Some of the best days at work are casual Fridays.
Being able to wear clothes that are comfortable can make life easier at certain jobs.
But rules for one’s attire are regimented for most careers.
Is there a good way to change that rule?
Case in point…
Redditor pen1sewyg wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for ruining jeans for women?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I work at an office where I’m allowed to have a beard and long hair, but my manager is stringent on the ‘no jeans policy.'”
“She frequently ensures that no one is wearing jeans and is wearing professional attire.”
“Problem is, for the past few months that I’ve been here, the women of the office have always worn jeans.”
“Tight, dark, professional-looking jeans, but jeans nonetheless.”
“That is, until a few days ago.”
“I love wearing jeans, and have always felt I could make them professional too.”
“I was complaining about it to a friend and coworker when my manager walked into the staff room.”
“She said something basically confirming her stance on jeans.”
“I said ‘Well, the girls get to wear jeans.'”
“’No they don’t.’”
“Then, my coworker, Amanda walked in wearing jeans.”
“I pointed that out.”
“My manager confronted Amanda, telling her that she wasn’t allowed to wear jeans.”
“In the moment, Amanda appeared playfully mad at me.”
“But I went over to her house last weekend, and she brought up the incident twice, again sort of playfully, but I think she may actually be mad.”
“I apologized, saying I didn’t want to ruin jeans for women but to prove that someone can look professional in jeans.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
“He was complaining to a friend, manager walked in, manager confirms no jeans, he tattles.”
“Arguably he could have just done what others were doing, worn nice dark jeans.”
“And if they looked professional no one would have said anything or even noticed.” ~ bbbrashbash
“Seriously, I thought everyone learned working shi**y uniformed jobs in high school/college that the way to do these things is just to quietly break the rules then pretend you forgot/didn’t realize if you get called out.”
“Then you wait a couple of weeks and slowly start wearing the offending item again once everyone forgets.”
“If you get called out again, that’s when you have to stop.” ~ REDDIT
“Seriously, OP handled this in the dumbest possible way and ruined it for everyone, himself included.” ~ Rozeline
“It is entirely possible to act out of ignorance, stupidity, or error and unintentionally be the a**hole in a given situation as a result.”
“The term a**hole, as it is used in this sub, does not automatically imply malicious intent. It just means that a person was in the wrong in a particular situation.” ~ TheArmchairSkeptic
“If we decide that someone is NTA simply because they were acting out of ignorance instead of malice, then that basically defeats the entire purpose of this sub.”
“People post here specifically because they want to know if their actions and their impact are societally frowned upon.”
“And whether the other party in their story had a valid reason to be upset/annoyed by the OP’s actions.”
“We’re not necessarily here to judge the intent, because the OP always already knows the intent behind their actions.”
“Posts where the OP knowingly acted maliciously are rare.”
“If you knowingly acted like an a**hole, then what’s the point of posting?” ~SaraHuckabeeSandwich
“ESH (grudgingly).”
“You didn’t try to argue that jeans could look professional. You tattled.”
“And technically if it’s against the dress code she shouldn’t be wearing them.”
“So technically she’s in the wrong too.” ~ bbbrashbash
“I’m sensing a whole lot of tattlers in this thread… It’s the classic ‘If I can’t have it, no one can!'”
“Technically it’s a mild ESH but mostly YTA for ruining it for everyone, when you could have just smartened up and tried what the girls were already getting away with.”
“THEN if you were caught, you could have said these are black dress jeans like the girls are wearing.”
“Easier to ask forgiveness than for permission.”
“Even then honestly it still would have been a d**k move to ruin it for others just because you got caught.”
“Also I disagree that the boss wasn’t enforcing the rules equally based on the info given here (like other comments are claiming).”
‘It sounds like they THOUGHT they were, but the boss just wasn’t noticing the girls were sneakily wearing nice jeans.”
