Redditor Stunned After SIL Demands They 'Fix' Errors In Blanket They Crocheted For Her For Free

Gratitude is a very revered expression in life.

People often yearn for it from loved ones.

So it can be heartbreaking when some loved ones rebuke one's efforts instead of showing appreciation.

Gifts given with great care may not always be perfect.

In fact, sometimes the imperfections make them all the more special.

Is that that big of a deal?

Redditor One_Entrepreneur5686 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.

They asked:

"AITA for declining to 'fix' the errors I made in a blanket I crocheted for someone and taking it back instead?"

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

"I made a blanket for my S[ister]-I[n]-L[aw] Amanda."

"I was able to give it to her last weekend."

"She'd asked for it in certain colors."

"I didn't have any other projects on my to-do list, so I was happy to make it for her."

"I had most of the colors already, too, so it worked out."

"When I gave it to her she was excited and she started to look it over, I figured it was to see how it was put together since she doesn't crochet."

"After a little bit, she said that she loved the blanket, BUT she couldn't help but notice some of the little mistakes I'd made along the way."

"I asked her what she meant, and she pointed out some things like I'd accidentally done one row of striping instead of three for one section."

"I'd switched to the wrong color and threw off a 'pattern' at some point, etc."

"She handed it back to me and told me that she loved my progress with it and couldn't wait to see the finished project."

"I told her that it was finished."

"She looked down at it and said that it wasn't done until it was perfect, and I'd made several mistakes that I could easily go back to correct."

"I was honestly dumbfounded by this."

"I hate the way perfectionists try to force their quirk onto others."

"I made this blanket for her for free out of my free time because I love her."

"I told her that."

"She said she knew and she loved me for it but that she wouldn't be able to use it because she wouldn't be able to focus on anything but the mistakes."

"I said whatever and took the blanket back and said that if she didn't want it, I'd keep it."

"She looked surprised and said that she did want it."

"She just wanted my best work and not something half-a**ed."

"I told her that if she thinks me crocheting A WHOLE F**KING BLANKET and making minimal errors is half-a**ing it, I'd rather just keep the blanket."

"She was so upset with me and told me I was acting ridiculous and that it wouldn't take me long to fix it."

"If you know anything about crochet, you know that if I made an error on row 36 of an 1115-row blanket… that's essentially starting over again."

The OP was left to wonder:

"Anyway, I come to you all... LOL. AITA?"

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

• NTA - Not The A**hole
• YTA – You're The A**hole
• NAH – No A**holes Here
• ESH - Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

"You aren't being ridiculous, she definitely was."

"Super NTA."

"What she might be missing is that there is no 'fixing' an error like you described in crochet; you either start over or pull out the stitches back to the point of error to resume from there."

"She couldn't be a gracious recipient of a heartfelt, thoughtful, homemade gift and that shows you something about her."

"If she requires perfection, that's pretty incompatible with 'homemade', not to mention SUPER dismissive and presumptuous of her not to prioritize the hard work and hours that went into making it."

"Given that she's a member of your family and you probably don't want a long-term rift, I would hold my ground but try to diffuse it."

"Just explain, repeatedly if necessary, that it's too bad your gift didn't work out but no hard feelings."

"Do not feel forced to start again or to fix the blanket in any way."

"Try not to create drama or judgment over her for it - believe me, her response to this whole thing stands alone."

"And don't offer to make her anything in the future, that's for sure."

"NTA NTA NTA." ~ owls_and_cardinals

"I am with you 100% until 'no hard feelings.'"

"If what you mean is that OP should drop the issue, not engage, and not speak about the incident, I agree."

"But if you really mean 'no hard feelings' I think that is bad advice."

"It is so important to set standards and to value your own well-being."

"OP should remember that this sister-in-law treated her very badly and she should minimize contact."

"She should not say a word about it, even if her sister-in-law asks why she doesn't see her as often but she should stay away."

"Life is much too short to spend it with unkind, disrespectful people." ~ EmceeSuzy

"If OP wants to cut contact that's her prerogative, but I don't think this is a situation that calls for advising her to cut contact."

