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Teen Vows Never To Speak To Mom Again After Learning She Hid College Acceptance Email

Worried older Woman Checking Mailbox

Just because someone is a parent doesn’t automatically mean they put their kid’s best interest at heart.

Some parents don’t want the best for their kids.

And others think they’re doing what’s best, but then that becomes debatable.

So where does that leave a parent/child relationship?

This is when kids end up having to grow up too fast.

Case in point…

Redditor Immediate_Land_4171 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

“AITA for telling my mom I can up and leave and she’s the worst thing that ever happened to me?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“Ok, so, I’ve had a lot of fights with my mom over the years.”

“I’m 17, I’ll be 18 soon and for me, it’s college time.”

“I’ve been getting into fights with her about college since I was 14 (mainly her telling me I wasn’t going and me telling her I was).”

“It was never a financial thing, but she felt I didn’t have the personality to go to college.”

“We keep having fights about this to this day.”

“Apparently, a little while ago, I got into one of my dream universities.”

“I had been dreaming about this Uni for freaking years.”

“And I got in on a scholarship (not full-ride, but I had a lot of tuition off), and with the amount I was awarded, I could have paid for college myself (housing was free).”

“She hid it from me.”

“I have lost access to my email for a while, so I was relying on using her account to check for responses.”

“But for a while, she wouldn’t let me check, and she just said I didn’t get any responses yet, and I believed her.”

“The other day, she went to the washroom. I got into her phone, and I saw the email.”

“I yelled more than I ever had.”

“I swore at her for the first time in my life, and I told her I’d pay for college myself; she’s the worst thing that ever happened to me, and once I was gone, I would never be speaking to her again.”

“My mom isn’t talking to me anymore.”

“My dad is traveling.”

“My sister is in college.”

“I can’t speak to anyone, but apparently, my mother spoke to her therapist and believed I inflicted trauma by creating words on her purely out of teenage angst.”

“I don’t think it was angst; I genuinely can’t express the anger I feel right now.”

“But I do wanna know if I gave my mom trauma?”

The OP was left to wonder:

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA- I’m a mom myself.”

“She purposefully hid an acceptance letter and lied when she was asked about it.”

“She quite literally could’ve diminished your future success had you not found out about her weird need to keep it from you.”

“Also, I have LARGE doubts that she told the whole truth about that situation in order to garner some sympathy.”

“In no way is it teenage angst.”

“It was quite reasonable to be upset, frustrated, mad, etc.”

“From the fact she blatantly LIED about your dream college.”

“Frankly, if this truly is your reason to cut off ties with your mother, then she can only blame herself for her deceit.”

“Hope you do well in college!!!” ~ KryoChamber

“No way she told the therapist the whole truth.”

“Or your mom just made up the therapist’s response.”

“Someone who would do what she did to you will have no problem lying to manipulate you even further. NTA.” ~ sugarlump858

“If you have a way to open your own email, I would also do this and contact the school.”

“Let them know you plan on attending, and your mom is trying not to let you despite you reaching majority but the time you would be attending.”

“Most schools understand this and will help work with you on a plan of action.”

“You won’t be the first this happens to nor the last.”

“If you get a personal email open, then change all contact preferences to that email.”

“If you have access to a public/school library with email access this would be a great place to do most of your work to set yourself up for school.”

“A personal email will allow you to accept and start the enrolment process.”

“Good luck. Do well in school and prove to anyone who doesn’t believe in you that you CAN succeed and be the best.”

“You’ve got this.” ~ ijustcantwithit

“Hijacking this thread, because you need to know that your mother is abusing you.”

“Sabotaging opportunities that could improve your life is abuse.”

“Controlling and limiting your access to information about your own educational career is abuse.”

“Trying to keep you from making choices about your own life when you’re about to be a legal adult is abuse.”

“I hope when you are able to, you run as fast as you can and don’t look back.”

“And get yourself into therapy with a good, qualified trauma therapist (someone who offers D[ialectical] B[ehavior] T[herapy] and E[ye] M[ovement] D[esensitization] and R[eprocessing] so that you can live the rest of your life without this upbringing affecting it more than it needs to.”

