We all have a family heirloom or possession that holds immeasurable value.
Most of the time, we always keep these possessions close to us, ensuring that nothing will happen to them, and they remain safe and secure.
Sometimes, however, we might unexpectedly lose track of where we kept or left something that has meaning to us.
In worst-case scenarios, we might even discover that they’re no longer in our possession.
The Roommate of Redditor Temporary-Effect2898 slowly began spending less and less time in their shared apartment.
Eventually, they even stopped paying rent.
Leading the original poster (OP) to make an executive decision regarding their roommate’s possessions.
A decision the OP’s roommate didn’t appreciate one bit.
Worried that they may have been out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for donating my roommate’s family heirloom to goodwill?”
The OP explained why they ended up in hot water with their Roommate:
“I’ve (22, F[emale]) posted here about my roommate (24,F) before.”
“She has always had issues contributing to the household, including buying things like toilet paper, dish soap, laundry detergent, etc.”
“She also rarely does her dishes promptly or takes out the trash or other household chores, and struggles to pay utilities on time.”
“Sometimes I even have to hound her for the rent.”
“I felt bad at first because clearly she wasn’t equipped to live alone but I quickly got frustrated and became short with her.”
“We were friends at first but not so much anymore after I’ve had to put up with her for this long.”
“Our year long lease ended and we have been living month to month since then.”
“Eventually she got a boyfriend.”
“He lives with his parents but that hasn’t stopped her from spending most of her time at their house.”
“I started seeing her less and less.”
“A couple days into May I hadn’t seen her for maybe two weeks.”
“I texted and called her to see when she was going to pay her share of rent (due on the 5th) but she basically ghosted me.”
“I got in contact with her mom and eventually my roommate reached out to say she’s staying with her boyfriend’s family ‘for now’ and doesn’t think she should be expected to pay rent for somewhere she’s not staying.”
“I kindly asked if that meant she would be moving out, but she didn’t respond.”
“I paid rent myself, which was a huge, unexpected expense.”
“After that, I decided I was done.”
“I texted her over the course of May and June, asking her to move her stuff out, but she didn’t respond to me.”
“Her mom kept promising me that her daughter would take care of it, but she never once got back to me.”
“After July started, I recruited a couple of friends to help me pack up the stuff in her room and donated most of it to Goodwill and the Salvation Army.”
“I also asked the landlord to change the locks, which he did.”
“The other evening, she finally showed up and was mad that the locks had been changed.”
“I told her she’s not living here and doesn’t pay rent, so she has no reason to enter the apartment.”
“She got even more upset and said that she was never moving out, she was just staying with him for the time being.”
“She told me the situation didn’t work out, so she planned to come back and live here again.”
“I told her that she was already off the lease, and it’s my rental now.”
“She started crying and said she had nowhere else to go, and I felt really bad.”
“She asked if she could at least get some of her stuff, she needed some clean clothes and a shower.”
“I told her that because she never told me she was coming back or made plans to move her stuff out, I donated everything that was in her room unless it looked precious or expensive and stored the rest in her closet.”
“She completely freaked out and threatened to call the police on me.”
“She was inconsolable.”
“She cried about how I even donated her dead grandmother’s wedding dress, which had been in a special box somewhere in her room.”
“I apologized profusely because I did feel really bad, but it all could have been avoided if she had tried to communicate with me.”
“I told her by July I would start getting rid of things if she didn’t make plans to do it herself.”
“Where I live, a unit is considered abandoned once they vacated and the tenant owes rent.”
“The cost of the items being donated will determine how long I need to store them before getting rid of them.”
“I asked her to make arrangements for her things beginning in early May, which she ignored.”
“I emphasized in June that I would be donating her things by July, which she also ignored.”
“Additionally, her mother was aware the whole time and promised me her daughter would take care of it by June 30th, which she didn’t.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for donating her roommate’s possessions.
Everyone agreed that the OP gave their roommate fair warning, and if these items meant as much to her roommate as she claimed, then she should have taken better care of them and not simply left them behind.
“After reading op’s responses, I see that she did indeed tell her roommate in a text that if she did not hear from her soon, she would start getting rid of her stuff.”
