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Dad Refuses To Buy Teen Son Ineffective $12 Deodorant That ‘Cool’ Boys At His School All Use

Mid section view of a young man spraying deodorant.
Glowimages/GettyImages

The necessities of life seem to be getting more and more expensive. The basics should be cheaper, but the prices keep climbing. And, of course, most growing kids want brand name everything.

But are brand name basics necessary?

And is there an exact price that screams too much?

Redditor Tricky_Can4499 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

He asked:

“AITA for refusing to spend $12 for my son’s deodorant that doesn’t work?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My son is 10 and it became clear this week that he needed to start using deodorant. “

“He was super excited.”

“I use that $3 Arm and Hammer deodorant, which works wonders.”

“Any other deodorant I’ve used didn’t work.”

“I took Brad to the store, and he wanted that Bigfoot deodorant.”

“That stuff was $12 for the same size as my $3 stuff.”

“I decided to be a cool dad and buy him it.”

“All week I’ve been asking him if he’s been using it and even making sure he puts it on.”

“He does, but it’s not strong enough.”

“I told him to use mine, and he didn’t want to, but he didn’t smell.”

“Today, I told him that I was sorry, but he was going to start using the same brand that I use.”

“He said he didn’t like mine and wanted the Bigfoot stuff.”

“I told him no.”

“He said that I just didn’t want to buy it.”

“I said yes it’s expensive and doesn’t even work.”

“The reason why he wants it is because that’s what the cool boys use.”

“I figured that out after I saw them smelling each other’s armpits after school and laughing.”

The OP was left to wonder:

“AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“There are NAH, but I suggest that you take a far more collaborative and flexible approach to the big deodorant question.”

“Tell him that you will not buy the ineffective brand but that you will help him find one that works for him.”

“Set a price range and try to find some travel sizes.”

“Mitchum is usually good for even the stinkiest boys.”

“That Arm and Hammer stuff is kind of gross.” ~ EmceeSuzy

“NAH. The kid wants cool stuff (like Axe was when I was a kid), and you want something that works.”

“Just saying: you do NOT need deodorant at all.”

“Just wash yourself adequately, teach your son the same, and maybe wash your armpits if you don’t shower every day.”

“You’ll maybe smell for a few days because your body gets adjusted to no deodorant, but after that, it’s neutral smells all around.” ~ nebenbaum

“To further add to this, encourage your son to be a ‘trendsetter.’”

“I couldn’t afford the items kids my age were getting, so I always felt left out until my sister gave me a different perspective.”

“She taught me to shop for myself and told me best case scenario, I set the trend.”

“Worst case scenario, maybe some stares or comments, but it was high school, and that’s inevitable in any capacity.”

“If all the cool guys are wearing one scent, try finding one your son regards as better.” ~ Iknowuknowmeknowu

“But you don’t understand! It’s good enough for him, so god dammit, it’s gonna be good enough for his son too, and if he complains, then dad’s gonna give him something else to complain about!”

“In this very specific situation, OP is NTH but much of the way he talks is ringing some alarm bells for me.” ~ YogSoth0th

“It’s one thing to say his choice isn’t working well.”

“It is another to say that his choice not working means by default he needs exactly what you use.”

“There are other brands, and you could let him try a few from the more reasonable price range to see if any work better.”

“He may still be unhappy not using exactly what his friends use but he may be more agreeable to compromise.”

“I feel ESH, but for different reasons, nobody is really all that bad here.” ~ House_of_Owl_and_Cat

“This is a great answer.”

“I’d like to add a suggestion…”

“Does he have an allowance?”

“What if you provide him with basic deodorant, but tell him if he wants something fancier he can buy it with his own allowance.”

“If he doesn’t have an allowance, now might be a good time to start giving him one and let him learn some basic budgeting and saving skills.”

“Even on 5-10 dollars a week he’d be able to save up and support his deodorant habits if he chose, but it would come at the cost of spending it on something else.” ~ Dpan

“That‘s exactly what I thought about; it will leave the option to buy it up to him, so he can‘t be mad at anybody, and he still learns from it because that is money he won’t have available for other things.”

“If he smells bad because the deodorant doesn‘t work for him and he ignored Dad’s advice he will soon enough find out in school.”

“The other kids will let him know, maybe in a way that he doesn‘t like because kids can be cruel but that‘s just something he will have to deal with then.” ~ only_crank

“He needs an antiperspirant.”

“The stuff he wants is a deodorant only.”

“Buy him the body wash in the Bigfoot brand and have him pick out a different antiperspirant.”

“You can even buy him the Bigfoot lotion which he can’t apply for the perfume effect.”

“At the end of the day, you want him to care about hygiene and not stink.”

“This can be accomplished with problem-solving.” ~ Girl_with_no_Swag

“OP this is a great solution.”

“Your kid is in a big social environment all day and is trying to fit in, you want him to smell better, this can fix both.”

