It’s always a risk to make a joke at someone else’s expense.
When you know the person well enough, it’s understandable to think that you are then entitled to poke fun at parts of their personality because of how well you know them.
After all, it’s only a harmless joke, right?
Well, not always.
More often than not, the people who find themselves the butt of said jokes find them anything but harmless.
Redditor ttmxg was not laughing when her fiancé made fun of her in front of his colleagues.
So much so, that she wasn’t afraid to clap right back at him, something he did not take well at all.
Unsettled by his reaction, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for bragging about me being multilingual when my fiancé made fun of my accent?”
The OP shared how she did not appreciate being made fun of by her fiancé for mispronouncing a word after she went to great lengths to learn his language.
“Sorry English isn’t my first language.”
“So I (26 F[emale]) been with my fiancé (26 M[ale]) for 2 years and six months ago moved to his home country.”
“I stayed at home for three months self learning Swedish and finally now I’m comfortable to speak it around and I understand conversations and stuff.”
“At work everyone speaks English, but now during social gatherings with family and friends I’m trying to be less shy and speak up, even if my Swedish is broken.”
“We were having an after work with my fiancé and his colleagues and I mispronounced a word and he made a joke ‘’she is a work in progress’.”
“Then I made another mistake and he said ‘well, should we switch to English so you won’t keep embarrassing yourself?'”.
“And all his colleagues laughed.”
“I got annoyed an answered in Swedish ‘’Well, when you manage to speak 7 languages like I do you will be allowed to make fun of me, at least I’m trying, now excuse me’.”
“And I left without saying goodbye to anyone, so that’s when I think I was rude and kinda cocky.”
“My fiancé got home saying I humiliated him and made a fool of myself in front of his colleagues.”
“So am I the AH??”
“Should i have played along?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for clapping back at her fiancé.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s fiancé shouldn’t have made such a hurtful joke if he couldn’t handle one himself, and that the OP should be nothing but proud of the fact that she speaks seven languages.
“NTA.”
“He humiliated you, and expected you to sit there and take it?”
“He could have asked if you would be more comfortable if they all switched to English instead of insulting you with the suggestion.”
“So, really, he humiliated himself when his partner wouldn’t accept being treated like a jerk by him.”-animaniactoo.
“NTA, that was really a**holish if him.”-DontNeedThePoints.
“NTA Nobody should be ever made fun of if he/she is trying to learn a new language.”
“Nor should you be feel ashamed to make mistakes whilst speaking that new language.”
“When my wife was learning my language, I was supportive and just corrected her in private.”
“Never did I use her mistakes as possibility to make cheap jokes in social occasions, I mean what kind of an AH does that?!?”-Sgt_Rokka.
“Hey OP, I’m Swedish.”
“My mother is not, so her Swedish isn’t perfect (albeit really good).”
‘I was born and raised here in Stockholm and I know MANY foreigners.”
“I live with one as well.”
“So I know when I’m talking about when I say the following.’
“It’s extremely uncommon for Swedish people to laugh at foreigners who are trying to learn the language.”
“Swedish might seem easy but it’s not.”
“You’re NTA.”
“I would however reconsider your relationship if I were you.”
“Det låter nämligen som att du är tillsammans med ett rövhål :)”
“Hit me up if you’re in Sthlm and want to hang out with more normal, accepting Swedes.’
“I’m a female in my 30s.”-ProgrammerBig6254.
“NTA.”
“As someone who grew up in Sweden, I have the privilege of being able to pronounce certain sounds that doesn’t occur in other languages and that are super hard to learn if you weren’t taught to pronounce them as a kid.”
“I have several friends who’ve lived here for years and they still struggle with pronouncing certain words.”
“It’s Swedish as a language that’s the problem, not you.”
“Kudos for standing up to them!”
“Also, Swedish banking guys in their 20s usually suck, especially those from Stockholm.”
“Based on your comments I can see that you’ve managed to find some real gems!”- -Lunipuni-.
“I am learning my husband’s native language, and I do my best to speak it whenever we’re with his friends and family.”
“They correct me, because I asked them to.”
“They may laugh when I say something unintentionally funny, but they explain the joke.”
“None of them, none, would ever laugh at me for an honest mistake.”
“NTA.”
“Your husband is mad because you called out his cruelty in public.”
“He’s an a**hole, and I’m furious on your behalf.”-tremynci.
“He jokes at your expense, in front of his friends, when you’re clearly making an effort.”
“And you moved to another country for him.”
“NTA.”-SelectionNeither452.
“NTA.”
“Also, I have to warn you about Swedes, and no I am not making this up.”
“They put banana on pizza.”
“You should come to Norway instead.”-quirkyhermit.
“NTA.”
“If he’s that easily humiliated he should be used to it.”-Ribbon-.
“Are those people who laughed at you Swedes?”
“I worked on some projects for our Swedish office and all the people l met were really nice about my language.”
“They teased me a little bit, l’m also a woman working in IT, but in a very sweet and not-offensive way.”
“No one l’ve met in Sweden ever made me feel bad about my basic Swedish.”
“I dońt think it’s in their DNA.”-panlevap.
“I’m sorry but what?”
“You TAUGHT YOURSELF SWEDISH in THREE MONTHS? “
“Unless your native language is Norwegian, that’s an insanely incredibly feat and even if your native language IS Norwegian, it’s pretty damn impressive.”
“NTA.”
“You go girl.”
“You’re a complete linguistic rockstar.”
“Find a man who deserves you and respects you when you try your best to fit in.”
“If you were saying things that were unknowingly embarrassing, he could have easily switched the conversation to English with NO comment whatsoever.”
“Instead he chose to demean you in front of his friends.”
“This is not the sign of a man who respects your work in learning his language IN TWELVE GODDAMN WEEKS.”- hannahmel.
“Yes, you should’ve ‘played along’, but I think you did, just not the way he would’ve liked.”
“If he said it to joke around or lighten the mood, your comments to him were playing along.”
“If he did it to embarrass you then you also played along and gave him an out as to not make it awkward.”
“Because listening to a couple argue or trying to put the other down is never fun.”
“NTA.”
“I do find it a bit odd that he would make fun of your accent though.”
“I’m Norwegian, and I know that other Norwegians and Swedes love to hear that someone learns their language and doesn’t care much about a mispronunciation or saying something wrong.”
“At most one might laugh if the meaning makes it funny.”
“Not that every swede has to be the same of course, but that makes me think he might be self-conscious or jealous of you can speak so many languages.”
“Swedish being the thing he’s ‘better’ than you at.”- haveitgood.
“Another day on AITA, another a**hole fiancé throwing out a parade of red flags.”
“You’re NTA, but I would heavily, heavily consider picturing exactly how happy your future is going to be with a guy who not only seems ungrateful that you’ve made the huge sacrifice of moving to his home country and learning the language, but is actively looking for opportunities to belittle and humiliate you in front of people.”
“Spoiler alert: you’re going to be desperately miserable if you stay with this man.”-elag19.
‘You really speak in 7 languages?!? “
“Wow you must be proud and your fiance too.”
“Instead of shaming you, he should brat about you like:’Hey you know she speaks in 7 languages?’”
“Espero que español sea uno de esos 7 idiomas.”
“Siente orgullosa de tener esos conocimientos y no permitas que él te humille por cometer errores cuando lo mas probable el solo sabe hablar 1 idioma.”
“NTA!”
It is pretty surprising that the OP’s fiancé would get so upset at her for making at his expense immediately after he did the same thing to her.
One can only hope he’ll think a little more carefully next time he makes a joke.