Buying menstrual products is not embarrassing. It’s completely normal to need them, and we HAVE to stop stigmatizing periods.
Seriously, it’s 2021. Get over it.
Redditor SovietWaffleMkr encountered this very issue with his dad. So he turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
He asked:
“AITA for getting mad when my dad insulted me for buying my girlfriend pads?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained.
“I [17m] was talking to my dad on the phone and I was talking to him about a new game I saw in Walmart and briefly mentioned that I went there to get my girlfriend pads.”
“I thought nothing of it and had no problem with it but he stopped me to ask why I would do that.”
“I got confused and he told me that it’s strange and creepy to other women to see a guy in the feminine hygiene section. I told him that she had asked me to and that I’m pretty sure plenty of other guys do it, too.”
OP wasn’t taking it.
“After that he said a real man wouldn’t do that, and I got pretty frustrated with him.”
“This is what makes me think I may be the asshole, I told him that if he was too weak to go and buy pads he has no right to decide who a man is or isn’t, and I called him an asshole for saying that to me.”
“I was just trying to be a good boyfriend but I don’t know if it comes off as creepy and I don’t think I should’ve escalated it like that.”
“AITA?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA. Women don’t care. No one cares except your dad and he’s being weird.” ~ queenoreo
“Women don’t care in that we’re not worried about it being creepy, but we do care (in a positive way) when an awesome person goes out of their way to pick up supplies for us without making a big deal about it.”
“There are also trans and non-binary folks who might need to buy menstrual supplies, and they have every right to be in the menstrual products aisle!” ~ Impressive-Reindeer1
“I’m a trans man and haven’t menstruated since February 2019 and if I had to get pads or tampons for a friend or family member I’d have to ask them what kind they get bc there’s so many different kinds!”
“Different materials, sizes for flow, and designs for comfort! And the damn prices man.. WHY ARE THEY TAXED?!” ~ dbDarrgen
“Lol… that’s adorable. After we’d been dating a while, my boyfriend (now husband) randomly, completely out of the blue asked me about what feminine products I prefer because it randomly occurred to him he would have no clue what to get me if he ever had to pick them up for me.”
“I didn’t do a very good job explaining and he got really caught up on the “wings” so the next time we were at the store I had to show him the different types of products.” ~ backwoodshippy
Redditors in retail shared their experiences.
“Absolutely! I’ve had a few guys ask me for help finding something for their girlfriend or if someone looks completely lost, I’ll ask if they need assistance. It’s not weird.”
“You’re a great boyfriend.”
“NTA” ~ gayasme
“I had one guy in a store years ago that came up to me and asked for help. He had a folder on his phone of all her fave snacks and the pads/tampons she used so he always knew what to get her plus an extra surprise.”
“He was legit like 19 and it was one of the best things I saw working retail.” ~ coffeehoarder9000
“That reminds me of a time when a young man stopped me in the aisle, getting more and more frustrated at what to buy. His girlfriend sent him to buy pads, only didn’t tell him what kind and, I guess he never realized how many different types there were.”
“He couldn’t get ahold of her to ask either. I tried my best to help narrow it down based on package colors he has seen before. He ended up buying 3 different sizes, one with wings, one without, etc.”
“After thanking me, he left the aisle. I caught up with him again in the pain meds aisle, where he then asked me my advice on which meds were better for cramps.” ~ RealisticSpell1
Other Redditors showed their appreciation for their S.O.
“We had the conversation while dating and it was immediately obvious that my now-husband was much more comfortable on the pad aisle than I was (I can never decide what kind I want based on the price and availability).”
“I never expected to send him to the store for them because I’m really good at having supplies on hand.”
“Well, then I had an early miscarriage and after a very messy trip to the hospital (ultimately unnecessary medically, I was just very ignorant and worried), I sent him to the store because I wanted the big fluffy, extra long supers they’d given me at the hospital instead of my dainty ultrathins (for some reason, the supers felt so much more supportive during my time of need).”
“He was a rockstar despite me sending him to buy the most grandma-esque style of pads in existence.” ~ VoltaicSketchyTeapot
One Redditor even shared their favorite anecdote.
“Anecdote time.”
“Not the same thing, but a similar story.”
“Got my first period during lunch hour before AP physics class (no, not a freaky genius, 12 year old, kind of a late bloomer) I didn’t know what to do. I was sitting in my empty physics classroom crying.”
“Physics teacher (male) appears and finds me there. Coaxing gets him nowhere, obviously. It wasn’t until he said ‘right, let’s go to the office.’ at which point I fess up and kind of explosively say ‘It’s my…. first period!'”
“So at first, he says ‘Which period?’ and then I see his face do these weird, sort of slow motion realization contortions. And then he says ‘Oh… OH! Oh!! Oh gosh. Wow, ok. Uh… Let’s call your parents.'”
“No good, my parents are out of town. My grandmother is watching us kids, and I tell him this. She doesn’t drive (legally blind). I tell him this too.”
“So then he says ‘Hm. Uh.. Ok, I’ll get Mrs. _Blank_ (biology teacher)'”
“Also no good. Turns out Mrs. Blank is out sick.”
“So, this noble dude finally throws in the towel and says ‘We have half an hour before class. I’ll drive you to the pharmacy. It’s ok. This is just part of life.’ Probably convincing himself as much as he is convincing me.”
“And he does. And he takes me straight to the pharmacist, explains the situation, she (thank Christ) helps us get me set up. He says nothing about it after that. On the way back to school, he talks to me about physics as it relates to figure skating (I was a figure skater in high school).”
“And, physics class happens on time. Just like any other day. And he was the same teacher with me after that happened as he was before. We never brought it up again.”
“That dude is a king walking among men.” ~ StGir1
There is nothing shameful about buying menstrual products.