Staying with your parents as an adult can be a trying experience.
For many, that challenge must only be faced a few nights a year, on special occasions and holidays.
But some—more than ever during the pandemic—do spend a prolonged period of time at home. Under those circumstances, it’s inevitable that some inter-generational friction arises once in awhile.
One Redditor, who goes by anonhumanontheweb on the site, shared how the latest spat with her parents occurred suddenly, as if out of nowhere. She explained it all in a post to the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP) highlighted the key variables in the post’s title.
“AITA for wearing a bathrobe with nothing underneath in front of my mom?”
OP began by naming the characters and the context.
“My parents are…conservative in the way they expect me [25-year-old female] to dress. They especially care about me covering up my chest.”
“The problem is that I live with them, and recently, that created a conflict.”
Then came the incident.
“The night before last, I went to bed in a pair of long pajama pants and a bathrobe… but I didn’t have anything on underneath the robe.”
“My family didn’t know I didn’t have a shirt on because I made sure to tie the robe tightly before bed.”
“I was awoken by my mom, and in my bleary-eyed state, I didn’t have time to fix my robe by the time she said, ‘Are you NAKED under there?!’ “
Her mom’s outburst led to a confrontation.
“It was clear that she wasn’t pleased that I was wearing nothing underneath my bathrobe, even though I was in my room and had no opportunity to make myself ‘decent” before she came in.”
“I won’t lie — I got angry with her because she came into MY room unannounced and then criticized the way I was dressed (which I would have fixed if I had some forewarning).”
“She got huffy with me in response.”
“But Reddit, AITA for wearing just a bathrobe in my room and rendering my mom in desperate need of eye bleach?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit comment section was a near-unanimous trove of support for OP.
Redditors had some fun with their criticisms of OP’s mother.
“NTA – you are an adult, she should have knocked/called out before coming in, even though it is her house.”
“BTW, don’t tell her that she’s naked under her clothes too.” — MashedCherry
“I’m sure you meant to say “Mother Superior” instead of “mother,” and you’re living in a convent, right?”
“Bless you, Sister. NTA.” — Comfortable_Hotel684
“Why exactly is she in your bedroom waking you up? You’re 25…” — RynnChronicles
Some people offered a more serious analysis of the situation.
“Even the most conservative minded of parents ought be able to recognize — if their values haven’t transferred to their children by age 25, the failure is in their parenting, and not your moral compass.” — Urdrago
“NTA. Your intruder mother is fortunate that you are not sleeping in the nude. What you wear or don’t wear in your room is none of her business.” — wind-river7
NTA- you were in the privacy of your own room, you are allowed to wear what you want.
“NTA this is ridiculous even within the context of a House that is scared of the booby monster, you where alone in your room and sleeping any rules regarding covering up for ‘decency’ are rendered moot because decency would require knocking before entering to avoid accidentally seeing a ankle or some such.” — ShiggnessKhan
Others shared similar experiences of their own.
“I understand the whole ‘my house, my rules’ that your parents might have, because my mom parents are were like that too.”
“I remember once being 19ish and deciding to wear jeans in the summer. I mean it’s hot but I was comfortable. My mother saw me exit my room and tried to force me to take off the jeans and put on shorts because I was making [her] hot by having to look at me.”
“I politely said ‘no thanks, I’m comfortable.’ She tried arguing some more and I was just like ‘Nope, I feel good.’ “
“She and my father then tried the same thing with my 16 year old sister present time when I was visiting, (she was wearing an oversized hoodie in 67 degrees Fahrenheit) and you bet I told them (respectfully) that if she is comfortable and she’s not hiring anyone that they shouldn’t try to force her into something different.” — Hot_Elevator1972
“Nta. Reminds me of my favourite story of my mother. We had these 3 crazy old hippies who came back to town after being away for years, they had gone religious of a sort and were barefoot with these strange white robes made of bed sheets.”
“They were long robes and covered everything.”
“One of them was talking to my mom and leant in and said “we are naked under these you know” and my mom looks at her and leans in and says “I’m naked under these you know” while gesturing to her own clothes!”
“Your mom was naked under whatever she was wearing, we are all naked under what we are wearing! But ya it’s pretty ridiculous to give out to you for what you wear in your own room, especially when she invited herself in.” — whynousernamelef
Others kept their responses short and sweet, but plenty fierce.
“NTA – Everyone is naked under their clothes!” — justme7601
“NTA Parental Boundary Alert” — Mataghu
“NTA You should barge in on her in the shower and act horrified that she’s naked in there” — AmeriMeg
“NTA. Who the fu** enters any adult child’s bedroom without knocking first anyway?” — Critterjitter
“NTA Aren’t… Aren’t you suppose to be naked under a bath robe? I thought that’s how they work?!” — FeztiTheOtter
Unfortunately, it appears OP’s mother isn’t likely to consult the internet and take these criticisms to heart.
Alas, it’s up to OP to find a workaround.