What does one wear to a bridal shower?
Who is to say really?
People’s clothes are their own self expression.
To commenting on them can be dicey.
Case in point…
Redditor Complex-Cup7367 wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for defending my dad’s girlfriend for wearing a bikini to my fiancée’s bridal shower?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My dad has been dating ‘Tiffany’ for a year and a half.”
“She is honestly really annoying. I’m not going to lie.”
“I recently got engaged to my G[irl]F[riend] of 3 years ‘Melissa’ and we are currently wedding planning.”
“Her mom and M[aid] O[f] H[onor] recently threw her a bridal shower.”
“As an olive branch, Tiffany and my mom were invited.”
“For some background Melissa does struggle with insecurities and self esteem.”
“She is also very very into things being picture perfect, which sometimes results in anxiety.”
“She also hates how the women in my family dress.”
“She totally gets it isn’t her business and she would never say anything.”
“But she has confided to me that she hates it.”
“For the bridal shower most of the women wore sundresses.”
“Tiffany wore something which looked to me like a ruffly crop top and a matching skirt.”
“I thought it looked fine.”
“She did mention she was leaving early because she had plans.”
“During the shower Melissa realized that what Tiffany was wearing was actually a bikini, because the skirt was pretty see through and she could make out the bottoms.”
“She asked her, but tried to laugh it off”
“And Tiffany admitted it was a bikini, because she was going out on my dad’s boat after and wouldn’t have time to change.”
“My future M[other] I[n] L[aw[ asked Tiffany if she found it a bit weird.”
“Tiffany said no, she thought it passed as a crop top.”
“Melissa and her bridesmaids went off and talked about it.”
“And Melissa decided that she was offended, but declined her mom’s offer to kick Tiffany out.”
“When Tiffany was leaving she said goodbye and my fiancée said ‘I hope you had fun, and hope you found the attention you were looking for.'”
“I heard this through my mom, sister, and then Melissa.”
“At this point I was sick of hearing about it and I was annoyed because my mom was trying to make it into a much bigger issue and act like I shouldn’t marry Melissa over it.”‘
“Which I promptly shut down.”
“By the time I talked to Melissa she was heated and calling Tiffany an attention wh*re and a show off.”
“She asked if my mom had said anything, because I guess my mom was rolling her eyes at her at the shower.”
“I told her I talked to my mom and told her to shut up.”
“Melissa then asked me if I hated tiffany.”
“I said that I don’t hate her, and then I said to be honest I think her outfit was fine.”
“It just looked like a crop top, and if that ruined the day for Melissa, that is something Melissa needs to work on.”
“That upset Melissa and she feels that I was brushing her feelings aside.”
“She said I should talk to my dad.”
“And I told her I wasn’t going to and that is embarrassing.”
“She stormed off and is now refusing to talk about it.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared our OP WAS the A**hole, but there are many he is NOT.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“YTA. Your dad’s girlfriend wore a bikini to a bridal shower.”
“It doesn’t matter how liberal your views are, unless the host has specified it’s okay, IT’S NOT OKAY.”
“Double YTA if Tiffany knew your Fiancée wouldn’t like it, and did it anyway.” ~ winsluc12
“The NTA are based off the question that was asked.”
“If it was is Tiffany TA, yes 100%.”
“But I agree with OP that it shouldn’t have spoiled the party and isn’t worth making a big deal about, all it did was make Tiffany look trashy.” ~ Scion41790
“I still think OP is the AH since Tiffany was getting all attention at his fiancés bridal shower.”
“And he thought his fiancé was the one in the wrong for being upset about it when all the guests were apparently whispering about it.” ~ Gryffindor4ble
“Since everyone was in a sundress it really is not that far out in my opinion.”
“This was not a semi formal if everyone else was in sundress”
“OP NTA if it bothered Melissa that much she should have let her Mom ask Tiffany to leave.”
“That would have caused a lot less drama.”
“INFO – What is it about the way the women in your family dress that Melissa objects to???” ~ moodyfish7777
“NTA. This is a joke right?”
“First off the outfit in the link is totally acceptable for a shower… it’s the summer and not a wedding.”
