You should always be honest with your romantic partner, except for those times you shouldn't. One Redditor learned this the hard way when she played a game of "Truth or Dare" with some friends and her boyfriend.
However, she's unsure if she was actually in the wrong, so she took her situation the Reddit's AITA or "Am I the A**hole" subReddit, where you ask the titular question and allow the internet to judge your deeds.
So, dana66496, the Original Poster (OP) asked:
"AITA for being honest and answering an intimate truth or dare question in front of my boyfriend?"
As her story goes:
"I am currently sharing a student house with my boyfriend, one other guy and three girls. The whole uni experience this year has been pretty boring so far, meaning we've pretty much been forced to make our own fun."
"Anyway, we were all drinking and having a good time last night. At one point, somebody suggested that we play a game of truth or dare."
"Since we're all drunken 20 year olds, the questions/tasks quickly became NSFW."
"Eventually it was my turn and I opted for truth. They asked me the size of the biggest c*ck I've been with."
"I'm terrible at determining sizes so I measured it out with my hands. There was the expected range of reactions. "Omg!" "Yas Queen!!" "Whoa! Hahaha."
"Then we continued the game as normal with everyone else receiving similarly ruthless questions. We all had a good laugh together then went to our rooms. I could tell my boyfriend was annoyed at me but I didn't know why so I asked."
"He told me it was uncool of me to talk about an ex-partner like that. I told him he had nothing to worry about. It's not even like he's small. He's a great size!"
"He ignored me and went straight to sleep. This morning, he has been giving me the silent treatment and it's got me thinking, am I the a**hole here?"
"I really don't see the problem. I gave no indication to the others that I wasn't talking about my boyfriend so it's not like I publicly emasculated him or anything. I'm confused. Maybe it was insensitive of me? I don't know."
"What do you guys think? AITA?"
On the AITA forum, responses are judged in a few different ways.
Usually, it's one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
And in this instance, people were pretty split.
There was a very vocal portion that assured OP she did nothing wrong.
"NTA. The question wasnt "who's your favorite out of everyone?" Then it may have been appropriate to lie. It was a statement of fact, nothing more." - twizzlersfun
"NTA"
"I think everything is fine as long as your truth is not answering an actual intimate detail about your boyfriend. Like if they would ask: "How big is the cock of your boyfriend?", then I think you shouldn't answer that question."
"But as the answer was about an anonymous person, which even could be your actual boyfriend, I think it's fine." - Feroc
"NTA...You may want to think twice about playing truth or dare in his presence. We all know this could have gone much much worse." - RoyallyOakie
"NTA, he was fine with you playing so he should've expected that type of question especially if you're drunk 20 year olds. Not to mention that everyone else got similar questions." - Sammysoupcat
Others weren't so sure.
"NTA"
"He's taking a fact personally." - Mister_fish800
"Many things are facts, they dont need to be said just because they're facts."
"Men are allowed to have self esteem issues when it comes to their penis size ." - NoCapnCrunch
"YTA"
"Game or no game, objectification is not cool." - SlimShady_69
"I'm saying YTA.
"For not knowing why he'd be annoyed firstly. Imagine a guy saying 'biggest tits I'd ever seen' and the whole circle clapping for him and cheering him like it's an achievement but you're sat there with your B-Cups. But, hey, it's okay because you got a good size too!"
"Secondly for not getting why he'd not be reassured with your 'well they don't know it wasn't about you and you ain't got nowt to worry about because you're doing alright'."
"I'm the last one to be 'If the roles reversed' but this is a definite moment where we need to acknowledge that men get self conscious just as much as women do."
"If he's uncomfortable then he's uncomfortable, you acting aloof and then saying 'you ain't so bad though' isn't the type of reassuring that he needs." - -BitchyFont-
All that said, it was a user by the name of birdpoop69 that had the real lesson to be learned.
"Playing truth or dare as a couple is never a good idea" - birdpoop69
Truer words were never spoken.