"I crochet myself, and it's most likely that the SIL doesn't realize how much time and effort goes into crocheting."

"Criticizing a gift someone made you for free out of the kindness of their heart is an ahole move even if it took 5 seconds for them to make, and the SIL is definitely being entitled, but the solution is simply to not make her more gifts."

"Also communicate to her what the issue is and how hurtful it is for her to act this way."

"This shouldn't be minimized, but it also doesn't call for cutting all contact with her."

"From what OP said in the post they sound pretty close."

"Even when she responded to her SIL she said, 'I love you but...'"

"When you advise people to cut contact over every conflict that comes up in their life, it starts to lose all meaning and nobody takes you seriously."

"Then when there's an actual abusive situation someone is in, if they come here for advice and people tell them to cut contact they just roll their eyes and think it's classic Reddit telling them to cut contact over everything rather than taking it seriously." ~ Zealousideal_Long118

"Agreed, and NTA. This is someone who will not be good with any handmade gift."

"Give her a store-bought blanket."

"Maybe someday when her child makes her something 'unfinished' she can deal with whatever this issue is of hers then, but it's not your problem." ~ gymngdoll

"This answer is pitch-perfect."

"Don't get caught up in a debate about this because it's beneath you."

"It's obvious that SIL is way out of line."

"If she starts in on the 'your best work' crap again, I would very kindly ask her, 'I'm surprised you would say something like that to me. Are you ok?' because that is an unhinged way to speak to an adult."

"Hell, it's messed up to speak to anyone like that about a gift they made you."

"Her behavior is not about the blanket, it's not about you."

"It's about her. NTA." ~ Secure-Flight-291

"NTA. The best part of these kinds of homemade gifts is the imperfections that make them unique and special."

"'Fixing it' would ruin that." ~ Hawaiianstylin808

"I knit. I know an error I made in row 12 isn't fixable unless I undo everything above row 12 and re-knit it; obviously impossible if the work has already been cast off."

"Your next gift to miss has to be perfect."

"It should be a 'How to crochet' book, a couple of different-sized hooks, and a nice selection of yarn. Or maybe you could get an actual kit?"

"Give it to her with great excitement, and gush how much you're looking forward to spending time crocheting with her and how thrilled you'll be when she can match you stitch for stitch."

"Inform her how satisfying it will be for her to crochet her own perfect blanket, to her own standards."

"Lucky Amanda!"

"NTA, and I really admire anyone who can crochet." ~ The_Blonde1

"Perfect!! The best idea so far!!"

"I can crochet like a mad woman, but despite me inheriting my grandmother's knitting needles, I can't knit a straight line to save my life, so I'm envious."

"I read once that some crafters INTENTIONALLY put an error in their work just to make sure to keep it from being 'perfect.'"

"I don't have to do that, as I know there will always be a miscount or something in my work, but it will still look good. lol." ~ WA_State_Buckeye

"I knit and have been told that having a perfect project means the demons get stuck inside and you don't want be-demoned knitwear."

"Having a mistake means they can pass through."

"I don't feel like I have demons lurking around but clearly, that's because I always have at least one mistake in my knitting :P."

"NTA, OP."

"I'd just tell her you didn't see the mistakes as you worked and don't have time to make another one right now." ~ souvenireclipse

"NTA. I crochet my philosophy is I make what I love for who I love... and I don't take requests lol."

"My tags actually say 'made with love and mistakes.'"

"The beauty of something homemade is that it is one of a kind... not made by a machine, so what she sees as 'mistakes' to me make it unique and wonderful."

"Keep it... or gift it to someone who will appreciate it but never make her something again." ~ pudge-thefish

"I knit, (a lot)."

"It's my hobby, and I'm very good."

"In fact, I'm so good I sell my knits on my hobby Etsy shop."

"I knit baby and toddler clothes."

"I could sell them at a premium price as well. (I don't, though)."

"But guess what, I make the odd small and bigger mistakes occasionally."

"I don't know one crafter who doesn't make small or bigger mistakes."

"They are part of the love that goes into each item made."

