Taste in music is subjective.
What might be one person’s auditory paradise might be another’s hell.
Nor is taste in music something all couples have in common.
Indeed, many couples love each other in spite of their wildly different tastes in music.
Redditor EmbarassedChristian was growing increasingly tired of his wife’s admiration for one particular singer.
So much so that on a recent vacation, the original poster (OP) demanded that his wife also take a break from listening to this particular artist.
A request that the OP’s wife did not appreciate one bit.
Wondering if he was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for asking my wife to stop playing Taylor Swift on vacation?”
The OP explained how his attempts to hear Taylor Swift’s music a little less often while he and his wife were on vacation did not go as planned.
“Since January, my wife (25 F[emale]) has played almost nothing but Taylor Swift, daily, on repeat.”
“Averaging about an hour of her music a day.”
“She’s a huge fan; shed many tears when we decided she couldn’t pay $1000 to see the concert.”
“I am not a Swiftie.”
“Not really even a fan at all.”
“I think Taylor needs new subject material.”
“Good songwriter but repetitive and boring to me.”
“Whether we’re in the car, having a game night with neighbors, sitting by the pool, playing cards, or cooking, my wife is playing and singing Swift over a Bluetooth speaker.”
“It started off cute.”
“Then got annoying.”
“Then made me feel like I’m hanging out with a 14-year-old from 2011.”
“I am permanently banned from saying anything negative about Swift.”
“Saying I don’t like her is ‘taking away from her achievement as the first female artist to have such a successful tour.'”
“We are currently in a hotel with 4 family members, about to go on vacation. 9:00am and my wife starts playing to brush her teeth.”
“Nobody else was particularly bothered because they don’t have any context, but I think they were clearly wondering why she was playing it so loud.”
“I asked if we could ‘take a vacation from Swift this week as well.’”
“My wife threw a bit of a fit saying I embarrassed her or implied that she is immature.”
“Her parents are telling me I’m being rude.”
“Asked my wife to step outside to chat, told her I wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings.”
“It didn’t go well, and now I’ve ‘ruined the vacation.’”
“I understand making her feel awkward, and her family not being bothered, but am I an a**hole for being tired of her singing the 10 minute version of ‘All Too Well’?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
While the Reddit community was somewhat divided on whether or not they thought the OP was the a**hole for asking his wife not to play Taylor Swift.
Most people agreed that not only was the OP’s wife being inconsiderate to be blasting music on Bluetooth, as opposed to using headphones, but felt her reaction to the OP’s request was also immature.
“NTA.”
“Major swiftie here, but I don’t subject anyone else to listening to her if they don’t want to.”
“Just because your wife is obsessed doesn’t mean everyone else needs to be.”
“And her reaction was incredibly immature.”- SorrySpell3870
“NTA has she heard of headphones?”- BriefHorror
“No one wants to listen to the same music blaring over and over again.”
“And it’s rude as hell for her to blast her music at 9 am.”
“My brother-in-law has different tastes in music, so we’d switch it up.”
“NTA”- kykiwibear
“Taylor doesn’t even listen to her songs 24 7.”
“NTA.”
“Buy her some earbuds.”- Rcimo4142
“NTA, she sounds obsessive, and it’s annoying to listen to the same artist all the time.”
“Especially if you’re not even a fan.”
“It’s a little inconsiderate on her part it’s gone this far.”- zertz_18
“NTA.”
“You’ve just described my worst nightmare.”
“Tell your wife to quit torturing you and to use headphones.”
“She’s like a child.”- gordo0620
“Huge Taylor Swift fan here, and no, you’re NTA.”
“The issue isn’t Taylor Swift. There isn’t one singular artist that wouldn’t get annoying if it’s all I listened to with my partner for months on end.”
“It’s weird obsessive behavior, and she sounds selfish and weird lol.”
“PS Taylor is incredibly successful and will remain so even if some people don’t like her. What a weird way of weaponizing feminism.”- Medical-Suit7119
“NTA.”
“Other people’s music can be annoying.”
“Hasn’t she heard of earphones?”- Euphoric-Plenty-1603
Others, however, were a bit less sympathetic towards the OP, who felt the way he handled this was condescending to the point of controlling.
“YTA.”
“Wild how the comments are focusing on debating the legitimacy of Swift’s career when the OP described a history of belittling and abusive behavior towards his wife.”
“Diminishing her interest as ‘cute’ then determining it’s worthwhile acknowledging how huge of a fan she is by saying HE decided she couldn’t spend the money to go to the concert because he determined it wasn’t worth it.”
“So toxic and controlling.”
“Then humiliating her in front of family members.”
“He could have spoken to her about introducing other artists to playlists or limiting Swift’s time before the trip when they were one on one, but instead, he chose to belittle and humiliate her.”-CFTwinInOnt
“Regardless of opinions on Swift, 1 hour a day of a particular sort of music is not that much, and if you really want a change, how about positively suggesting something you like rather than just criticizing your wife’s taste.”
“And then to publicly pull her up on your objections to her taste in music in front of family members is just rude and tips this firmly into YTA.”- distraction_pie
“YTA.”
“I think OP could have approached it in a better manner.”
“Women’s tastes in music are very often dismissed, and making light of something important to her in disdain is kinda icky of you.”
“You must have been badmouthing TS a lot if you got ‘permanently’ banned, lol.”
“You could have asked her to restrict her music to herself so as not to disturb others maybe.”
“But you approached it in a pretty icky manner.”
“This is probably a case of how you said it too.”- Sushitoes
“YTA.”
“Don’t you listen to things she doesn’t like?”
“Watch shows she doesn’t like?”
“Play games she doesn’t like?”
“An hour a day while doing stuff around the house isn’t that much.”
“Just ignore it or do something else with headphones in or ask her to wear headphones.”
“There are so many options here. Instead of complaining that you don’t like TS music, propose some solutions and talk about it with your wife instead of trying to shame her into compliance on a family vacation.”- botheorange
“YTA.”
“You said yourself you feel like you’re hanging out with a 14 yo?”
“C’mon dude, you definitely said more than ‘take a vacation from Swift.’”– quantum_dragon
“YTA.”
“You’re not trying to hurt her feelings, but you said she’s a 14-year-old from 2011 (although she was a 14 y.o. in 2011 so good one).”
“You’re controlling, petty, and immature.”
“She can like who she likes.”- SepiaToneHitchhiker
“YTA for trying to imply that Swift’s fans are all 14-year-olds, that’s just immature.”- splendid_idea
“An hour a day is nothing.”
“Go for a walk. Let her blast her music and sing along.”
“We have music on all the time in my household.”
“And while generally we are a heavy metal/rock kinda family, we play other stuff and anything somebody wants they get for at least some of the time.”
“For example if my toddler wants baby shark on repeat for an hour then we live with it.”
“If my five-year-old wants master of puppets on constantly – that’s her time.”
“You have your time with your music or peace and quiet and she gets hers.”
“If music is only on for a few hours and you want peace and quiet for the rest, you are getting the majority of the time.”
“It’s compromise.”
“You don’t get your way all the time, and embarrassing and belittling someone isn’t the way to make them change anyway.”
“YTA.”- Amazingkitty7
It’s easy to grow tired of just about any song that you hear on repeat, even the ones you love.
Making it seem somewhat reasonable for the OP to hope that he could escape from listening to Taylor Swift, as well as his job and home, while on vacation.
Timing is everything, though, and one can’t help but guess that had the OP made this request to his wife ahead of time and not in front of family members, it might have gone over a bit better.
Or that his wife would have been able to “shake it off” with a bit more ease…