in , ,

Flat-Chested Bride Claps Back At Sister-In-Law For Suggesting She Get Boob Job To Fit Into Dress

A shocked bride reads a message
Ljupco/Getty Images

Words carry immense weight and consequences.

Not all commentary is welcome despite what “good” intentions the person may have.

But also, if you’re giving it, you need to be ready to take it.

Case in point…

Redditor Shesaidhesaid7 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for how I responded when my fiancée’s sister commented on my flatchest?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“To get this out of the way: I’m a flatchested girl.”

“I suffered from health issues and growth problems, so I’m small but I’m proud of myself.”

“My fiancée and I went over to his parent’s house for his niece’s birthday.”

“I wore a sweetheart shape dress and my S[ister] I[n] L[aw] (Mel) who always comments on my chest, saw the dress and went like ‘this dress needs boobs, you ain’t got any.'”

“I ignored her, but then at dinner, she asked if I was planning on getting any plastic surgery before the wedding so that I don’t ‘ruin’ the wedding dress.”

“I found this offensive especially when others were watching. I said nothing, but when we were sitting in the living room later, Mel suddenly started wiping her nose and trying to clear it (it’s stuffed due to cold apparently).”

“She has a large nose, so I smiled and asked ‘do you need help with that? I could get the plunger for you.'”

“She was stunned, and the room got awkward after her husband was laughing.”

“She was fuming and told my fiancée that I stepped out of line and ruined her daughter’s birthday with my words that humiliated her.”

“My fiancée said I shouldn’t have caused a scene after his parents told us to leave.”

“I explained how her comments made me feel, but he said she said it was out of concern, but my comment was out of hate.”

“Now she’s expecting an apology.”

“Did I go too far here?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“Where are you women getting these men that wouldn’t stand up for you against their family bullying?”

“You might want to consider the relationship?”

“NTA, by the way.”

“She deserved every bit that came to her.”

“Your man is an a**hole, though.”

“An apology for what?”  ~ Teresa_Chavez

“Came here to say the same.”

“If someone commented on my partner’s chest offensively like that, I’d roast them to ashes, and finally go N[o] C[ontact] with them.”

“Folks, choose people who love you, respect you, and stand by you when you are wronged.”  ~ 000-Hotaru_Tomoe

“The moment your fiancé didn’t stand up and say, ‘Well maybe next time you’ll think twice about insulting her breast size, Nosezilla!'”

“Was the moment you should have yeeted him through the window and noped right outta there.”

“Still, I believe in redemption.”

“You should make a single apology to her, but only after she makes a separate apology to you for each time she has mocked or insulted your breasts.” ~ Curious-One4595

“The part where her fiancée said Mel’s comments were out of concern made me pause.”

“At that point, I started to wonder, does OP’s fiancée agree with his sister but doesn’t feel like he can say that to OP?”

“Maybe that’s why he’s not defending OP against those remarks.”

“I can’t figure out another reason why he would describe those comments as coming from a place of concern unless he is also somewhat ‘concerned’ about it.”

“NTA! To be clear, I am a proud member of the Itty Bitty Ti**y Committee.”

“If OP’s fiancée agrees with Mel then he is also ridiculous.”

“Unfortunately his wording and failure to defend OP made me think he may feel similarly.”

“He may even have said something about it to Mel/his family, which would be extra gross.”  ~ emilygoldfinch410

“I didn’t get why he said his sister said it out of concern.”

“That makes zero sense to me. Concern for what?”

“How is stating her smaller chest would ruin the wedding something that comes from a loving, caring place?”

“How would having a smaller chest ruin a wedding at all?”

“Fiancée needs to check his own feelings on the matter.”

“And if it bothers him so much that OP has a smaller chest, he needs to grow up and get over it and love her the way she is or if he can’t, leave so she can find someone who will love her the way she should be because she’s perfect as is.” ~ East_Donut2862

“NTA. Love that the SIL’s husband was the only one to laugh.”

“He knows all too well what his wife is like, I bet.”

“‘Concern’ my butt. those comments were rude, unwelcome, and unnecessary.”

“like what, can’t take a joke honey when you seem to find it your place to comment on other’s physical appearance?”  ~ -pixiefyre-

“NTA. Did your fiancée actually say her comments about your chest were ‘out of concern?'”