Woman Breaks Up With 'Clingy' Boyfriend For Making Joke About 'Getting With' Her Sister
As much as we might want to date someone, there's no point in trying to gain the attention and affection of someone who does not want to reciprocate.
Dating someone "similar" to fill that void isn't a good look, either, cringed the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Flashy-External1666 had been long-distance dating a guy from her friend group for about a month, even though he'd expressed his attraction to her older sister repeatedly before they started dating.
When her sister entered a new relationship, the Original Poster (OP) was hurt and disgusted that her boyfriend insinuated that he could have been trying to "get with" her sister while he was instead busy dating her.
She asked the sub:
The OP was aware that her boyfriend had his eye on someone close to her before dating her.
"I (19 Female) am with M (21 Male), and we've been together for a month. We were friends before this, for a while."
"For some background, when we were in a friend group, he'd always talk about how my sister (23 Female) was super hot and how he wanted her, but she was in a relationship at the time."
When he found out that her sister had been in-between relationships, he had an unsavory reaction.
"Earlier today, I mentioned to him how my sister started seeing this new guy, and I was super proud of her, because she went through a lot with her last relationship."
"His immediate reply was, 'Dang,' one month too late' with a sad emoji, insinuating that he was one month too late to get with her, because we've been together for a month."
You can see the text message exchange here:
The OP was immediately turned off by the idea of dating him.
"After I got upset and he apologized, he immediately sent me a reel that said, 'When she's already upset about me, but I have a second joke in mind.'"
"I feel like he genuinely doesn't care about me."
"He has also gotten weirdly clingy within the month, like red-flag clingy."
"He keeps trying to say how he loves me, wants to marry me, and wants me to go live with him. But he also always brings up my exes and gets super jealous when HE mentions them."
"I don't know what to do. Should I block him??"
"He's mentioned before that I would need to block him on everything if we ever broke up because he'd never leave me alone (we are currently long-distance)."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some were grossed out by the boyfriend's text message and understood why the OP was upset.
"The fact that he wrote all that out and even added a little emoji at the end and still decided to send it, knowing it would be hurtful for you."
"Seems like he’s texted that to see if he could get away with it. Either way, you don’t say something like that to someone you care about…" - Oven_Traditional
"NOR. Ew! That’s so disrespectful coming from someone who should be thrilled to have you."
"I’m team 'dump him.' If he has a brother, maybe ask for his brother’s number as you end it just to see how he likes it." - Entire-Tonight-1463
"NOR. He's not joking about your sister. Based on what he's said about her in the past, it would have been a wise move to NOT date him at all. PERIOD."
'There's a possibility that he's clingy/close to you for the purpose of indirectly keeping an eye on your sister. Release him and let him go, thereby setting yourself free from foolishness." - AtlJazzy2024
"He’s not for you… Break up with him and block him. You deserve a guy who treasures YOU!" - Muted-Lynx-8745
"He might be your boyfriend, but you're not his girlfriend. In his mind, your sister is." - Save-your-spoons
Others urged the OP to block her boyfriend and move on.
"Girl, it's been a month. Let that loser go." - sleepymelfho
"He kept OP as a backup, while circling her sister's orbit. What has happened to transparency and honesty in relationships? All I read now is obnoxious men doing obnoxious things to their partners."
"OP, he's keeping you around to stay close to your sister. You deserve better... NOR." - ColdHandGee
"NOR. You know that he's not joking about wanting your sister. He told on himself before you even got together, talking about how hot she was. Believe him."
"Break up with him and cut him off immediately. I can't believe you ever agreed to date him in the first place. I'd never want to date someone who had the hots for someone else in my immediate circle, whether that was a sibling or a friend." - Lanky_Mud_8148
"You’ve been dating one month, and that’s one month too long."
"He’s not joking about your sister. He fancies her more than you, and you’re the consolation prize. He will pursue her given the chance."