“Tiffany said she was going on the boat after.”
“Tiffany was also invited ‘as an olive branch.'”
“Is this bride so entitled she would honestly think someone invited in this manner is going to chose her outfit for the day based on this event?”
“Showers are usually not enjoyable.”
“And the boat was clearly the highlight of the day and going to the shower was to just show face.”
“Melissa needs therapy if she is so easily offended by… nothing.” ~ acetateprophets
“Agreed. OP says his fiancé has some insecurities and by his description of what happened, that appears to be the case.”
“OP’s fiancé needs to work on that for herself.”
“Was it tacky for Tiffany to attend the shower wearing a bikini under her crop top and skirt – kind of.”
“Was it also tacky for Melissa to ask her about it – yep.”
“Was it tacky to go off with others from the shower to gossip about what Tiffany was wearing – yep.”
“If Tiffany actually showed up in just the bikini, it would be completely inappropriate.”
“But she didn’t do that.”
“For Melissa to ask OP to talk to his dad about what dad’s girlfriend wears is completely inappropriate.”
“Hope OP’s fiancé can work on improving her own self-esteem and stop focusing so much on how other women dress.” ~ Tranqup
“Yeah 100% NTA in this situation.”
“No one even noticed it was a bikini and that was underneath her clothes which is no different than wearing a bra in my book.”
“Sounds a lot like an outdoor bridal shower considering the sun dresses and everything and doesn’t sound like people were in suits.”
“Melissa needs to get over herself.”
“Sounds like she was purely seeking to have an issue with this person.” ~ doinggood9
“Kinda shocked at all the NTA votes.”
“A bikini is an inappropriate outfit for a bridal shower unless it was hosted at a beach/pool.”
“Dad’s girlfriend was absolutely showing off, it would have been simple to wear a sundress over the bikini.”
“Your fiancée has every right to be upset at it. YTA.” ~ Certain_Effort598
“This, exactly. Being that underdressed for a formal-ish event is disrespectful to the person being celebrated.”
“This is as ridiculous as if she’d shown up in pajamas.”
“And the not having time to change excuse is blatantly a lie.”
“Throw actual clothing on over the bikini.”
“She’s an adult, she shouldn’t need anyone to tell her to dress herself.”
“She absolutely knows this was inappropriate. YTA.” ~ Forsaken-Pickle5069
“YTA. She could have also changed on the boat.”
“She could have worn a sundress or literally any other piece of clothing over the bikini.”
“Tiffany was showing off.” ~ No-Anything-4440
“YTA. Wearing a bathing suit to a semi formal affair is just rude.”
“If she really didn’t have 2 minutes to change (rolling my eyes here) she could have put on her bathing suit and thrown a dress over it.”
“Easy solution.” ~ BentBent12
“YTA. Wearing a bathing suit of any kind to a bridal shower is an a**hole move.”
“She could have worn a bikini under a dress.” ~ Harry7411
“Exactly ESH!! Swimwear under street clothes, no problem.”
“She wore a see through skirt!!”
“A swimsuit coverup is not an appropriate outfit for a bridal shower unless it was held at a beach or pool.”
“For anyone to think otherwise is ridiculous!!”
“Tiffany needs to have her wedding outfit approved by the bride otherwise who know what she will show up wearing!!” ~ winesis
“Tiffany is the real AH here, and it was foolish of you to defend her attention seeking behavior.”
“It didn’t bother you—great.”
“But you also don’t seem to have a good sense of what is appropriate attire.”
“A crop top to a garden party? Come on!”
“It did upset your fiancée and it’s going to get worse between now and the wedding.”
“Tiffany will likely show up in an inappropriate dress for the wedding.”
“And you and Melissa have to be on the same page on how to preempt and react to this issue when it inevitably happens.”
“Acknowledge that you were dismissive of Melissa’s feelings and then work together on how you can address the situation.”
“YTA (as is Tiffany).” ~ Soiree1999
Well OP… you have quite a situation on your hands.
Reddit seems to be all over the place with feedback, so no definitive answer for you.
It’s going to be a wedding to remember for sure.
Good luck.