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Mom Balks After Friend Accuses Her Of Sleeping With Her Fiancé And Demands Paternity Test

A paternity test
Peter Dazeley/Getty Images

There are a lot of reasons for a couple to decide to have a long engagement after a marriage proposal, often because of the costs and planning time of the wedding.

But another key reason might be for people to sus out if their partner is marriage material, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.

Redditor Bubbly-Fall-4316 was excited when her two good friends became engaged and happily offered her large bed-and-breakfast-style home as a venue for their big day.

But when the bride showed up with huge accusations about their friendship, the Original Poster (OP) quickly rescinded her offer, despite the wedding being around the corner.

She asked the sub:

“AITAH for refusing to lend my friend my house for her wedding after she asked me for a paternity test, resulting in her having to cancel the wedding?”

The OP had a friend she’d be close to for all of her adult life.

“My friend, Sandra, and I have known each other for over 20 years (we are 30 and 32 Female). Sandra is getting married to Andres, and I am married to Ian.”

“Here is some other relevant information:”

“Andres and I originally come from the same country and even the same region. We share many characteristics.”

“We both have very round faces, deep brown eyes, long straight black hair, etc. If you didn’t know better, you might assume we are siblings.”

“I met Andres six years ago and introduced him to Sandra. He proposed two years ago.”

When she found out Andres and Sandra were getting married, the OP was happy to host.

“I own a beautiful property in my home country that I was ready to lend to Sandra and Andres for their wedding. My property is a finca (like a bed and breakfast) and has 10 rooms.”

“Usually, I would rent it out for weddings at a somewhat high price, but I was happy to give it to them at no cost, with the condition that they hire the catering and have their guests strip their beds when they leave.”

But then Sandra started some drama that no one saw coming.

“Three months ago, Sandra became more reclusive. She wouldn’t answer my texts, and we didn’t meet up.”

“Two weeks ago, she appeared at my door with Andres. They sat us down (my husband included) and said she suspected that my daughter was actually Andres’ biological daughter and requested a paternity test for her peace of mind.”

“Andres was clearly not chill about this. He seemed exasperated. He was quite upset and basically just agreed to this conversation so Sandra would drop it.”

“I was so shocked that I couldn’t say anything. My husband lost his temper and raised his voice, telling Sandra that she was being absolutely stupid.”

“Sandra pointed out that my daughter looks like Andres. I explained that Andres and I look alike. She kept shaking her head, saying my daughter would look more like my husband and not like my exact copy.”

The demand for a paternity test effectively ruined Sandra’s friendship with the OP.

“The evening ended poorly. I agreed to the test if they paid for it.”

“The results came back last Friday, showing that Andres was not the father. We also did a test confirming that my husband is the father.”

“Sandra cried and tried to hug me. I told her I didn’t want to and that I didn’t want to be friends with her for the time being.”

“She kept saying her worries were justified and made a comment about ‘women from your country being more likely to do that.'” 

Sandra’s closing remarks ruined her chances at her wedding venue, too.

“In that moment, I was filled with anger. I told her she could forget about using the venue and that I didn’t want her in my life anymore. She started crying, but I made her leave.”

“Her mom and she have been texting me, saying they can’t find a new venue. I still said no.”

“Twenty minutes ago, Sandra called me sobbing, saying that the wedding was off because of me.”

“Am I the a**hole? Is this actually my fault? Should I have let her use the venue at the usual price, or was what I did okay?”


Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some quite simply could not get past Sandra’s audacity. 

“NTA. The wedding is off because she was an insecure jealous friend who accused you of cheating on your husband with her fiancé because she was delusional as f**k.”

“She then had the audacity to try to hug you. She then had the audacity to be racist when you stuck up for yourself.”

“She then had the audacity to try to use YOUR place for her venue. She then had the audacity to cry and beg you. She then had the audacity to blame you for her doomed engagement falling through.”

“And yet you’re the one asking if you’re in the wrong? No, just no. Enjoy your newfound peace without her in your life.” – Dry-Reception-2388

“I can’t wait to read, ‘The Lion, the Witch, and the Audacity of This B***h.'” – Get_Bent_Madafakas

“What gets me is, she never even apologized?! She just started crying and wanted to hug OP like, ‘Yaaay, you’re not a sl*t, and my fiancé didn’t get his leg over you, let’s celebrate,’ or something?”

“I don’t understand why Andres even agreed to look for a different venue instead of dumping Sandra right there.” – Stormtomcat

“Sandra’s whole defense was like, ‘I’m glad you’re not a proven sl*t, but it’s widely known that you, your mama, and my man come from a w**re country, no offense.’ No wonder she has no friends and no man.” – CandyCain1001

“The best part is the ‘you people’ Sandra spoke of, as her fiance is the same ethnicity and nationality as the OP, and his MOTHER is a woman of the same ethnicity and nationality.”

“I’m just surprised she stayed engaged as long as she did (I assume ‘the wedding is off’ means off and not postponed while looking for a venue). I can’t imagine any man I know going along with this absolute insulting clown show situation.”

“First, she had to go to him and accuse him of cheating and fathering the baby. Then, she had to persuade him to go with her to share and spread the insult and disrespect to his close friend and HER husband. Then, he had to hand over his DNA to be tested and maybe some money, too, all while what? Still planning to use the house and still get married?” – cakivalue

Others reassured the OP that her venue had nothing to do with the canceled wedding.

“NTA. The wedding is off because she accused her fiance of infidelity and then insulted your AND HER FIANCE’S culture by implying that women from said culture are sl*tty or have no respect for relationships.”

“Maybe she shouldn’t be an insecure racist.” – FoggyDaze415

“She basically implied that not only the OP, but Andres’ mother/sister/aunts/cousins, are also potential sl**ty home wreckers. The man can’t run fast enough away from this woman.” – Diastrous-Bee-1557

“I guess it never occurred to Sandra that her fiancé might object to marrying someone who doesn’t even trust him.”

“And if this is how Sandra treats her friends… I can’t imagine she has many people to invite to a wedding.” – Best-Confidence1560

“Totally NTA. The wedding is off because of her. Apart from the slurs she flung at you, she demonstrated that she has no trust in her fiancé. I suspect that this is the real reason why the wedding is off.”

“If it was just the venue, they could have found another or postponed.” – whoopiedo

“NTA. Sandra’s comment was incredibly offensive on so many levels. Not only did she insult OP, but she also managed to disrespect Andres’ entire family and culture.”

“Trust and respect are fundamental in any relationship, and her actions clearly showed a lack of both. It’s no wonder the wedding is off; this kind of behavior would be a red flag for anyone.” – sometimes_upvotes

After receiving feedback, the OP shared a brief and puzzling update.

“Just a quick update: Andres and Sandra are no longer together. This totally wrecked Andres’ faith in her and he couldn’t see her as his wife. I don’t blame him.”

“Sandra just wrote me an email apologizing and for some reason sent me 25,67 euros via PayPal. I’m totally confused about why she did that and why she sent such an odd amount, but whatever.”

“Anyway. Thank you all for weighing in.”

Even after the OP’s update, the Redditors in the comments section were still twirling with Sandra’s audacity, both in her accusations and her nonexistent, racist apology.

It was clear that she wanted to blame the end of her relationship and her called-off wedding on someone else, and the OP was an easy target after retracting her venue offer, but it was even clearer that there was no one to blame but Sandra and her offensive ideas.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.