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Redditor Gives Estranged Parents Wedding Invite With Wrong Info So They Won’t Invite Anyone

An upset older couple
courtneyk/Getty Images

While we can agree that family may always be family by blood, there are some people who believe that family should be forgiven and allowed into our lives no matter what they do.

But realistically, sometimes it’s better to leave the family out of it, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.

Redditor Difficult-Cell-1825 was getting married and had no interest in inviting their estranged family to witness their special day. Weddings are for close loved ones, after all.

But when their parents expressed an interest in attending, the Original Poster (OP) agreed to let them attend the ceremony but not the reception.

They asked the sub:

“AITAH for intentionally giving my parents an invitation with the wrong time and address on it for my wedding?”

The OP was estranged from their family.

“I do not talk much with my parents or my family. We all prefer it that way.”

“There’s a lot of history I will not get into. I especially loathe my uncles and my brothers.”

“I met my wife in nursing school. She is amazing and we are going to have a great life together.”

“I didn’t want to invite my parents, and my wife was cool with that. We paid for everything ourselves so they didn’t really have any say in the matter.”

But there was a hiccup when the OP’s parents found out about the wedding.

“I did inform them that we were getting married. They begged to come. I agreed on the condition that they couldn’t tell anyone else or add to our guest list.”

“But I did not trust them to listen. I assumed they would be late and also would invite more people because ‘what could five more people hurt.'”

“So I had the printers make up a few ‘test prints’ with the wrong place and time. I gave two of these to my parents. I told them we were hosting with an open bar. I reiterated that they were not to tell anyone.”

“I had one of my cousins whom I love and who has gone fully no contact with his family babysit them the day of the wedding. They have a tendency to be late. I had him lie to them and say we were doing the formal photos first so they had to be dressed and ready to go early.”

“He got them to the church on time. The ceremony went well. They did not embarrass themselves by frantically calling everyone they invited.”

Everything went well until it was time for the reception.

“We took our pictures, and they begged me to tell them the actual location of the reception. I said that wasn’t happening. They were welcome to either come as guests or leave.”

“They left. My cousin drove them home. They tried to bribe him to tell them where the reception was. He says he laughed at them.”

“None of those people know how to contact me so there have been no flying monkeys. But my mom and dad are upset because they got a lot of grief from people they told about the wedding.”

“I know it was stupid to even invite them. Please don’t rub it in. It was hard to see them begging and not give in a little.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in:

  • NTA: Not the A**hole
  • YTA: You’re the A**hole
  • ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
  • NAH: No A**holes Here

Some empathized with the OP’s reasons for giving a false invitation.

“OP, you’re NTA. You planned ahead. Planning ahead isn’t revenge; it’s self-preservation. You set boundaries to protect your wedding day from potential chaos, and that’s commendable.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over extending the invitation; you handled it with tact and clarity.” – PrettySofiay

“The OP did really well, I think. He managed to get everything the way he wanted on his wedding day. This was really well organized and thought out.”

“His parents should be grateful they got to see him married, I think. F**k those parents and their craziness. Like what the f**k? Can’t they see they created this situation for themselves?”

“NTA, OP, and good on you! I’m a little in awe of your foresight.” – Itsamemario3007


“My dad had to lie to his own sisters about the time of their mother’s funeral, as they are consistently hours late to any function.”

“He told them it started at 9:00 AM. It actually didn’t start until 10:30 AM. They arrived at 10:00 AM, an HOUR AFTER the time they were told to be there. For their mother’s funeral!”

“Keep in mind we’re Catholic, so it’s not like we could have held up the service for them; the church and the priest have schedules.”

“After my dad passed (yes, we had to lie about his, too), I just stopped inviting them to things. Baby shower from 1:00 to 4:00 PM? They showed up at 3:45 PM and were mad the gifts were opened and the food was gone.”

“Last I heard, most of the family had done the same.” – Utter_cockwomble

“My uncle is chronically late himself, but his ex is even more chronically late AND angry when people don’t wait for her.”

“My family has always done big holidays in the early afternoon, but we also always confirm the time before the holiday.”

