Cleaning the house can be a difficult chore.
There are just some things nobody wants to clean up.
This can be a bone of contention for couples.
Most of the time, the cleaning can fall harder on one particular partner.
Redditor Green_Contact7989 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for asking my husband to stop peeing in the shower unless he is going to be the one to clean it?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’ve never had a problem keeping my shower clean in my life until I began living with my husband.”
“I always cleaned the shower regularly (1x week) and almost never had to go out of my way to clean the decorative shower curtain other than spring cleaning time.”
“Now that pink bacteria scum loves to live on the base of the shower and even our decorative (outer) shower curtain.”
“I am the one who does all of the laundry and 90% of the household cleaning, and I have asked my husband to stop peeing in the shower because I think it is part of what causes the build-up.”
“We also have a stall shower with a curtain, so I know it’s likely spraying outside of the shower.”
“I don’t think I’d care as much if it was in our shower/tub combo.”
“To be clear, I do not think anything is inherently wrong with peeing in the shower.”
“I’ve just asked my husband politely several times now not to do it unless he wants to be the one to clean up all the pink scum.”
“He gets really defensive every time.”
“I just thought it was a really simple request that would make a difference to me, so why is it such a big deal?”
“So that’s it.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for gatekeeping the shower peeing experience from my husband in our stall shower?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“I use a name-brand bleach spray cleaner directly on the shower curtain liner.”
“Within minutes, the pink has totally disappeared.” ~ kitchengardengal
“The pink mold in your shower is caused by minerals in the water and feeds off of your soap and hygiene products.”
“It’s not caused by urine.”
“Eliminate it with baking soda and vinegar.”
“Facts are important. NAH.” ~ Miserable_Dentist_70
“This, and to add, the pink bacteria is also caused by airborne bacteria, so technically it could be caused by something as simple as the poo particles in the air after flushing the toilet (whether the toilet is closed or not) and not specifically linked to urinating in the shower.”
“Also NAH.” ~ IfIHad19946
“Bleach will kill mold, but in doing so can cause it to spore out, which can then spread it further (and lead to inhalation).”
“Best practice for mold cleaning is to wipe down first (using separate microfibre cloth with simple detergent) and then wipe or spray on a salt-based solution like consortium or borax.”
“Leave to sit for a while then wipe away.”
“Bleach will whiten an area, making it look clean, but doesn’t actually do a great job at stopping it overall.” ~ Extraverb
“I was thinking maybe the simple act of two people showering and creating more humidity through the day might be enough to increase bacteria built up, so perhaps that’s why it became a problem only once they started living together.” ~ RandomStrangerN2
“I was about to say the same thing.”
“Even if the dude stops peeing in the shower, it’s pretty likely that it will need to be cleaned more often just due to the increased use (more humidity and soap build-up, etc).”
“I think OP is having the wrong conversation to be honest.”
“If he has just moved in, he also needs to be contributing equally to the household chores considering the workload is now for two people instead of one.” ~ the_artful_breeder
“NAH- most people pee in the shower.”
“Not a big deal.”
“The mold isn’t necessarily caused by the pee.”
“You do the majority of the cleaning and the least he could do is make you happy by doing this one thing.”
“If the mold persists, you know it’s not the pee, and he can return to peeing in the shower.”
“However, I would be prepared for him to pee in the sink.”
“For some reason, that seems to be a common alternative here on Reddit.”
“Also, I really hope he pitches in his fair share in other ways since you’re doing all the cleaning.” ~ BluePopple
“It’s absolutely 100% not caused by pee.”
“If he has mold in his pee, there is way more to worry about than the shower.” ~ Mundane-Currency5088
“Do most people actually pee in the shower?”
“I have never once done this or thought of it as an option, and the only person I’ve known who admitted to doing this was my friend’s terrible abusive ex (not to say people who pee in the shower are abusive, but perhaps his general crassness is related to why he thought it was an ok thing to bring up in polite society).”
“It’s so easy to just pee in the toilet before or after.”
“That being said, I highly doubt it’s causing the mold.”
“Why would anyone ever pee in a sink??” ~ hackberrypie
“Wait. Why do you do 90% of the cleaning?”
“Is he a quadriplegic?”
“He should be able to clean the shower even if he pees or doesn’t pee in it.”
“You are not the maid.” ~ RudeWish11
“It’s not the pee causing the pink slime.”
“It’s mildew from bacteria and mold.”
