Roommate situations can be fantastic.
Splitting all of the expenses is a great way to stay afloat in this economy.
And lifelong relationships can be made along the way.
However, certain roommate situations can turn into a nightmare.
Some people just don’t know how to be responsible.
Redditor penissukis wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
“AITA for not paying my roommate’s rent anymore, even though she might get evicted?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’m 21 F[emale] and live in Colorado with my roommate (22 F).”
“We were friends before moving in together, which is probably why this whole thing feels so messed up now.”
“A few months after we moved in, she came to me saying she was short on rent because of a paycheck issue.”
“I covered her because I didn’t want us getting in trouble with the landlord, and she promised it wouldn’t happen again.”
“But it did.”
“Multiple times.”
“Over the last 8 months, I’ve helped with her rent or utilities at least five times.”
“She always says she’ll pay me back, but never really does.”
“She now owes me over $1,200.”
“The part that really hurts is that she’s not broke because of some big emergency.”
“She goes out all the time, orders food constantly, shops online, and even went on a concert trip out of state recently.”
“Meanwhile, I work two jobs and barely spend money on myself because I’m trying to stay afloat.”
“Last week, our landlord emailed saying rent was late again and that eviction could be on the table.”
“I asked her about it, and she just said she might be short again and asked if I could cover her for ‘a few days like usual.'”
“I just couldn’t do it anymore. “
“I told her no and that I’m done paying for her mistakes.”
“She completely freaked out and said I’m selfish and that if she ends up homeless, it’ll be my fault.”
“Now she’s telling our friends that I’m basically trying to ruin her life, and some of them actually agree with her, which really sucks.”
“I feel guilty because eviction is serious, and I don’t want that for anyone.”
“But at the same time, I feel drained and used, and that this will never stop if I keep helping.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA for finally saying “no” even if this could get her evicted?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“Group message all the friends with opinions and the housemate.”
“Hi guys, as you know, House Mate is unable to pay her rent on time for the 11th time in a year. I am no longer able to afford to subsidise her, but I’m delighted to see that so many of you have stepped up to support her in these difficult times. Who is going to pay her rent, please? It’s due by tomorrow. Love you all, you’re amazing ❤️!”
“NTA.” ~ NeedForSpeed98
“Make sure they know if they don’t help her, they are selfish, and if she ends up homeless, it’ll be their fault. – NTA.” ~ AmbassadorLaq
“NTA. You’ll never see that 1200 dollars.”
“You are working your @ss off to help her enjoy her life more.”
“She’s not your friend.”
“I don’t know why you shared friends are taking her side, but if they think she should have money that’s never paid back, let them pay it.”
“It may be hard, but over time you’ll be in a better place financially if you just let her do.”
“No one at 21 should be subsidizing a friend.” ~ anditurnedaround
“Givers have to set limits because takers never will.”
“She is a taker and has framed her mind that she is right.”
“Setting a limit is hard because you haven’t done so in the past.”
“Tell your friends exactly what she has done and how much she owes. NTA.” ~ bluepvtstorm
“NTA. She’s not your friend, and she’s bleeding you dry.” ~ KarinSpaink
“DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE EVICTED!”
“You will have a very hard time renting again, and when you do, you will pay a lot more monthly plus higher deposits.”
“Ask the landlord if you can voluntarily leave before eviction and find a place ASAP.”
“Contact a lawyer if necessary (some will give free consultations) to figure out what to do — trust me, in the long run it will be cheaper to pay an attorney now than higher rent for the rest of your life.”
“And I would sue your roommate in small claims court to get your $1,200 back — the friendship is over anyway, and maybe her family will step up rather than her having to go to court.”
“And you sound smart, so never ever help a future roommate with money — it just sets up a scenario where they get in the habit of you rescuing them.”
“I personally never borrow or loan money to friends and family — it always ruins the relationship.” ~ Successful_Voice8542
“NTA – she’s using you like an ATM.”