“And given that he’s only using the fancy stuff for smell he’ll probably use a lot less at a time so hopefully it isn’t bank-breaking, otherwise allowance money can help him get the next stick.” ~ Elair

“NTA. But maybe let him try out different brands and see (with your help) what works for him?”

“That way, it won’t seem like you’re making the decision for him, which I think is what he’s upset about.”

“I’m not a parent, but I remember being frustrated at that age bc my mom was still picking out clothes and perfume for me when I wanted to pick stuff too.” ~ Mysterious-Stock-948

“I think this is the way.”

“I think Old Spice is now for younger guys and they have great fragrances.”

“Just take him to Target and have him check some brands out.”

“I do think $12 feels like a lot but might be worth it to incentivize him to wear it but no point if it doesn’t work.” ~ Unhappy-Prune-9914

“I don’t see the point in spending 12 bucks on a deodorant that doesn’t work, but let him help pick something else rather than just using yours.”

“There are plenty of cheap deodorants that work fine.”

“I personally use unscented Mitchum because it works well and doesn’t clash with cologne, but Right Guard and Old Spice work well and come in a lot of scents.”

“And they’re cheap.” ~ professorfunkenpunk

“If it’s the brand I think it’s an all-natural deodorant what he needs is an antiperspirant and with him being a teenage boy almost certainly to just clean himself better in the shower.”

“To be fair I actually like this brand of Halloween scents and as a large fat man in Texas heat they hold up pretty well so likely his kid just needs to clean better, rub his pits with alcohol after the shower, use an unscented antiperspirant or something like an alum stick under the squatch deodorant.” ~ StinkyTurd89

“NAH. I would just be like ‘Hey bud adults use deodorant because as we get older we get smelly and sweaty and it’s nice to try to smell good.'”

“‘The deodorant you picked out is really cool, but it just doesn’t work. Let’s go back to the store, and you can try another one.’”

“I think it’s important to let him pick.”

“Especially because deodorant lasts sooo long, what’s the harm if it’s a couple of extra bucks.” ~ gobdude467

“NAH. There are more than two brands.”

“Go back to the store and look for something else to try that he does like.”

“Something that is an antiperspirant deodorant.”

“Most brands I know have multiple scents to choose from as well.”

“When you first start using something it can take a few tries of different brands and scents before you find something you like and works for you.” ~ 2tinymonkeys

“NAH. I’m not sure if he understands you just want him not to stink.”

“The message may have gotten lost between his Bigfoot and your Arm and Hammer.”

“It’s not the brand, it’s the stink!!!”

“Be clear that you don’t want him to be embarrassed by body odor, and let him try a couple of other brands until he finds one that passes the smell test.”

“He can be his own man as long as he smells April fresh.” ~ Aware_Welcome_8866

“So compromise. Let him pick a different brand that isn’t the one you use but is one that will work.”

“Get him the body wash and body spray of the brand he wants to use that didn’t work so he still smells like his friends.”

“He doesn’t want your Arm and Hammer because he views it as an uncool dad brand.”

“Let the kid have some individuality in his choices.”

“He doesn’t need to use exactly what you do.”

“Have him try the newer old spice scents.”

“They work great, aren’t expensive and there are several gift sets right now with shampoo, body wash, body spray, and deodorant.”

“He might also do best with a dry spray deodorant instead of stick kinds.”

“I found that the spray ones worked best for my teen boy’s body odor.” ~ MoulanRougeFae

“Whatever he uses, make sure it’s an antiperspirant and find a scent he’s comfortable with.”

“Problem solved.”

“NAH, but you can’t expect a 10-year-old is going to want the same as you, or that it will be as effective.” ~ Fievel93

“NTA, but explore other deodorants before settling on yours.”

“I myself run extremely hot and I NEED to use deodorant with an antiperspirant or I sweat like a hose.”

“It could just be his body type needing a specific deodorant.” ~ pauldarkandhandsome

“NAH. I really get how it feels not having the same stuff the other kids at school have but you do have the right to economize.”

“I suppose you could set a budget for his personal care stuff, and then he can decide what to get out of that.”

“If he really really wants the expensive deodorant, he can have that, but he’s going to have to compromise somewhere else.” ~ pensivegargoyle

“NAH. He doesn’t want to use the same deodorant you use.”

“You need him to pick something that works better than the ineffective ‘cool’ brand.”

“Take him back to the store and give him choices between options that are more likely to work.” ~ Scrabblement

“NAH- he wants the same one in his locker that the cool kids have.”

“How about you have him take the Bigfoot to his school locker and find an affordable brand for home?”

“It’s deodorant, not a pair of Jordans.” ~ nowaynohowanyway

“NAH and son should try to understand that smelling bad and wearing the ‘cool’ deodorant is worse by far than smelling good with lame deodorant.” ~ Salt_Initiative1551

Growing boys are a load of fun, aren’t they OP?

Reddit agrees with your assessment.

$12 is too much to waste on anything ineffective.  It sounds like a day of smell sampling might be in order. Hopefully, he’ll move on and buy whatever works sooner rather than later.

Most kids do.