“With that in mind, I really don’t see what more could have been done here.”
“Exactly how much is a person expected to do when the other party simply ghosts them?”
“Really, it’s not fair to continue rewarding such egregious behavior.”
“Op had to pay her share of the rent ffs.”
“Where is the outrage about that?”
“I’d be furious if I had to pay for someone else’s rent.”
“Then she just shows up and expects to be let back in?”
“I wouldn’t even have talked to her until she paid me back for her share of the rent.”
“OP isn’t running a charity house or a storage unit.”
“It’s rent!”
“You signed a legal document!”
“The roommate, in essence, told OP to hell with your money.”
“Well, then to hell with your belongings.”
“That seems eminently fair to me.”
“I don’t bestow kindness on those who treat me like dirt.”
“NTA.”- KathyOverAndOut
“She can’t have it both ways in a month-to-month situation.”
“Not live there so she doesn’t pay rent, but then demand access to her stuff because she lives there without having paid rent/storage fees for those months?”
“Sounds like she was playing house and keen to ignore your Debbie Downer texts about her real-life situation.”
“But this started in May.”
“This is on her.”
“NTA.”- Snackinpenguin
“NTA.”
“Once she skipped out on May rent, and it was clear her intention on not paying her rent was because she was ‘not staying there,’ which makes it clear that she’s no longer your roommate.”
“She now has 30 days from that date to get all her stuff out.”
“You are NOT a storage facility.”
“You gave her 60 days to get her stuff, and she did not.”
“She had 60 days to get her belongings.”
“She expected to lie low, skip out on 3 months’ worth of rent, and just come back like NBD, and we all know she was never going to pay you back for her share of May, June, or July rent.”
“She can kick rocks.”- Fickle-Cabinet3956
“NTA.”
“She literally and legally abandoned her belongings.”
“You got rid of these things that she treated as if she didn’t want to claim them.”
“You are not a free storage facility for anyone.”
“You did nothing wrong and have nothing for which to apologize or feel guilty or responsible.”
“Hope this girl learns from her mistake.”- Expert_Slip7543
“I had a similar thing happen to me, funny enough.”
“Roommate was a severe alcoholic, the worst I’ve ever seen in my life by far.”
‘Like, ‘down multiple 5ths of vodka/tequila in a single sitting and chase it with a couple beers’ alcoholic.”
“He inevitably got behind on rent, and one day he just… vanished.”
“Apparently, he ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, and his parents took him either back to their house or off to some AA/intensive rehab or something, I don’t know.”
“Of course I only found out about all of this long after the fact.”
“For months I heard absolutely f*ck all from anyone, had no idea if he was alive or dead, nothing from him, nothing from his parents, nothing whatsoever.”
“I was doing fine financially at the time so I decided to just eat the full cost of rent rather than roll the dice on another tweaker roommate.”
“Anyways, I patiently held onto his stuff all the way until my lease was up and it was time to move out.”
“Literally the last day of the lease, as I’m doing the final cleanup before I turn in my keys, I finally decided to toss all his crap in a dumpster.”
“Not even an hour after I’m done throwing his stuff out, as I’m loading the last of my things up into my car, he suddenly shows up out of nowhere.”
“After getting over my shock of seeing him, I tell him he’s lucky he showed up when he did because his stuff is still in the dumpster if he wants to go get it.”
“He gets pissed and starts yelling at at me for throwing it out in the first place, like it’s my fault he disappeared for nearly 6 months without a word and waited until the literal last day of my lease to come get his things.”
“Some people are just crazy, entitled, and expect you to bend over backwards for them, and better yet, they think you owe them that kindness without them even having to ask or communicate at all, when they’ve done absolutely nothing for you.”
“NTA.”
“Some people are just wild.”- OS_Apple32
If anything, the OP should consider herself lucky that her possessions ended up being given to charity, rather than simply thrown out onto the street.
Which is exactly where they would have been had the OP’s roommate been dealing with a landlord, and not the OP.
Hopefully, this experience will teach the OP’s roommate that she can’t simply live her life in a way that’s convenient to her.
Based on her behavior, though, one sadly doubts that’s the case…