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Guy Refuses To Re-Propose To Fiancée With Pricey New Ring After She Loses The Original On Trip

Marriage proposal
Tom Werner/Getty Images

Marriage proposals, engagement periods, and weddings are meant to be incredibly happy times full of celebration for the happy couple.

But sometimes during the engagement window, the couple may realize they don’t share as many values as they originally thought, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.

Redditor dawnmderrrt had saved up for over a year for his fiancée’s wedding ring and a lovely proposal, only for his fiancée to lose her ring during a hiking trip.

When his fiancée demanded a replacement ring and proposal to show his love for her, the Original Poster (OP) began to question how their values aligned.

He asked the sub:

“AITAH for refusing to re-propose after my fiancée lost her engagement ring?”

The OP’s fiancée lost her engagement ring during a romantic getaway.

“I (29 Male) proposed to my fiancée (28 Female) six months ago with a beautiful ring that I saved up for over a year to buy.”

“She was thrilled, and we’ve been happily planning our wedding since then.”

“Last weekend, we went on a trip to the mountains for a little getaway. During one of our hikes, she realized that her engagement ring was missing. She was devastated and we spent hours retracing our steps, but we couldn’t find it.”

The OP was surprised by what his fiancée demanded next.

“When we got back home, she asked if I could get a new ring and re-propose to her to recreate the special moment.”

“I told her that I understood how she felt, but buying another ring of the same quality would be financially challenging for me right now.”

“I suggested that we could either wait until I could afford a similar ring or get a more modest ring for now and upgrade it in the future.”

“She was upset and said that it wouldn’t feel the same with a different ring and that the magic of the proposal was lost.”

The OP was concerned about his future wife’s priorities.

“She insisted that she wanted the moment to be recreated just as it was before.”

“I told her that the important thing was our commitment to each other, not the ring or the proposal itself.”

“She accused me of not caring enough about her feelings and said that if I truly loved her, I would find a way to make it happen.”

“Now, there’s a lot of tension between us, and she’s been distant ever since.”

“I feel like I’m being practical, but she feels like I’m not valuing our engagement enough.”

“AITAH for refusing to re-propose with a new ring under these circumstances?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some empathized with the OP and said they would have been reeling if they lost their rings.

“I lost my engagement ring in the house, and I spent almost four hours sobbing like a psycho because I thought it was a demonstration on how much I valued it, instead of my fear of salmonella while seasoning dinner.”

“Never lost that b***h again.” – Express-Rae

“This is hysterical reading as the husband of a wife who also lost her engagement ring.”

“She was a sobbing mess that spent hours tearing through the yard and house to try to find it. At one point, delirious, she proposed pulling up the floor boards to see if it had somehow fallen there (we have laminate).”

“Luckily we found it in the yard with a metal detector, which I then proceeded to jokingly propose again on the condition she could keep it longer than four months, lol (laughing out loud).”

“Happily married now for eight years.” – Marsdreamer

“NTA… I would be horrified if I lost the ring my fiancé got me. No way would I expect him to replace it with conditions.”

“If I were you, I would really consider who you’ve asked to marry you and where their priorities lay. In the future however, I would insure the ring.” – Feisty_Cougar420

“NTA. I lost my wedding band six months into my marriage. Got up early, saw the wife off on a women’s weekend retreat she was doing music for, and after she left, I noticed the sprinklers were running, and a couple needed some work.”

“After digging up three sprinklers, I realized, ‘Oh s**t! Where’s my wedding ring?’ I went to the local tool rental place and rented a metal detector. In the course of over two hours, I dug up at least two dozen rusty nails in my yard and finally managed to find the gold ring I’d lost.”

“I figured I was home free, until the wife got back the following evening and asked, ‘So, what’s this $40 receipt for the tool rental place for a metal detector?’ Yep, BUSTED!”

“I responded, ‘That was to find the wedding ring you gave me after I lost it in our yard!'”

“My wife responded, ‘Were you successful?'”

“From that point on (23 years ago), we banned each other from wearing our wedding rings while working in the yard, or me from wearing mine working outdoors at work.”

“One day after washing my hands at work, I managed to accidentally fling my ring into the sink while shaking my hands to get them mostly dry. That’s probably exactly how the yard got my ring, shaking the sprinkler water off my hands…” – 2Where2

Others agreed and questioned if the OP’s fiancée was really “the one.”

“If his fiancee really loved OP, she could spend a year of her free time retracing her footsteps on the hike to find the ring instead of him spending another year saving up for a new ring.”

“He already put in the year of effort. It’s her turn.”

“But seriously, who wears precious jewelry to do outdoor sports? I say this as someone who likes jewelry.” – rhetorical_twix

“Hello, The door is open leave while you have the chance! You just got a view of what being permanently attached to her will be like! She ought to be ashamed for caring so little about securing something so precious!” – wasabiworth1585

“OP said he saved for a year for it, so I put it at a $5000 piece of jewelry. That’s a significant loss imo, no matter if she lost it because it slipped off during the hike or if she took it off to wash her hands at the ranger station at the start of the hike & forgot to put it back on.”

“The fact of the matter is that she’s not taking responsibility for the financial and emotional loss she caused.”

“Add in the ‘if you truly loved me’ with the expectation that a) OP just magically find another $5000 and b) OP jumps through any hoops she indicates…” – stormtomcat

“NTA. ‘If you really loved me’ is a trap to try to get you to do something not just illogical, but counter-productive. You have actual things that you need to use your resources on, besides sentimental, non-pressing ‘moments to re-create.'”

“This actually sounds like some sort of test to see how far she can push you. Tread carefully.” – zapthycat1

“OP’s fiancée probably didn’t like the ring or thought that it wasn’t expensive enough. She might not have even lost the ring and only wants to choose a better one of her liking.”

“If she really lost the ring by accident, which I doubt given her manipulative behavior, she should take responsibility and buy a new ring for herself. It makes no sense for OP to be in more financial trouble when he wasn’t the one who lost the ring, especially when they already have to deal with wedding expenses.”

“OP’s suggestion of getting a less expensive ring now and upgrading it in the future is already more than his fiancée deserves.”

“His fiancée’s behavior is a huge red flag because it shows that she isn’t mature enough to marry, has no notion of the value of money, doesn’t care about OP’s finances, and has difficulty taking accountability for her mistakes. NTA, OP.” – HilMickaelson

“I am wondering if the girlfriend really liked the ring and proposal, at all. Oh, no, lost the ring! Do over! Seems like a ‘great’ way of getting what you really want.” – Glitterknave

“She doesn’t see them as true partners, because, in theory, OP’s finances would affect his fiance’s finances. She’s making this 100% his problem even though she’s the one who lost the f**king ring.”

“‘If you really loved me…’ The AUDACITY.”

“She’s manipulative as f**k and greedy.”

“Partner of the Year.” – labellavita1985

The subReddit not only was shocked that the OP’s fiancée wasn’t accepting responsibility for losing her engagement ring but that she had demanded her future husband prove his love and commitment to her by fixing her problems for her.

In all reality, if the OP’s fiancée want to prove her love for him, she probably should have looked harder for the missing ring, or at the very least, she could have offered to assist with the costs of the replacement or maybe, just maybe, not take an important piece of jewelry on a hiking trip.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.