"Your SIL is full of crap; if you'd crochet me that blanket, all I'd see is the love and care you put into it."

"Keep your lovely blanket for yourself, and tell her to go pound sand."

"NTA by any means." ~ lovinglifeatmyage

"NTA! I'm a knitter as well, and there are some mistakes I fix and some I don't."

"I would never go back and fix anything on a blanket - they're big, and who cares as long as it keeps you warm and cozy?!?"

"It's a design feature at that point."

"That was an amazing gift, and she is a massive a**hole and is not craftworthy."

"I'm so glad you took the blanket back." ~ Becca_Bot_3000

"I just whispered 'What the f**k?' to myself when I read this."

"Jeez, NTA. Who cares that much about something like a blanket being flawless?" ~ notmappedout

"Same! I think I would have just stood there with my mouth open, blinking at her."

"Like you said what…"

"OP is NTA at all."

"Seriously that person would be on my give no f**ks list after that."

"Birthdays etc... get generic gifts from the shops that I got in a sale."

"Like maybe a candle, every year, and not the good kind." ~ SingleMaltLife

"NTA, if SIL wants a 'perfect' crochet blanket she can buy the yarn, crochet hooks, and sit down to learn how to do it herself."

"It's the only way she'll have any appreciation for how much time and effort went into the blanket."

"Don't make anything for her unless you're paid upfront, the maximum wage per hour spent crocheting, plus materials costs." ~ I_wanna_be_anemone

"NTA - as someone who sees patterns excessively and really notices any misfitting elements, it would annoy me greatly if there were glitches in a pattern like that."

"But... I'd never dream of returning a gift that was homemade for me like that, or of trying to force someone to do a load of extra work for something just because I have a quirk."

"I would consider the effort made to give me something beautiful and individual like that to be worth the effort in return for quashing my involuntary irritation at the pattern and learning to genuinely love the item exactly as it is, just the way I love the person that made it." ~ redcore4

"NTA and she's a shi**y friend."

"Lots of my friends are great at crafts."

"I'm right now wearing socks made by a friend who tried out a new way of making the heel which didn't turn out quite perfect."

"Who cares?"

"She took time out of her day to make me a gift and I love those socks."

"On rare occasions, I make things for my friends too, but let's face it: I suck at crafts and everything comes out wonky."

"Not ONCE have any of my friends rejected those presents." ~ Dull-Investigator-17

"NTA. For one thing, she has no clue how long it will take to 'fix' the 'errors.'"

"But the main point is that no reasonable human being criticizes a gift, especially a handmade gift!"

"The only appropriate reaction is 'Oh, my! How beautiful! I can't believe you took so much time over this for me!'" ~ Regular_Boot_3540

"NTA. Your sister-in-law is a wet blanket."

"What a poor attitude after your hours of work!"

"One of the best things about homemade gifts is little quirks like that."

"I hope she doesn't treat your brother like that when he does nice things for her." ~ phoe_nixipixie

"NTA. This is such wildly rude and entitled behavior."

"I would absolutely take the blanket back."

"There is an entire Greek myth about putting small mistakes into fiber work on purpose so as to not upset the goddess Athena like Arachne did, claiming to be perfect got her turned into a spider."

"There is another old European one, about never finishing the last stitch of tapes, in case the subjects come alive."

"You tell this ungrateful creature to stop trying to get you in trouble with crafting deities." ~ brigiliz

"NTA. I've been crocheting for over 20 years."

"If she wanted close to perfect, she needs to pay."

"Quite a bit too."

"And it's fiber art."

"It won't be perfect anyway." ~ uncommonbreeddogmom

"NTA. She sounds like an elementary school teacher trying to deal with an 8-year-old who rushes his homework, not an adult talking to another adult." ~ 0biterdicta

"Wow, she's being so rude."

"To look over the blanket and point out 'mistakes.' So rude."

"NTA at all and I think you handled the conversation very well for what it's worth." ~ AmyEMH

Reddit is on your side, OP.

You took your time and effort to give a gift from the heart.

Your feelings of hurt are valid, and your SIL is out of line.

Enjoy your blanket.