Everyone is beautiful at a wedding.
At least everyone should be beautiful at a wedding.
The newlyweds want everyone to put their best foot forward fashionwise.
Right?
But what if someone is just a little “too” beautiful?
Case in point…
Redditor weddingsil wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for telling my SIL that she upstaged me at my wedding?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (30 F[emale]) recently got married to Matt (30).”
“Matt has a stepsister, Tiffany (28 F).”
“I have met her less than 10 times in the five years I dated Matt as she doesn’t live nearby and is not close to my husband.”
“However, she was invited to our wedding.”
“I should mention that Tiffany is very attractive.”
“She is pretty, with a currently fashionable body type, she also dresses well and spends money on her appearance.”
“This is well known and even though I’ve only met her a few times whenever she is brought up by my in-laws she always mentioned as being very invested in her image.”
“I don’t begrudge her this at all.”
“The ceremony went fine, but afterward, while my in-laws were congratulating me, my F[ather] I[n] L[aw] commented that I looked beautiful, and in the next breath mentioned Tiffany did, too.”
“His wife caught his eye and shook her head, but I ignored it.”
“When Tiffany came over to say congratulations, she looked stunning.”
“Her dress was beautiful and fitted her perfectly, her hair and make up looked like they’d been done professionally, and she was wearing a pair of obviously designer shoes.”
“Her outfit was totally appropriate for the event, but I was still weirdly upset by how she looked and immediately felt self-conscious next to her.”
“Even Matt told her she looked great, and they rarely talk.”
“For the rest of the night, every single male guest at the wedding asked about Tiffany.”
“Who she was, how I know her, if she was single, etc.”
“By the speeches, I was fed up and almost in tears, and even the best man mentioned her in his speech off the cuff.”
“I let it go, went on my honeymoon, and tried to forget the whole thing.”
“We came back about a week ago, and this past weekend had dinner with my in-laws.”
“Tiffany was visiting, and we learned that she had got engaged.”
“She showed us her comically large ring and said she was planning to have the wedding next year and that it would be a black tie event.”
“Before I could stop myself, I jokingly said that I was pretty sure I’d already been to her wedding, I was the one in the white dress.”
“She asked what I meant, and I thought there was no point in lying so I just admitted I felt she upstaged me at my wedding.”
“She laughed and said you can’t upstage a bride.”
“I asked if I could wear white to her wedding then and she shrugged and said ‘if you think it’ll help.'”
“She then apologized if I felt her outfit was inappropriate.”
“My in-laws moved the conversation on and we went on with dinner.”
“When we got home my husband blew up on me, saying I embarrassed him by being petty and jealous of Tiffany.”
“He said he doesn’t even like her but even he knows she can’t do anything about what she looks like or the clothes she can afford.”
“And I made myself look bitter and childish, and him by association.”
“I admit it wasn’t my best moment, but I thought he would at least understand how I felt given that he heard everyone’s comments that night.”
“He’s demanding I apologize to Tiffany and his parents but I don’t think I said anything that heinous.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“If you think it’ll help.”
“What a burn!”
“Classy and subtle and still put the other in their place.”
“I like Tiffany.”
“With OP’s attitude it’s not that hard to upstage her btw, confidence is sexy and good manners are the cherry on top. YTA.” ~ Cute-Shine-1701
“If the bride felt like all the guests were asking her about Tiffany instead of congratulating her on her big day, she just has shi**y friends.”
“It’s not Tiffany’s fault that the people OP invited didn’t know what’s appropriate to talk to a bride about during her wedding/reception!”
“Tiffany respected her brother and OP enough to make sure she looked her best at their wedding, and OP is over here complaining.”
“I once went to a ‘formal’ wedding where the bride’s brother showed up to the church in jean shorts.”
“I guess OP is just lucky enough that her biggest issue is people looking great at her wedding.”
