Group vacations always seem like they’re going to be fun in the planning stages.
But when the big trip finally happens, it isn’t always as fun as everyone hopes it will be.
One person may want to waterski while others snorkel, some people are early risers who want to get a head start on the day while others sleep in.
Then there’s the issue of money, and splitting the bills at meals.
This was a problem Redditor yll95 and the group they were vacationing with seemed like they were going to avoid this, as they were staying at an all inclusive resort.
Even so, one of the original poster (OP)’s travel mates still found themselves constantly frustrated by the OP’s actions whenever they left their meals.
Wondering if they had done anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for tipping at a resort?”
The OP explained how their inclination to give a little extra made one of their travel mates a little extra annoyed.
“I went on vacation with my partner (David), his sister (Nina), her boyfriend (Brent), and MIL & FIL (David & Nina’s parents).”
“We went to Mexico for a week at an all-inclusive resort.”
“Worth noting me, David, Nina, and Brent are all in our 20s, all within 2 years of each other so there’s no massive age gap.”
“Everything was going great, until Brent got mad at my partner and was complaining about me tipping the resort staff, particularly after meals.”
“Brent felt I was making them look bad since tipping is built in to the all-inclusive price and they then felt pressured to tip too.”
“Nina (SIL) apparently agreed.”
“I wasn’t making a big deal by handing the cash to the waitstaff or anything, I was just leaving a bill or two on the table when we all left (so the staff wouldn’t even know who left it) without saying anything at all.”
“Also I’m not talking about a 20+$ tip here.”
“It was more in the range of 20-50 Pesos (about $1.5-3.5 CAD) each time.”
“I’m a student, so I don’t have a ton of extra income, but I still recognize that I’m very privileged compared to a lot of people, especially resort staff who rely on tips to supplement low wages.”
“To me, spending an extra <10$ per day in tips over 3 meals and drinks is worth it if it can even somewhat help those who need it more.”
“It’s not like I was asking others to tip too.”
“I was raised in a higher socioeconomic class though by parents who strongly believe in tipping, especially when traveling, so maybe I’m biased and was insensitive to Brent & Nina’s different viewpoints and experiences.”
“So AITA for tipping when it wasn’t required, making my SIL and her bf feel bad?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for leaving extra tips for at their all-inclusive resorts.
Everyone agreed that the OP was not only being generous, but that leaving tips was even expected at all-inclusive resorts, with many otherz agreeing that Brent’s anger stemmed purely from his own insecurity.
“Tipping is the norm at all-inclusive resorts.”
“Sorry they weren’t raised with proper etiquette.”-ClownsAllAroundMe
“Nta, I’m sure the workers don’t see a cent of the ‘tipping fee’.”-Raindripdrop
“NTA, if they need an explanation you can show them this.”
“Honestly with the cash being left on the table they most likely figure the person who appears to be in charge of the group left it.”
“Brent is just being an a** and Nina is going along with him.”
“He knows he’s too cheap to tip and is upset at you for him seeing in himself that he cares too little about humans.”
“I’m sure many people don’t tip at those places but I’m also sure there are others who do.”
“When the workers get the tips from the table I’m sure it brightens their day so I’d keep doing it and ignore Brent and Nina.”
“You can tell them to quit making a big deal about it and agree to disagree.”- married44F
“How was tipping making them look bad.”
“You literally left it at the table, after everyone left.”
“It was not visible either who tipped as well.”
“Furthermore, it was a very small amount.”
“Just a very sweet thank you, from my point of view.”
“This says more something about themselves than about you.”
“I get the feeling that they never thought about it in the way you do and now they feel bad about it.”
“And instead of dealing with their own feelings about this, they find it easier to just blame you and make you feel bad.”
“You are not doing something wrong with leaving a small tip.”
“And neither are they by not leaving a small tip.”- Majestic-Moon-1986
“Unless you’re somewhere like Japan where tipping is genuinely frowned upon by the service staff, there’s no way leaving a little tip makes you an A.H.”
“We have gone to all inclusive resorts in Mexico and always tip like that.”
“These tips are well appreciated, helps a lot of people in need, and you tend to get better service.”
“It might have been nice to give the others a heads up so they could come prepared if they wanted to tip as well.”
“We did that when we brought friends of ours one year.”-Just-Another-Poster
“It’s not like you’re making a huge show of it, and even if you were, still NTA.”
“If you want to tip and have the means to do so even if it isn’t ‘expected’ then go ahead.”
“That is really what tips/gratuities were meant to be originally, and extra thank you if you felt like doing so.”- under_water_79
“Tipping, even at all-inclusive resorts, is never wrong.”
“All an ‘all-inclusive resort’ means is that the resort fees are pre-paid.”
“It doesn’t mean staff/worker tips are pre-paid.”
“The same goes for cruises.”
“You paid for a cruise, but, tipping staff is still expected.”
“They are providing you a service no different than the waiter/waitress at your local diner.”
“You paid for the food, right?”
:”Yet, you still tip the staff for the quality of their service.”
“Staff at resorts/cruises make their money off of tips.”- valeran46
“NTA Even at all inclusive resorts, I think you should tip when someone is providing a direct service to you.”
“Waiting on your table, setting up a beach chair for you, carrying your luggage to your room, etc.”
“Your friends should have been thanking you for leaving a tip for the table.”- morgbak
“We travel to AIs in Mexico and the Caribbean a few times a year and have become friends with some of the staff members.”
“Their salaries are minimal.”
“They absolutely do rely on tips to support their families.”- magstar222
“The employee provided outstanding service and you decided to reward them for a tip.”
“Personally thats what i think tips were for.”
“You weren’t trying to make a spectacle at all.”- Bitbatgaming
“Sad someone would make your tips about them!”
“Break it down this way.”
“You’re hanging with a group of people who are mad at you for being too nice to other human beings.”
“Based on my experience, small tips are fairly normal/common at all inclusive resports.”-nicecream542
“Don’t worry about their own insecurities, though I think it’s more about cheapness on their part.”
“If your tipping made them feel bad, then they would throw a peso or two down as well, but they’re not doing that.”
“You are just fine.”
“You may want to consider not traveling with them in the future, however.”- CheetahMaximum6750
“NTA- it’s not your fault that they feel peer pressure.”- PotterOtterSpotter
“NTA but they are.”- lothlorienlia
“I get what Brent is saying in that you tipping gave him a bit of pressure, that tends to be normal, but it’s not something to get seriously mad over.”
“NTA Workers at AI Resorts rely on tips.”- Ginger3950
“Brent & Nina sound like cheap whiny pissants.”-Valuable-Baked
“NTA, I always tip at all inclusive places.”
“The staff always appreciate seem to appreciate it.”
“You didn’t make a big deal like only you were tipping, so I don’t know what his issue is except he must know he’s cheap.”- BabyDeeBeeDee
“NTA tipping in Mexico is completely normal and staff go over and above to get these tips.”
“It’s absolutely not on the all inclusive package.”- Consistent_Patient88
It’s always sad when the first thing people think when they witness other people’s generosity is that it makes them “look bad”.
Even sadder that Brent felt the appropriate thing to do was to call the OP out, rather than leave something himself.
One can only wonder if the OP and David will ever be inclined to travel with Nina and Brent again.