A lot of attention is paid to sibling rivalry and conflict. But you rarely hear about siblings supporting each other.
It probably speaks to the desire for interpersonal drama that keeps reality television popular.
An older sibling—who took action to support their younger brother years ago—turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
FunFace3389 asked:
“AITA for ruining my brother’s childhood memory by admitting I photoshopped it 14 years ago?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“When my younger brother (20 now) was 6, he went through a huge Harry Potter phase. He loved the wizarding world and believed he might meet ‘Harry Potter’ (Daniel Radcliffe) or the other characters on a family trip to Scotland since Hogwarts was ‘there’.”
“No one promised him this, but he convinced himself it could happen. Sadly, the trip was canceled after our grandpa passed away, and my brother was devastated for both reasons.”
“To cheer him up, I decided to craft a ‘souvenir’. I was 16 and had just discovered photoshop, so I edited a picture of my brother with Daniel Radcliffe to make it look like they’d met.”
“I printed it, framed it, and gave it to him without telling him it was fake. He loved it and fully believed he’d met Daniel.”
“Soon, he had an entire story about the meeting; what they talked about, how Daniel hugged him, etc… It was so sweet, and none of us (my family and I) had the heart to tell him the truth.”
“Fast forward 14 years, and my brother still didn’t know that the old, low quality picture of him meeting Daniel Radcliffe is fake. I never told him because his memory of the fake meeting felt so real to him that it became one of his proudest stories.”
“Over time the memory became less important and the framed picture had been packed away in some box, and my brother has long outgrown his Harry Potter obsession.”
“Yesterday, however, we were at our parents’ home and we were bringing up old memories, you know how it goes. The story of meeting Daniel Radcliffe came up, and thinking it was harmless, I told him the truth.”
“I thought he’d laugh but instead he got visibly upset. He didn’t want to believe me at first, thinking I was messing with him.”
“I told him the real story of how and why I did it. He told me that it feels like I robbed him of a real childhood memory that he really cherished, and he feels embarrassed thinking about all the times he’s told people about meeting Daniel Radcliffe in person, even recently.”
“We ended our conversation on a semi-good note, though. I apologised for not telling him sooner, because I do feel bad that it meant so much to him even now.”
“But I don’t regret it. Back then, it made him so happy during a rough time, and I don’t regret giving him that joy. I just didn’t realize how much it still meant to him.”
“So I’m just wondering, am (or was) I the a-hole?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I photoshopped a picture of my younger brother with Daniel Radcliffe when he was a kid, let him believe it was real for years, and only told him the truth 14 years later.”
“Revealing the truth now made him feel embarrassed about cherishing a memory that wasn’t real and sharing it with others, which could make me the a**hole for not being honest sooner.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“Just goes to show that false memories really can be planted so firmly they become real. Every time he told the story it was reinforced. Parents really should have said something by age 12 or 13.” ~ Ciskakid
“False memories are well documented in child psychology. It’s very easy to convince someone of a false childhood memory, and they will even accidentally fabricate additional details.”
“There doesn’t have to be any malice involved, it’s just a weird quirk about the way brains work.” ~ CallistanCallistan
“NTA. It’s like Santa. You did it with good intentions and he never met him. He was 6, now he is 20. Maybe disappointing, but he’s 20 years old…”
“It would be worse to continue the fantasy for an adult. I am sure no one ever thought at the time this would be the result 14 years later.”
“Sounds like he just never got the memo it wasn’t real. Much worse things that can happen as an adult.” ~ Miss_Judge_and_Jury
“I don’t think either brother is the a**hole here. 14 years ago, the OP was a teenager trying to do something nice for his little brother.”
“And now, I’m sure it’s hard for the brother to learn the truth and embarrassing to think he might have to tell other people he inadvertently lied, too.”
“Really, the parents should have intervened once they realized the 6-year-old believed he met Daniel Radcliffe.” ~ 0biterdicta
“Truthfully, this feels like an NAH. OP was being kind, thoughtful and caring when they created the picture.”
“Little bro isn’t in the wrong for being embarrassed given how much time has passed and that he honestly believed the memory was real. Hopefully with time the embarrassment will pass and he’ll be grateful to have a sibling who cared this much about his happiness.” ~ beneaththeseracs
“I’m a tad surprised that you could convince a six-year-old they’d met their idol when they hadn’t, but you’re still NTA.” ~ WelfordNelferd
“NAH. You did a sweet thing and 14 years later you admitted the truth without thinking it through.”
“He obviously cherished the memory and feels like you ripped it away from him.”
“Neither of you are at fault. Mistakes were made but there was no malice involved.” ~ QueenQueerBen
“NTA. You were 16, he was 6. You did a cute thing for your kid brother. It’s not on you that the adults in the situation never clued him in, and let him persist in thinking this event really happened into adulthood.”
“Really, they should have done something, up to and including getting him professional help, when he started developing the fantasy that the meeting had really happened and behaving like it was a real event.”
“That is when the adults should have intervened because that is when it stopped being harmless fun.” ~ CuriousEmphasis7698
“It’s a little harsh to say a (relatively small) child needs therapy because he believed a story that was told to him as fact.”
“It seems strange to us, as adults, that he could have simply been told something happened, believed it, and then filled out the rest of the story, but realistically, this was a 6-year-old child, and implanting false memories isn’t exactly rocket scientist level sh*t at that age.”
“And then every time he thought about, and every time he talked about it, it made it more real, and he never had the real-life version of the story to change his memory.”
“So, of course, he believed it. Maybe it’s concerning he believed it until his twenties, but you’re being unnecessarily unkind to a literal child for doing child things by suggesting they need professional help for thinking like a child.” ~ MorganAndMerlin
The OP provided an update.
“Hello again Reddit! My post from a week ago got quite a lot of attention. Reading through all the comments was an experience, thank you all for sharing your thoughts (and gently or not so gently humbling me).”
“Apparently, the consensus is that I’m kind of an a-hole, but like a well-meaning one? I’ll take it.”
“The thing that amused me the most, though, was how everyone just assumed I’m my brother’s older brother. For the record, I never said that! Could be his sister, could be his sibling—it’s 2024, people, let’s not default to dudes all the time.”
“Anyways, a lot of people told me to find a way to contact Daniel Radcliffe for real and get some kind of message to my brother. While I appreciate the ambition, I don’t exactly have Daniel’s number lying around, and cold-calling celebrities isn’t in my skill set.”
“Besides, I figured my brother might appreciate a bit of humor over me, spiraling into some overly elaborate apology plan. We hadn’t seen each other since my post, but we finally met up Saturday.”
“I brought him a new photoshopped picture of 20-year-old him with Daniel Radcliffe, captioned ‘Reunited at last’. I just made it on my phone, and thankfully, he loved it (and definitely doesn’t think it’s real this time.”
“Seriously though, we had another conversation about the whole situation. My brother said it was still crappy to find out like this and so late, but that he appreciates me telling the truth.”
“I asked him about the memory and how it felt so real to him since a lot of comments were wondering that too. He said that looking back, it’s possible he knew it wasn’t real at first but started telling a story about it to impress his friends, and somewhere along the way, he started believing his own hype.”
“I also told him about the Reddit post, and we had a good laugh reading through some of the comments together. But when I jokingly asked if I could share either photo, he gave me a hard no.”
“So, sorry, Reddit, these masterpieces stay in the family!”
Alls well that ends well, for this OP.
After some reflection—and a sincere apology—it was obvious no malice was intended. It was just an older sibling trying to make their 6-year-old brother feel better.