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Dad Snaps At Bedridden Pregnant Wife For Interrupting Him With Emergency During Work Call

A pregnant woman lying on a bed, holding her stomach.
NataliaDeriabina/Getty Images

The world would be a much happier place if everyone had complete control of their emotions.

But while we all might be able to put on a good face or take a deep breath and remain calm, no one is capable of hiding or suppressing how they truly feel.

And even the most level-headed people often find their emotions getting the better of them, leading them to say or do something they will come to regret.

Redditor Basurero_moral was doing his best to juggle working, taking care of his household, and caring for his wife in the midst of a high risk pregnancy.

Needless to say, it was steadily proving to me a bit too much for the original poster (OP) to handle.

Eventually culminating in the OP losing his temper at his wife, after she interrupted him at a very inconvenient moment.

Wondering if he was completely out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for telling my wife she’s making my life harder than it needs to be?”

The OP explained why how his bedridden, pregnant wife finally sent him over the edge:

“So here’s the thing, I (30M) and my wife (32F) are expecting our second baby.”

“She’s having a high risk pregnancy so she’s bedridden.”

“She’s been bedridden for 2 months now.”

“I have a remote job with incredibly flexible hours, so I’ve been taking care of my wife, my toddler, the house and my job during this time.”

“Lately, my wife is getting more ‘needy’ she asks for things that are too time consuming or asks me for things that are just distractions like, go to the store for ice cream, change my pillows, go play with the kid like I usually do.”

“I asked her to let me work because lately I hadn’t been filling my 8 hours a day quota because of all the things she asks me to do, plus my job, plus cooking, plus taking care of the kid.”

“Today, I had a meeting.”

“It was important and I asked her to please don’t bother me during the meeting.”

“But somehow, she managed to generate a short circuit that fried the bedroom TV, panicked and made my kid panic and started bleeding from the stress.”

“I had to call the meeting short and got reprimanded at my job.”

“Had to check what else got damaged, calmed down my kid and cleaned up my wife.”

“I’m the sole bread earner at the house and money is tight, I got stressed about losing our main source of income and I snapped at her.”

“I asked her what the hell was her problem and why did she needed to make my life so hard.”

“She started crying and called me an a-hole, then called her parents who came and picked her up calling me an a-hole as well.”

“I understand that pregnancy is hard and high risk pregnancy is harder, but I just asked for 1 hour not to be bothered, was that too much to ask?”

“By the way, if you were wondering what caused the short, she plugged in an electric mosquito swatter and spilled her water while it was turned on.”

“Am I the a**hole?

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell into this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for snapping at his wife.

Many people agreed that it was a stressful situation for everyone.

They agreed that the OP was right to be worried about losing his job but pointed out that his wife was in a vulnerable position as well.


“It’s a very stressful situation for you all.”

“You need help as you can’t afford to lose your job (which probably also includes your insurance).”

“Can anyone provide some assistance or child care while you work?”- Holiday_Trainer_2657


“You’re in an impossible situation.”

“She absolutely cannot be solely responsible for looking after a toddler, for any amount of time, if she’s on bed rest.”

“You absolutely cannot be responsible for a toddler during the 8 hours of work time that you need to put in.”

“This whole situation needs to be reviewed – you need childcare for your working hours.”

“What you are trying to do now is not working and will continue not to work, as it’s impossible and not reasonable to ask of either of you.”- Silly_Hunter_1165

Others completely understood the OP’s frustrations, agreeing that he was much too overextended, with some wondering why the OP’s in-laws weren’t providing more help:


“You can’t be everywhere all at once. If her parents could come over at short notice and take her away, they can pitch in and help out.”

“You need a roster.”

“Explain NICELY why you’re feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.”- greymedusa


“Shes high risk, she’s not stupid and disabled.”

“She should have just chilled out for 1 hour.”

“And ice cream is really not a priority.”

“She’s pregnant, but that doesn’t mean all sh*t goes out the window.”

“If you lose your job, then what?”

“Who’s going to pay for the bills?”

“Your in-laws could have stepped in WAAAAY before this and helped out, but no, they didn’t.”

“They really aren’t in any position to judge you.”

“In fact, why didn’t they offer to help in the first place.”

“This is all just too much for one person to deal with.”

“OP clarified that ‘I yelled at her because she didn’t need to use the swatter, it didn’t need charging, she just was bored and she was poking around the bed what could she do from there’.”

“Wife 100% caused the accident.”

“While OP doesn’t understand that a little spotting is already concerning, neither does the wife because she’s going around doing tasks that don’t need attention, instead of following doctors orders.”- ExpertPaint430

“OP is NTA for struggling.”

“Pregnant women can’t do any heavy lifting, especially with heavy bleeding.”

“Some people in this comment section have no idea how hard it is for OP’s wife in her current condition and just think she can prance around the house collecting ice cream deliveries and changing pillows by herself.”

“Fetal hemoglobin has a different composition to the adult mother’s hemoglobin which allows babies to receive oxygen better than the mother.”

“OP’s wife is breathless, tired and has a baby pushing up against all her organs PLUS she has all of the additional complexities of being high risk.”

“OP is working hard, he just needs some help with his wife and the other child.”

“It’s stressful for them all.”

“Everyone’s pregnancies are different – people can be forgetful or unbalanced or make poor judgements due to hormones, the additional weight and stress.”

“OP’s wife also has the psychological element of seeing lots of blood come from her whilst she’s pregnant – it can be really upsetting (yes, even if women get periods, this type of bleeding has more emotional weight given that she’s carrying a child).”

“Have some empathy for them both.”

“She can’t do as much as some of you are saying.”

“OP needs to find extra help from somewhere – some maternity groups may do house visits for mental health etc., so look into that.”- ichirin-no-hana


“The moment she is preventing him from working, that’s the problem.”

“It’s not like OP is not doing things for her, he also needs to work.”

“He’s the only one bringing in money.”

“If he’s jobless, it’s gonna be more harder.”

“She’s a grown adult.”

“She should be able to at least understand there’s time and place.”- servnc*ntt

“I spent 5 months on ‘don’t let your foot touch the floor’ bedrest; full nonweight-bearing for five whole months and 6 days.”

“There is no excuse for this level of demanding entitled behavior.”

“Cooking a human doesn’t entitle the level of servitude your wife is demanding—nothing does.”

“For contrast, I would text ‘I’m hungry can you please bring me a snack when you can’.”

“He didn’t ask what I wanted but would bring me what he had time for.”

“It was always something I liked.”

“It would be delivered.”

“I’d say ‘thanks’ get a smoochie and he’d go back to work and then I’d find out what my snack was.”

“I didn’t complain about it or ask for edits because he was working.”

“I was just happy I was looked after.”

“If he had time in his day he’d ask for requests.”

“We did this everyday for months without issue with work.”

“I read my husband your post and he said don’t worry you weren’t like that and then I read him the update and he said I would have left you if you’d behaved like that, that shows an incredible lack of appreciation and respect.”

“NTA.”- stonecoldrosehiptea

Everyone has their limits.

With everything the OP is trying to juggle in his life, it would be astonishing if this was the first time he snapped at his wife.

Needless to say, his wife’s emotions are volatile with everything she’s going through.

But maybe a calm night with her parents will help her realize everything her husband also has to deal with and why his temper ended up getting the better of him.

Then, call in some reinforcements to help during important work calls.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.