“Helping only works when ppl try to help themselves, and her profligate spending habits are not helping her out of homelessness.”
“Don’t let her version of the story be the only one out there.”
“Ask your friends who agree with her that if they think you’re being heartless, then why don’t they try covering her rent?” ~ ciaogo
“It will be her fault if she ends up homeless, not yours, as she is the one not paying her rent!”
“She is treating you like you are her personal bank, and she will continue for as long as you let her.”
“As for the friends who agree with her, make sure to thank them for paying her rent for her, because surely that is what they are intending to do.”
“If they say they are not paying for her, please remind them that they are also ruining her life by not paying her rent for her.” ~ Regular_Look_1962
“Assuming you have one lease with both of you on it, and you’re in the US, you’re going to have to pay the full amount of the lease yourself.”
“You are both jointly and severally liable for the amount of the rent.”
“Which means you will BOTH be evicted, not just her.”
“Even if you are paying your half on time every month.”
“You’ll have to pay and sue your roommate in small claims court for her portion that she hasn’t paid.”
“And understand there is a good chance you’ll never collect when you do win in small claims court.” ~ JohnnyC300
“The fact that she said ‘like usual’ means she sees your money as hers.”
“She will not pay you back.”
“People like that never do. “
“If she gets evicted, it’s on her.”
“Her blaming you is a manipulation tactic to make you feel bad and pay for it.”
“NTA.” ~ New-Cut-7702
“NTA. Stop covering for her and enabling her.”
“Pay your part of the rent and be sure to have receipts.”
“As long as you’re both on the lease, you should be okay, because they’ll go after her.”
“This happened to me, and I paid every month, on time.”
“My roommate did not.”
“It was not my problem.” ~ ChicagoWhiteSox35
“NTA. If she’s working her butt on and barely scraping by and can’t afford the element, and you refuse to help, that’s one thing.”
“If she can’t budget her money well, and that’s why she can’t afford rent, that’s different.”
“You’ve floated her for months; it’s time for her to grow up or move out.” ~ Any_Cicada2210
“NTA. This ranks up there with most clear-cut NTAs of all time.”
“Why the hell would her rent be your responsibility?”
“Ask her to add up the cost of all the stupid crap she buys in a month and see if it equals her rent.” ~ jerrrrremy
“NTA. You’re roommates, not in a relationship.”
“Each of you needs to stand on his own two feet.”
“None of you has the right to be supported by the other.”
“You’ve been more lenient to her financially than you should have been, and she has taken advantage of this.”
“No need to feel guilty.”
“I don’t see how people can be your friend if they think that you need to finance part of your roommate’s life.” ~ Heavy-Equipment8389
“NTA. Usually, once you put your foot down and tell someone they’re no longer able to take advantage of you, they freak out and make any consequences of their actions your fault somehow.”
“Unfortunately, this usually only happens once you’ve allowed someone to use you for so long that they become entitled to getting what it is that they want.”
“She knew you would cover her because you’re responsible, which allowed her to live her life however she wanted.”
“That’s not something a good friend does, so I wouldn’t worry about losing a ‘friend’ in her.”
“Also, an eviction on your record could make it much harder for you to find a place to live in the future.”
“She’s quite literally putting your well-being at risk, but I promise you she doesn’t care if the thoughts even crossed her mind.”
“What’s the saying… don’t light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.” ~ littlesubwantstoknow
“NTA, but why the heck would you feel guilty?”
“You would be better served by finding your own place to live.”
“She is NOT your responsibility.”
“She will use you up and move on.”
“Do you really believe she is going to pay you back everything she owes you?”
“Good luck!” ~ Ok_Day_8559
“NTA, except to yourself.”
“Your roommate needs to pay her rent, if she can’t learn that bills come before fun.”
“You will be stuck bailing her out till you move.” ~ Patient_Gas_5245
Reddit is with you, OP.
This person is NOT your friend.
She will never stop taking advantage of you.
Stand firm.
Good Luck.