“I think you should postpone this engagement if that’s how he really feels.”

“Good on you for getting her back because it’s horrible for someone to comment on someone else’s body.” ~ susanbarron33

“If that’s the argument. Then. I mean. OP was also ‘out of concern’ she simply offered a convenient way for Mel to be able to breathe better.”

“What’s more concerning than one’s ability to breathe?”

“For real though. NTA OP. That burn was iconic.” ~ drawohhteb

“I’m walking through all the likely possibilities and either he’s easily duped by people who may scam him out of his life savings because they sounded sincere at the time or he’s harboring these feelings about you too.”

“I gotta say neither is good and you’re in at least a little danger of this man failing you when you’re most vulnerable because he’s not on the same page as you. NTA.”  ~ FerrousFellow

“Do not marry a man who lets his sister treat you like this.”

“Postpone the wedding indefinitely and let your fiancée know he either grows a spine or you are walking. NTA.”  ~ The__Riker__Maneuver

“NTA. Don’t talk sh*t if you don’t wanna get it shoveled back at you.”

“However, if your husband thinks she said it out of ‘concern’ that leads me to believe that he agrees with her about your appearance.”

“That may be your real problem.” ~ Sbob9999

“This right here, OP.”

“Your fiancée’s comment about ‘concern’ means he sees a flat chest as a concern.”

“I wonder if he and his sister have been talking about you getting plastic surgery and trying to break your self-esteem to go along with it.”

“I would rethink this engagement. NTA.”  ~ Specialist_Point1980

“NTA, and your fiancée’s response is what’s more concerning.”

“Commenting on the size of someone’s breasts and suggesting they get enhancement surgery is never acceptable, and it’s ridiculous that he’d say it is out of concern.”

“There’s no way he’s that dense.”  ~ Turbulent-Army2631

“Hell no, you’re NTA.”

“She wants to make inappropriate comments constantly, she can have a taste of her own medicine.”

“She can have an apology once she apologizes to you first.”

“What’s good for the goose, is good for the gander.”  ~ leo-m-s

“Is your fianceé going to get his b*lls surgically reattached before your wedding?”

“Because I guarantee, he isn’t the one holding them.”

“He didn’t say one word to defend you, that should be the only reason you need to put the brakes on your wedding. NTA.”  ~ Limerase

“NTA. You were petty, but it’s a good way for everyone to show their colors.”

“At least HER husband laughed.”

“Yours blamed you while saying nothing when she insulted you because that’s what it is.”

“‘Out of concern’ BULLS**T.”

“Start pointing your husband’s insecurity/default as ‘CONCERN’ for him.”

“Let’s see how would he enjoy that.” ~ RahKiel

“NTA. She deserves some of her own medicine, and it’s not like you went out of your way to dig at her.”

“Also, if your fiancé thinks her comments were not intended to be hurtful he needs a little sit down on your expectations for him to stand up for you.” ~ Ambitious_Link6047

“NTA!! Why doesn’t your fiancé defend you?”

“And next time she starts talking about your boobs ask her if she found her bisexual awakening since she can’t stop staring and talking about your tetas!!!”

“I promise you she won’t bother you again… before anyone comes at me I’m bisexual!!!”  ~ Afloritas199

“NTA, her husband laughed because someone finally gave her a dose of her own medicine and he’s been watching that family enable her hurtful behavior.”

“If your fiancée thinks that she was not being hateful toward you, I would examine that relationship carefully.”

“It doesn’t sound like your well-being will be his top priority when you join that family.”

“At a minimum, you need to communicate expectations and hold him accountable when he doesn’t meet them.”  ~ TinaMonday

“NTA. Ooh she deserved that!”

“The only decent person here besides OP is the brother-in-law.”

“Postpone that wedding cause the future husband there not only didn’t stick up for you 3 times but then informed you that SIL’S comment was out of concern for filling out a bridal bodice!”

“Holy crap so he agrees that there should be concern about no boobs in the dress?!”

“But he’s blind to the fact that besides B[rother] I[n] L[aw], everyone else ganged up to show solidarity behind SIL.”

“This isn’t the husband nor family you want.”  ~ cakes701

Well OP, Reddit sounds like they’re with you.

And seems a little concerned as well.

This is quite a situation.

Good luck with the wedding should you decide to go forward with it.