“OP was foolish enough to keep pushing it, and I think he explicitly tried to get them taken away from the women when he tattled. YTA.” ~ am_i_man_or_muppet
“YTA. Seems like the policy was more of an ask for forgiveness not permission kind of thing, but instead of just wearing dark, professional jeans and seeing what happened, you kind of threw Amanda under the bus.” ~ REDDIT
“Yeah, if people are quietly breaking a rule and getting away with it by not calling attention to it, it seems pretty obvious that if you want to get away with it, you just quietly break the rule instead of making a stink about it.” ~ TheRalphExpress
“This… also, I’d like to point out how hard it is to find women’s work attire.”
“The sizing of our pants and availability of nice materials is kind of crazy.”
‘That’s the main reason I wear dark jeans from time to time.”
“I really struggle to find dress pants that aren’t saggy as hell on me.” ~reptar-on_ice
“Also, let’s think about what actually gets you better working conditions historically.”
“Has it been running to the boss and begging and then throwing your coworkers under the bus?”
“I don’t remember anyone cheering that slogan as they have gotten raises and better working conditions.”
“The way people have always gotten a better deal from the boss is by working together with their coworkers to act collectively in support of each other.”
“This is a bucket of crabs situation right here.” ~ REDDIT
“Anyone who has the word snitch or snitching and a YTA judgement is clearly under 18.”
“Exposing unfair application of rules isn’t snitching.”
“It is the best way to either have a policy done away with or have equal enforcement.”
“This isn’t high school going under the nose of your boss is not appropriate behavior.” ~ nau5
“This sounds like you’ve never worked in an actual office environment.”
“If you think that the concept of snitching or tattling goes away after high school, you are incredibly sheltered.”
“Real life is not always black and white. Thinking that breaking rules (however harmless) is always bad and should always be punished is a great way to make enemies and make the work environment more hostile than need be.”
“Plus, the way OP went about it by confronting the boss publicly and throwing his coworker under the bus ensured that the dress code was going to be stricter for everyone.”
“Because the boss was probably embarrassed, and now he will never be able to wear jeans like he originally wanted.”
“Plus, he has probably annoyed a lot of people at his office.” ~ LowObjective
“YTA. You saw how the women were getting away with it, you should have bought a pair of dark nice/not jeans-looking jeans and see if you blended in.”
“If you got s**t then maybe you would have been justified, but you just screwed it up for everyone and now they probably all have to go buy new pants.”
“Of course they are peeved.”
“You were acting like a baby, if I can’t have it no one can.” ~ REDDIT
“This!!! That is what is making me mad about all these other comments saying there was a double standard- OP never even tried wearing black jeans himself.”
“If he had worn them and been told off for it, that would have been a problem.”
“He made up a double standard in his head or was simply bothered by women wearing jeans and didn’t actually want to wear them himself, but rather wanted them to stop.” ~ novelnomad
“YTA for not wearing jeans that would fly under the radar and then throwing Amanda under the bus when your boss said something.”
“‘Professional’ jeans are typically darker and are cut like dress pants and I’m willing to bet you rocked up in faded Levi’s and expected it to be cool.” ~ SammySoapsuds
“YTA. Why didn’t you start wearing dark, professional jeans if you wanted to wear jeans so bad?”
“Instead of making it fair for everyone to wear jeans, you took away the jeans for the entire office.”
“The jeans weren’t hurting anyone and the fact that you manager didn’t notice means that they didn’t look unprofessional.”
“Offices usually have the no jeans rule because they don’t want people coming in wearing blue jeans that can be ill fitting, ripped, or too casual looking.” ~ shaylaa30
OP came back with an update…
“Wow, did not expect all of the responses, though I can’t say I’m surprised about the polarization.”
“At work today, it wasn’t bad.”
“Only one other girl spoke to me, and she too was more playfully mad than anything.”
“I do feel bad that I ruined jeans for the women, though perhaps one day I will work in a place where jeans will be permitted for all.”
Well OP, sounds like there may have been a better way to go about getting the results you were hoping for.
Hopefully, your manager can loosen the rules a bit and let everywhere be professional and comfortable, which is the key to good productivity.