It’s second nature for most husbands to be protective of their wives.
But what if there might not be anything to protect them from?
Redditor 3Bambino3 found herself in such a predicament, when she began to feel her husband was being possessive more than he was protective.
But fearing she might not have handled the situation as well as she could have, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA for refusing to report my coworker for sexual harassment despite my husband’s insistence?”
The OP first filled fellow Redditors in on the instance which put her in this awkward situation, as well as the unexpected strain it put on her marriage.
“I work with a guy named Carlos, and he’s just a bit socially awkward.”
“But he’s sweet all things considered.”
“Last week he asked me out on a date and I declined, I told my husband about it when he asked me how my day went that evening.”
“He seemed a little unsettled but didn’t say anything.”
“Fast forward to last Friday, and my co worker was having a birthday party for her son, and I went and brought my husband.”
“Carlos came up to me and told me my dress looked nice, and I thanked him.”
“Husband didn’t say anything then.”
“But once we got into the car he started talking about how he has, ‘a lot of nerve’.”
“And that his, ‘inappropriate behavior is escalating’.”
“I thought he was joking so even though I didn’t find it funny I laughed.”
“But he was serious.”
“I told him it wasn’t a big deal, and after a bit more back and forth we moved past it.”
But the OP revealed this saga had not yet come to an end.
“Until last night when Carlos gave me a ride home after my car wouldn’t start, and my husband wouldn’t pick up his phone.”
“Yes, Carlos offered, but only because Nick wouldn’t pick up.”
“I think the idea of reporting him is ridiculous.”
“But my husband is now saying if I don’t, ‘put a stop to this, he’s (he being Carlos) gonna do the same thing to other girls at work’.
“Idek (I don’t even know) what that is supposed to mean tbh (to be honest).”
“But, AITA for not reporting him?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they felt the OP fell in this particular situation.
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors were in agreement the OP was not the a**hole by declining to report her colleague.
Many felt the OP’s husband was the true a**hole in this situation and his own insecurities only made things worse.
“He asked you out- awkward but you said no and it seems like he’s respecting that overall.”
“You went to a party of his- WITH YOUR HUSBAND- and he complimented your dress.”
“Thats nice, and has NO ROMANTIC CONNOTATION TO IT.”
“You can compliment someone platonically even after asking them out.”
“He gave you a ride home because YOUR HUSBAND WASNT ANSWERING.”
“You aren’t TA, but your husband is.”
“Just because he’s insecure doesn’t mean you should punish someone else.” -Ill-Task276
“You are NTA for not reporting.”
“However, you will be an asshole if report him.”
“From what you said to me it doesn’t sound like Carlos crossed any lines and respected your choice after you said no to him first asking you on a date.”
“Your husband clearly has issues and should go see a therapist to work out his insecurities.”-Boredkitty420
“He asked you out, you said no, he didn’t push (he may not have known you were married from the comment so that’s really not out of line.)”
“He said you had a nice dress.”
“If you reported him for offering you a ride home when you accepted the offer and he didn’t do anything inappropriate, you would be an AH.”
“Your husband doesn’t get to decide what you consider sexual harassment (you’re right this isn’t worth reporting) and he sounds insecure.” -Gigibean3
“Excuse me, but where is the harassment? “
“This guy made a compliment and suddenly he’s the predator waiting to attack some helpless victims!”
“The OP’s husband is awfully insecure and if he continues to insist that Carlos should be reported, he’s definitely TA here.”
“OP is NTA.”- Hopeful_Extension_46
Others made it clear sexual harassment is a serious issue and the OP should be the one who decided whether she felt she was being mistreated or not.
“Your husband doesn’t get to decide for you that you’re being sexually harassed.”
“Your opinion is the only one that matters in this situation.”
“Period.” – NUT-me-SHELL
“If he hadn’t asked you out initially would your husband feel this way? “
“These all seem like things you do for a friend.”
“Ultimately you’re the only one here who can truly decide if you’re being harassed, and it sounds like you don’t feel that way at all (understandably).”-JBagginsKK
There was also a fairly unanimous agreement nothing the OP described even came close to sounding like sexual harassment.
“Husband is overreacting.”
“Nothing Carlos has done could be remotely construed as sexual harassment.”- Historical_Concept_7.
“In this situation it sounds like Carlos is just a bit of a socially awkward guy who likes you.”
“If he’d kept asking you out or made overt sexual advances after you’d said no, then yeah that’s an issue.”
“But I don’t think that asking someone out, getting told no and seemingly accepting it, then just saying you look nice and agreeing to help you get home when you have no other means is a bad thing.”
“I mean if it goes any further then sure but right now I don’t see any reason to think he’s dangerous.”-GodlikePoet
“Nta, I feel like your husband is overreacting.”
“If Carlos asked you out again then that would be sexual harassment.”
“But I’m only going off what I read.”- NegJesus.
Thankfully, it seems the OP is strong minded enough to know when she should be concerned and will no doubt report any behavior from Carlos or anyone which makes her feel uncomfortable.
Here’s hoping the OP and her husband can settle the unfortunate tension this situation has caused.