Have you ever done something really nice for someone else, only for them to complain that you didn’t do enough?
This woman in the “Am I the A**hole?” subReddit sure did when her friend complained about the streaming service they were sharing.
Redditor wovenvase knew she needed to do something when her friend began to sabotage their viewing experience.
But the Original Poster (OP) at least wanted to check with the sub to see if she was in the wrong.
She asked:
“AITA [for] asking my friend to use generic guest profile on my Netflix?”
The OP gave her friend her Netflix password about a year ago.
“I really think this is ridiculous and absurd, which is why I’m here.”
“I 37([Female]) have a friend who lives frugally. I don’t judge her choices because I think being frugal is better than being a spendthrift.”
“We make around the same salary, [and] we are both married. She has a toddler, I have a three-year-old and two tweens.”
“About a year or so ago, I made a reference to a scene from one of my favorite tv shows on Netflix (black mirror). She said the show sounded interesting and she wanted to watch it.”
“She asked for my Netflix password and I gave it to her and told her that there’s a generic guest profile for her to use (My husband created this profile for his younger brother to use).”
“My husband and I share a profile. The twins each have their own profiles and the toddler uses the kids’ profile with the parental controls.”
Now there seem to be problems.
“The twins have been arguing and accusing each other of messing up their algorithms.”
“I looked at the watch history and noticed a lot of true crime and horror shows and movies. I noticed the same in our profile and my husband confirmed he hasn’t watched those.”
“I suspected My friend has been watching them.”
When the OP mentioned this to her friend, she was dismissive.
“I casually brought it up with her and explained that it’s causing a lot of conflict between the twins.”
“She chuckled and said that she has been choosing random profiles to watch her shows instead of the guest profile. She added that I should create a profile for her and the twins need to learn how to share.”
The OP decided to do something about it.
“I disagreed and told her to please stick to the guest profile. She didn’t listen.”
“So I changed the Netflix password.”
“She called me an a**hole and accused me of not knowing how to share.”
“She said the twins have learned their selfish behavior from me.”
“I’m really p**sed and really want to cut her off completely.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in by voting:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some Redditors thought this was a no-brainer; the OP was NTA.
“NTA.”
“Oh hey you know that one thing you asked when you gave me free access to your streaming service? I decided to completely ignore it because I know better. Also, you need to learn to let me do whatever I want or I’ll try to shame you.”
“Eeeeeeeeesh. I mean it’s a pretty minor thing in and of itself, but geez her attitude.” – TotalMizNomer
“Add personal attacks and insults on OP’s parenting choices.”
“NTA and yeah, totally understandable to cut contact with someone over this.” – doublestitch
“This lady ‘shares’ worse than my toddlers do. So now in order to share I have to give you everything that’s mine, for free, and let you screw up everything I have for myself?” – BootsEX
“It’s not very frugal to take things for granted imo (in my opinion).” – SpazzlyOne
By the way, others asked, who DOES that?
“Also, choosing random profiles every time she watches something? Who does that?”
“She’s going out of her way to screw with the people doing her a favor. And then she has the gall to suggest that OP’s kids need to ‘learn how to share.’ Sounds like only one person here is unclear on the concept.” – Vilnius_Nastavnik
“That choosing random profiles – sounds like she is messing things up on purpose.” – Professional_Duck564
“Yes, initially I thought she might not understand how Netflix suggests shows and might not think it makes any difference, But her response shows more maliciousness than you’d think.” – Tikithing
Some pointed out that this could be viewed as narcissistic behavior.
“That’s narcissistic behavior btw, never admitting any fault of her own, she’s always the victim and everyone else is wrong.” – Fearless-Tonight-583
“How OP maintained a friendship with someone like her without realizing how big of an asshole this friend is really is kind of perplexing. NTA all the same.” – —Parker—
“You know those kids that everyone always let’s have their way to keep peace/shut them up. This is who they grow into. She thought if she messed with all the profiles they would just give her one of her own, instead OP cut her off. Now she says Op is a bad mom when in reality she is a bad friend.” – alady12
“You must share when I tell you to share…. Jigsaw vibes anyone?” – tri220987
And unfortunately, according to this threat, situations like this aren’t rare.
“Surprisingly there are so many people who behave like this, I’ve met a few. My dad and my ex were just like this.” – 90s_B***h
“A family friend asked me for my password and proceeded to share it with 2 other people, I believe her husband and adult daughter.”
“Mind you, I have a ‘one screen’ plan. Whatever, I didn’t really GAF, I rarely use Netflix. Imagine how angry I was one of them upgraded to the two-screen plan because they were stopping each other from watching. It went from $9.99 to 18.99.”
“I canceled my account for the next month. They resubbed. I kicked them all out and got a refund.”
“NTA I hate choosy beggars” – Babybabybabyq
“I canceled my Netflix account I shared with my then bf and my parents. My parents liked to use it all weekend and I had been watching something in the bedroom and my bf at the time was MAD he couldn’t watch something on Netflix that particular hour.”
“There’s more to that… but my parents rarely used it enough to create conflict and he was just mad. We also had access to several other streaming services so it’s not like he had nothing to pick from.”
“We broke up not long after for… a lot of reasons. but, I was just over it. you don’t get to b***h about a service you are getting for free that someone else is covering!!” – to_annihilate
The subReddit seems to be in agreement: don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
The friend really shouldn’t have complained so much when the OP really was just doing a nice thing.