minimal, if any, assistance. As OP ages, more assistance may be required, but this may also be the case for her husband, too, as he ages. The responsibility of the children will not be a factor, as they are adults."
"So the doctor’s predictions are presumptive and unnecessary. Health is not guaranteed for anyone. We all will face various challenges to our physical abilities as we age."
"What I would take up with the clinic is why he felt it necessary to ask the husband why he married OP. To additionally state because of that, ‘He was a good man’ is grossly inappropriate and unprofessional."
"There is potential for an ongoing issue to arise if OP were to continue seeing this doctor. His bias toward her husband may very well influence any care she may need in the future. NOR." - Cool-Blackberry-785
"It doesn’t make sense because if your husband was talking about how stressed he was, why would the doctor bring up more reasons he should be stressed? Or if he didn’t seem stressed enough, is the doctor then going to be like, 'Consider how stressed you’ll be in X amount of years'?"
"It sort of sounds like he’s saying something like, 'Why would a man do that?'"
"The only exception I’d give is if your husband had some sort of health thing he’s completely ignoring, and the doctor was trying to give him a wake-up moment. Because then, they sort of have to be blunt to make you realize you need to prioritize your health. But simply being stressed isn’t enough to start saying, 'Why did you marry your wife?'"
"Whenever it’s women in your husband’s position, they just get told they’re an awesome rockstar. No one questions WHY they do it."
"NOR. You should find a doctor who makes you feel supported, and you feel is better overall."
"I wouldn’t make your husband change yet. It is hard to find doctors you like. Maybe when you establish with a better doctor, he’ll switch, too." - imwearingredsocks
Since the OP's husband went to the doctor to discuss stomach issues and likely how to remedy them, it's reasonable that the subject of possible stressors would come up, so the husband could avoid those stressors and improve his symptoms.
However, some Redditors felt that also including details about his marriage and fatherhood in the conversation was crossing a line, and while being a care provider to a spouse could be stressful, many felt it was being addressed from an ableist perspective instead.