"Time to dump him." - Special_Wind_6708
"NOR. He can't have your sister, so you're just the next best thing. Him being a clingy weirdo that 'will never leave you alone' is the cherry on top."
"You know what to do. Dump him and block him on everything. If anyone from the friend group asks, just tell them what you told us. And you REALLY should warn your sister; you have receipts." - sdoM-bmuD
"Ditch him. Honestly. What are you waiting for?" - forget_me_not_uwu
"NOR at all. Cut this loser out of all channels of your life."
"I wouldn’t block, though. Just ghost so that he can watch you become happier without him as the ultimate revenge because I’m petty like that, and he clearly deserves it."
"ALSO, if he's as creepy and clingy as he sounds, you can have him muted, so he can see your activity, but you won't have to see his... But you'd have all of his messages as receipts if he ever became threatening or stalkerish for police purposes."
"For more context: My mum started dating my dad (when she was 19, too), who initially tried to go for her older sister (two years older) and got rejected."
"After three years of dating, seven years of engagement, and 20 years of marriage where she put up with an incompetent man-child that wouldn’t do anything for himself and expected her to completely cater to him while he berated her and treated her like s**t..."
"...it ended in him cheating on her with a waitress for over a year and denying it until my mum had literal photographic evidence, to which he had the audacity to respond with the reasoning that she was the reason he was 'driven to cheat' (as if that was even remotely close to the truth and the only option to solve his ‘problems’)."
"Save yourself, girl. This man-child can learn to pine over you and your sister from afar as you both skip into the sunset together, moving on with your lives and into better relationships that fulfill you the way you deserve!" - peachycritter
Some cautioned the OP to also cover her tracks after the breakup, as he sounded worse than "clingy" to them.
"The actual scary part isn't even the sister joke; it's, 'he said he'd never leave me alone if we broke up,' only one month in."
"That line gave me chills, and that alone would have me Googling how to block someone on every platform that exists." - babydoodle91
"Ew. These super clingy guys right out the gate are scary. Please watch your step, and erase your tracks." - Immabirb
"He sounds like a stalker... Drop him now, fast. And block him everywhere." - Admirable_Program720
"NOR, yes, you block him, and you keep him out of your life, and you tell mutual friends that if they try to facilitate contact between you two, you will block them as well. He isn't joking." - JustAsICanBeSoCruel
"I watch way too much crime for this!"
"Girl, block him. Also tell your sister to block him, too; he’s obsessed with her." - MrsRoronoaZoro
"NOR. You're underreacting, honestly."
"He wants your sister, but you're close enough. He's obsessed with her and won't give it up even though he has someone he 'wants to marry.'"
"Also, he's not lying. He probably will stalk you online afterwards; please be careful." - Phoenix-Phire-38
"NOR at all. Your post kept adding on more red flags with each additional sentence. I know you’re young, but he’s toxic, and yes, you will need to block him."
"Breaking up with someone you have strong feelings for is really difficult, so when you leave, you should make sure to lean on friends and family and keep yourself distracted with things you like and find engaging." - query_tech_sec
"The s**t with your sister is nothing compared to the love-bombing and jealousy. This guy is trouble, and scary, and you will have done the right thing when you leave him and maintain the distance between the two of you. NOR." - potatomeeple
After receiving feedback, the OP posted an update, but it seemed to be only the beginning.
"Thank you for making me feel less crazy."
"I blocked him on everything and deactivated my Instagram."
"He DM'ed a girl that I had posted ONCE on my Instagram Stories, asking about me."
"I'm not sure if he's going to keep trying to talk to me, but I hope not."
The subReddit's internal alarm bells were ringing while reading the OP's post, and they hoped that she'd leave her boyfriend in every sense of the word. They already lived long-distance, but she needed to cut him off in every other sense.
Not only was it obvious that he wanted someone else and was with the OP to "make up for it," but his "promises" of not leaving her alone if she ever broke up with him were love-bombing and stalker-like, at best.