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Woman Finds Perfect Solution After Friend’s Husband Keeps Trying To Have ‘Alone’ Time With Her

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Telling loved ones the truth about their significant other is never easy.

In fact, it can be one of the most difficult things in the life.

Will they believe you?

Are you reading too much into the situation?

What do you do?

A serious conundrum.

Case in point…

Redditor Thoaway53400943 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for what I did when my friend’s husband wanted us to have dinner ‘alone’ together?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I F[emale] 31, was living in another country for 3 years.”

“I kept in contact with few friends from college including ‘Camila’ F 29.”

“Camila met and got married to her husband ‘Joe’ M[ale] 35 while I was away.”

“I came home a month ago and started hanging out with Camila more than the other friends since we’re close.”

“However, I noticed Joe behaving strangely around me.”

“Constantly complimenting my looks/outfits.”

“And recently he has been trying to get us to have time ‘alone’ together.”

“This gave me weird vibes but I didn’t dare tell Camila since they’re newlyweds (2 months).”

“So what I did was… whenever he runs into me in the mall or the coffeeshop, I’d instantly call Camila and give her my location so she could come.”

“He ran into me in the restaurant last night and sat at my table without even asking if it was okay.”

“I let it slide.”

“He started complimenting my outfit and my nails!!!”

“Then went on about how he’s always wanted us to have ‘alone’ time together so that we could ‘get to know each other welI.'”

“I smiled and immediately texted Camila telling her her husband was with me and asked her to join us for dinner.”

“Joe kept asking me questions and smiling at me evey 3-5 secs until Camila showed up.”

“I saw her, waved and said ‘Oh, what a coincidence! Camila’s here!'”

“Joe’s smile faded and his face turned red.”

“She said hi then sat next to him and he didn’t say anything but stared at me angrily the whole time.”

“They went home after dinner and I stayed longer.”

“Once I got into my car, Joe called me and was annoyed saying I shouldn’t have called Camila when he already stated he wanted us to have dinner alone.”

“He again said that I was being paranoid for no reason because he just wanted to get to know me better as Camila’s friend.”

“But to be completely honest?”

“I didn’t buy into this excuse.”

“He said that he didn’t appreciate how sneaky and dismissive I was towards his wishes and that I hurt his feelings because of what I did.”

“AITA? Am I being unreasonable in not sitting alone with him?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. That was epic.”

“You were ‘sneaky and dismissive’ of his wishes? Give me a break.”

“You might want to talk with her about how he’s behaving, though.”

“He sounds very creepy.”  ~ Arbor_Arabicae

“He is a creepy misogynist.”

“I feel like he is following you to these places – he finds you too frequently!”

“If he keeps being aggressive like this, record him and send it to his wife.”

“You would not be doing her any favors by keeping this secret.” ~ odubik

“My thoughts exactly.”

“In fact I wondered whether at some stage he’s managed to put a tracking app of somehow accessing her location all the time.”

“It’s really weird that he just keeps turning up at the same places.”

“Creepy weird and boarder line STALKERISH BEHAVIOR.”

“I’d be talking to her, and getting my phone checked, and making sure location settings weren’t visible fora while.” ~ Broken_but_fighting

“It also sounds like he is straight up stalking you OP…”

“NTA, but you need to tell your friend about this.” ~ stop_spam_calls

“Mmhm!! OP YTA if you don’t tell your friend what her husband has been up to.”

“She needs to know the truth, so she can make a decision whether or not to continue the marriage.”

“He sounds Dexter scary.”

“NTA for calling your friend when her creepy a** husband stalks you.” ~ Misaki88

“This is classic gaslighting.”

“This guy keeps insisting he just wants to get to know OP as a friend and even accused her of making something out of nothing.”

“These creepy men do this to make women question their own judgment, leading them to ask a whole Reddit community if they’re the a-hole for putting a jerk like this off.”