“I’m almost certain that if your mother has done this to you, it isn’t the first or last time she’s been abusive.” ~ redeyesdeaddragon

“She’s 100% lying about what her therapist said.”

“I’ve had people tell me ‘Well my therapist told me…’ in situations where NO ONE must lessen a therapist, would have told them they were in the right.”

“It’s always someone who, like OP’s mom, gets caught doing something bad and has no defense except to make themselves the victim.”

“So they weaponize therapy/therapeutic terms.”

“OP, your anger is righteous.”

“Someone who is supposed to love and support you actively attempted to stop you from living the life you want.”

“As someone whose mom tried to stop me from going to college because I was ‘too immature’ (my mental health was atrocious due to living in active trauma aka her house) you should tell your mother what I told mine.”

“’F you. I’m going to college.'” ~ Uhwhateverokay

“NTA. You seem to have handled the situation pretty maturely so far, and then she went and hid a life-changing email from you.”

“That is something no mother should ever dream of doing.”

“She has not suffered ‘trauma inflicting words’ because of you getting rightfully angry, I promise you that.”

“I don’t know how she was expecting you to react, but you were understandably angry.”

“She owes you a sincere apology.”

“She needs to realize that you are very nearly an adult, and you make your own decisions.” ~ Negative-Muffin-3650

“No NTA at all!!!”

“Your mother had your words of anger and swearing to come to her as she had ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to withhold that email from you.”

“That could even be seen as some sort of abuse or neglect of a child.”

“I’m so glad you have solid plans to go to college or university and that a large portion of it will be paid.”

“Keep reaching for your goals! Good luck!!!” ~ alisonchains2023

“What you said does not cause trauma (even if it did, you were fully justified in saying that).”

“Manipulative and immature people often lie about what their therapist said or distort their words.”

“You are NTA and congratulations on a great accomplishment!!”

“I would try to tread very carefully to make sure your mom can’t somehow prevent your getaway.” ~ Intrepid_Respond_543

“It is not trauma to speak the truth.”

“It’s not trauma to be honestly angry when you are being gaslighted.”

“Your mom is gaslighting you.”

“She is trying to make you think she has trauma from you when it is the other way around.”

“She has caused you trauma by putting you down and telling you can’t make it in college.”

“You had the grades to get into college.”

“You have a scholarship.”

“I don’t know if you have real issues or not that would cause problems in college; if so, check out what help you can get to overcome them in college.”

“I think you will make it. Good luck.” ~ No-You5550

“I am a parent.”

“Your mother may possibly have experienced trauma at some point in her life, but it wasn’t inflicted by you.”

“She’s the adult, you’re the child.”

“The power has all been with her so far. It’s her responsibility to manage her own behavior and emotions.”

“She’s probably lying to the therapist, or maybe she has a bad therapist (it happens sometimes), but nothing excuses her hiding your college acceptance or blaming you for being angry about it.” ~ floofelina

“I’m a mother of a college student.”

“Your mom is acting shamefully.”

“She betrayed your trust and is projecting her own fears and feelings of inadequacy onto you.”

“That’s not a good mother.”

“Now she’s blaming you for trauma?”

“BS Contact the university and explain the situation to see if there’s any way they can work with you on this then move out and go low or no contact with her.”

“She doesn’t want you to succeed, and that’s bad parenting. NTA.” ~ Hot_Box_4574

“You’re worried that you inflicted trauma on your mom?”

“You got into your dream university on a scholarship, but she hid it from you, and you lost your place.”

“She is the one inflicting trauma on YOU.”

“Can you sue her for this?”

“She basically took away a great opportunity for you, one that you applied for and worked hard for.”

“Most parents are into facilitating opportunities for their kids, not into ruining them for them. NTA.” ~ Jocelyn-1973

Well, OP, Reddit is with you. Your future is at stake.

You may have to go no contact with your mother, which is sad.

But you need to put yourself first.

It may be a good idea to get your own therapist as well.

Good luck.