“Urine is mostly sterile and does not contain bacteria or mold unless you have a raging urinary tract infection.”
“There’s nothing wrong with peeing in the shower, it’s conserving water, and it goes to the same f**king place.”
“It’s highly unlikely he’s peeing on the shower curtain and causing this, he’s likely peeing straight down.”
“Edit: from a 40F daily shower pee-er.”
“It’s also likely that it’s because the shower never gets a chance to dry out with multiple people using it rather than just yourself.” ~ RichInternational838
“NTA. The peeing in the shower isn’t the issue here (and it won’t be the cause of the grime in the shower).”
“The issue is the fact that you are doing almost all of the cleaning and that he is getting defensive about a simple request to do a minimal amount of cleaning up after himself.” ~ LibelleFairy
“NAH. Your husband’s urine is not causing the pink buildup in your shower.”
“Regardless, he should split the cleaning duties with you including cleaning the bathroom.” ~ Used_Mark_7911
“NTA. Since you’re the person performing the majority of the household labor you should be able to set reasonable boundaries about what you consider acceptable use of the areas you clean.” ~ Moemito
“Peeing in the shower doesn’t cause the pink buildup.”
“If that was the case, I’d have to be peeing in my bathroom sink, kitchen sink, and humidifier.”
“That said, it would be nice if he cleaned the shower, too.” ~ WatercoLorCurtain
“NTA. The number of people here acting like peeing in the shower is normal is absolutely horrifying.”
“I’m a guy. “
“I have never once even wanted to pee in the shower, let alone actually done so.”
“Y’all are disgusting.” ~ KieselguhrKid13
“You’re not an AH but maybe a tiny bit for coming up with your own conclusions instead of just googling ‘shower curtain pink mold.’”
“A very quick search would tell you what causes it and how to remedy it, and you could have simply joked that it was his fault because it started around the time he moved in and it could’ve been a cute bit between you two.”
“You had no concrete evidence whatsoever and simply chose to blame your husband.”
“Strange behavior. Do your research first next time and you can avoid issues like this.”
“Timing doesn’t equal fault.”
“Correlation, not causation.”
“Also maybe revisit the division of household labor.”
“Maybe I’m reading between the lines too much but you don’t sound super stoked about your current agreement (and who would blame you?)” ~ Former-Finish4653
“NTA. Peeing in the shower is gross, it splashes everywhere.”
“I dye my hair and can see where the water goes in my shower, it doesn’t all wash down perfectly unless you make an effort.”
“No judgment if you pee in the shower, but you have to be the one to clean it.” ~ SlowMope
“NAH. The pee isn’t causing it.”
“There’s already a pool of water across the entire floor when that stream hits the drain, any pee that splashes up and towards the curtain is… being pelted by about 500x the amount of water to send it down the drain.” ~ WasteNet2532
“NTA. You have to be an AH to pee in the shower.”
“It’s where we go to get clean, he shouldn’t treat it like a toilet.”
“Have him pee before getting in the shower like an adult.”
“Peeing in the shower is literally a toddler behavior that he never grew out of.” ~ Calm_Psychology5879
“NTA. He should be cleaning the shower if he wants to pee in it.”
“But pink scum from peeing in the shower? “
“I don’t get it.” ~ Kris82868
“NTA. Peeing in the shower is gross, whether it causes pink mold or not.”
“Why should you be forced to stand in your husband’s urinal to take a shower?”
“Contrary to what another poster says, ‘most people’ do NOT pee in their shower.” ~ huggie1
“NTA. He needs to either stop peeing in the shower or clean the shower because he is making it extra dirty.”
“The same goes for guys who miss the toilet and pee on the floor regularly.”
“His pee goes outside a toilet, he cleans it.” ~ Unreasonable-Skirt
“NTA. He’s a grown man, he can help clean.” ~ L00king4AMindAtWork
OP came back with an Update…
“Thanks to everyone who has chimed in!”
“My husband and I have had the best time going through this thread 😂 Reddit never ceases to amaze me.”
“My husband says that he would rather stop peeing in the shower than be the one to clean it.”
“So take that for what it is worth.”
“If nothing else, he is going to stop so that we can see if it contributes to the film— although we both know now that it is probably just poor ventilation or our hygiene products.”
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
It’s nice to hear that you and your husband can get a laugh out of this situation.
Hopefully, the “experiment” will give you a definite answer.
Happy showering.