“Meanwhile, he’s clearly stalking her.”  ~ Subjective-Suspect

“Gaslighting has a bit broader definition.”

“It is manipulation that someone uses to cause self doubt and confusion.”

“Typically to gain power and control, by distorting reality and forcing someone to question their own judgement/intuition.”

“To me, it seems like an incredible coincidence this guy has run into OP so frequently.”

“Her intuition and judgement is screaming to not be alone with this guy.”

‘However he keeps pushing it and trying to convince OP that they innocently just want to get to know OP.”

“And so strange they keep running into each other.”

“He is trying to control and distort how she feels about it.”

“He obviously got angry, changed the way he spoke with her etc as soon as his wife showed up.”

“Then even called to express that anger even more.”

“Apparently it is just a coincidence he ends up near OP frequently, but same coincidence isn’t logical for his wife.”

“He has quite literally caused OP to come to reddit and make sure her judgement and intuition about this dude isn’t off.”

“He is distorting the reality of the situation, manipulating, and causing OP to question their judgement and intuition.”

“Sounds exactly like gaslighting to me.” ~ IndigoTJo

“100% agree OPs friend needs to know.”

“He’s giving off predator vibes.”

“Don’t answer any more calls from him, unless you’re able to record them (regardless of legality, those only come into play if brought before a court).”

“So you’ve proof in case he tries to twist your conversations in any way.”

“And he definitely gives off the vibes that he would.” ~ dude_wheres_the_pie

“It’s why he’s calling and not texting.”

“The man is smart enough not to leave a paper trail.”

“But she can show her that he’s called her on her phone app.”

“Right after they went home.”

“OP needs to jump on this shit because this is the opening to a really gross movie.” ~ DNRmyDNA

“My hometown is a very tiny suburb of a suburb town with a population of less than 1k.”

“It’s common place to run into people you know because everyone knows everyone, and it’s a very small area.”

“I grew up making a 5 minute trip to the grocery store and running into two ex coworkers and my old babysitter in the process.”

“And I would still be alarmed by how often this guy was showing up if I was OP.”

“You don’t run into the same person every time, and not near as often as it seems to happening to OP. “

“There’s both stalker and creepy vibes going on here.”

“And as much as I think the right thing to do would be be bring this info to Camila, I am honestly scared of this guy becoming extremely dangerous if his wife leaves him and he’ll direct that danger at OP.”

“OP you’re NTA at all.”

“And I do think it’s important that you tell your friend about all this so nothing bad happens to her.”

“But I also think it’s important that you’re super careful about this.” ~ deaddlikelatin

“Yep. I have an ex, who lives in an adjacent zip code.”

“Except for large gatherings of a social organization we both belong to (how we met) I haven’t seen them in the ~20 years since we broke up, even though I know – from social media – that we frequented some of the same places for years.”

“Another ex, who I dated even longer ago than that, I’ve run into twice in the 30-ish years since we broke up, I think they live 2 zip codes away.”

“I’ve learned more about them in recent years from their casual long distance relationship partner.”

“Who I see a few times a year and keep in contact with, since we’ve been friends for even longer and have a lot in common.”

“My current partner’s ex lives and works less than a mile from our house; if we go for a walk that’s a little longer than our current norm, in a particular direction, we walk past their house.”

“My partner has not seen their ex since the divorce was finalized 10 years ago (all communication has gone via their lawyers).”

“The fact that Joe keeps ‘coincidentally’ running in to you is statistically very unlikely; best case is that Joe really does tend to go to those places.”

“But maybe goes their more often or during times he thinks OP might be more likely to be there in hopes of seeing her.”

“Worst case is that he actually is stalking her.”

“So, big NTA, and Joe I’d creepy as hell.

“And I’d be seriously considering telling Camilla.” ~ NYCinPGH

OP… Reddit is in your corner.

You may want to have a chat with Camilla.

Joe sounds like he has some issues.

This situation doesn’t appear like it will get better by itself.

Good luck.