“She should be thankful!” ~ OrindaSarnia
“I mean the whole post was about how awesome Tiffany is, it’s hard not to agree with OP, that Tiffany does seem pretty cool.”
“It’s a shame OP is choosing jealousy and bitterness over friendship, and maybe even getting some style pointers but to each their own.”
“Doesn’t make her less of an AH for it though.” ~ Ancient_Potential285
“A friend of mine’s S[ister] I[n] L[aw] is a f**king bombshell.”
“She’s super artsy too, so that helps.”
“She’s just super confident and it helps her pull off some of her more quirky looks.”
“But they WORK.”
“At one point my friend commented that she and her husband follow her on Insta just to laugh at her and they made some pretty rude remarks about her.”
“And I just can’t comprehend that weird jealousy.”
“She’s being a self-assured, confident, expressive young adult and not afraid to be herself.”
“She works and just lives her life.” ~ pillowcrates
“LOL… Tiffany’s getting a lot of love in the comments and I’m about it.”
“It’s sad that OP let this ruin her wedding like the insecurity and jealousy is emanating from this post.”
“Just because people said Tiffany looked nice and pretty?”
“Telling people at weddings they look nice is standard conversation at weddings and formal events.”
“I tell everyone they look pretty or handsome or great! because they do!”
“It’s fancy! never have I seen a bride or groom upstaged.”
“OP, get a grip. Your jOkE was not funny and really just out of pocket and jealousy.” ~ mari_locaaa9
“I have a friend who dresses incredibly well.”
“Her makeup and hair are always flawless and her outfits and accessories are always immaculate.”
“At my wedding, she looked amazing and appropriate and numerous people commented to me on her outfit.”
“Heck, we got married years ago and sometimes people still mention her outfit or ‘the girl with the awesome dress.'”
“It never occurred to me to be jealous or feel upstaged.”
“People still definitely knew it was my wedding and my fashionable friend loved my dress!”
“I feel bad for OP but she needs to work on her self-confidence.” ~ Jilltro
“While I don’t personally think I’m particularly good-looking (I’m not my ‘type’ aesthetically), I tend to get a lot of male attention.”
“I’m 5’9/10, pretty thin, and have cartoonishly large boobs.”
“My best friend since childhood is short and a bigger girl.”
“At her mom’s funeral, some of her brother’s friends were talking about how I was ‘still hot’ and ‘kept it tight’ at almost 40.”
“She didn’t freak out, she told me about it later and was laughing. Why?”
“Because she’s a grown woman who understands that there’s not much I can do about being a giant walking set of breasts!”
“She’s also confident enough in herself to know that random men wanting to see me naked doesn’t make her ‘less than.'”
“OP, you need to grow up. YTA.” ~ cantthinkofcutename
“The way she’s acting you’d think Tiffany was her husband’s old flame rather than his sister.”
“She needs to pull back and get her jealousy under control.”
“There are always gonna be girls prettier than you.”
“It’s not their fault and it’s not their responsibility to try to tone themselves down to make others feel better about themselves.”
“YTA- sorry you let your self-consciousness diminish your wedding.”
“That’s really unfortunate but it’s no one’s fault but your own.” ~ acegirl1985
“I’m told I’m beautiful but I’m still insecure about my appearance.”
“You know what I don’t do?”
“Discourage my friend who is (in my opinion) much prettier than me from wearing the things she likes and looks amazing in.”
“YTA. Stop dragging people – especially women, because we get shamed and/or judged so harshly for how we dress – down for their sartorial choices and makeup, OP.” ~ jayclaw97
“Yeah the FIL and best man are AHs too.”
“The former for immediately jumping to complimenting Tiffany… to the bride.”
“And the best man for including her in the speech.”
“I’d be annoyed as the bride but annoyed with them, not Tiffany so OP is still an AH.” ~ HooWhatWhen
Well OP, Reddit is not really on your side here.
It sounds like maybe you need a little self-reflection.
Enjoy your new life.
And maybe have a heart-to-heart with Tiffany.