“They showed up to Christmas Dinner four hours late. She walked in and said, ‘Wow, you guys waited like pigs,’ and was p**sed no one wanted to eat her trail mix (just Chex mix she added pretzels to).”

“We asked what they had been doing before coming over, and she said watching ‘Family Guy’ reruns. She wasn’t around for the next Christmas, and my uncle kept his mouth shut when he walked in late.” – CaitieBuggs

“Sometimes when famous people want to find out who the mole selling information is in their circle of trust, they’ll plant different information with different people.”

“Because they could come to the reception as guests, I’m not sure why what you did was wrong.”

“Were you thinking they would text the uninvited guests to just show up to the reception when they got there? Still a risk.” – Ipso-Pacto-Facto

Others agreed and placed the fault entirely with the OP’s parents and extended family.

“NTA. They literally proved you right. They can take a hike.” – butterflyprinces872

“Do they not understand how wedding receptions run?”

“As a rule, it’s a seated catered affair and you pay per person (the reason it’s so important to RSVP in time to give the caterers the final numbers).”

“While you might be able to sneak an extra meal for the photographer or a surprise guest, you cannot have numbers arrive unannounced. There would be no seating or food for them.”

“OP, you were clever to anticipate their actions and head things off before they got out of hand.”

“NTA.” – 2dogslife

“I had to read it over twice, but it made sense.”

“The trusted cousin was sent to OP’s parents’ house to ‘babysit’ them and drive them to the wedding. The parents thought the wedding was at 4:00 but the cousin lied and said they were taking pictures first so they had to be ready to get there at 2:00.”

“Parents realized they had been tricked when they arrived ‘early’ not because pictures were being taken beforehand but that the real time of the wedding was at 2:00, not 4:00.”

“They didn’t make a scene and embarrass themselves during the wedding and at the picture-taking. They tried to get OP to tell them where the real reception was being held. He refused and said they could be driven there or go home.”

“They opted to go home and tried to bribe the cousin to say where the reception was, and he just laughed at them.”

“The parents were then fielding calls from those angry relatives who arrived at the reception and no one was there.”

“I think it was hilarious! Best trick ever to catch his parents lying to him.” – Limp_Butterscotch633


“My mother announced to everyone that her ‘school kids’ (she’s a teacher, and I feel bad for her students) were more important than my husband and me, and she didn’t know why she was at our wedding.”

“Then she asked us for a ride to the airport after she finally decided to attend the wedding (the morning after, who the f**k asks someone for a ride at 4:00 AM the day after a WEDDING?).”

“She also proclaimed to everyone in an elevator I was ‘such a b***h, hahaha, can you tell she’s a bride?!'”

“I wish I never invited my parents, who also paid for nothing, not even a wedding gift. Don’t apologize for anything about your own day.” – SoberWriter1024

“You knew what you were doing. Your parents got what they deserved.”

“I was invited to a Thanksgiving dinner years ago. One of the guests was notoriously late. She was two hours late for dinner.”

“I told the host that the way to deal with people like this is to tell them the wrong time, so that when they think they are two hours late, they are actually on time. The other thing for a situation like that would be to eat at the announced time.”

“You did exactly what you needed to do to make the wedding run smoothly, and it did. In the future, I honestly wouldn’t invite them again. They were trying to go against your trust and are now ungrateful that they got an invitation. They don’t deserve another one.” – Whole-Ad-2347

While the OP was stressed about the fake invitation, the subReddit completely understood why they felt the need to create a fake one for their parents. Since the parents were so demanding about knowing the real location of the reception, it was clear that they meant to invite more people, which was directly against the OP’s wishes, making their concerns totally valid.

Written by McKenzie Lynn Tozan

McKenzie Lynn Tozan has been a part of the George Takei family since 2019 when she wrote some of her favorite early pieces: Sesame Street introducing its first character who lived in foster care and Bruce Willis delivering a not-so-Die-Hard opening pitch at a Phillies game. She's gone on to write nearly 3,000 viral and trending stories for George Takei, Comic Sands, Percolately, and ÜberFacts. With an unstoppable love for the written word, she's also an avid reader, poet, and indie novelist.