People generally started off using social media platforms as a way to share updates and photos with family and friends.
But the wide-reaching internet unfortunately has given way to nefarious activity that makes some people apprehensive about how they engage on various platforms without shutting out close friends and family.
One woman didn’t realize a family member was going to turn on her in this regard, and an ensuing confrontation led her to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.
There, Redditor Open-Theme4890 asked:
“Me and my sister had an argument surrounding my daughter.”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My sister (24) is an Instagram influencer with around 8 thousand followers. She posts days in the life and food reviews.”
“When I had my baby girl, I told the family that I planned on posting no photos of her on my Facebook or social media besides one private Instagram account.”
“My entire family follows this Instagram account, and I use it to update on stuff I’m doing and to post photos of my daughter without strangers having access to the photos.”
The OP continued:
“My sister did a ‘day in the life’ video with our family and posted multiple shots of my daughter in her togs and eating ice cream. One of the clips is of my daughter with ice cream running down her face.”
“I asked my sister to remove the clips of my daughter or just delete the video and she has refused. She has always said my rules around my daughter are stupid, and she plans on doing the exact opposite when she eventually has kids.”
The OP was then forced to give an ultimatum.
“Due to this, I’ve told her she can’t come around until she apologizes and deletes the clips.”
“Mum thinks I’m overreacting but I don’t understand why she needed to film my daughter when I’ve made it clear that I don’t want my daughter filmed. If you cut out my daughter’s clips the video wouldn’t change.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.
“Your sister is not your daughter’s parent, and she has no right to overrule your decisions regarding your daughter’s safety. Try reporting the post to see if you can have it removed by the platform.” – miyuki_m
“Instagram doesn’t care about your child’s safety. Start commenting on your sister’s posts with your child and let her ‘followers’ know that she didn’t have permission to post pictures of your child and ask them to help by hiding the image from their feed and not sharing it.” – EDJardin
“Any party that you and your sister will both be at, make sure you have all the Disney music on your phone. Anytime she tries to video your daughter, start playing the music. Disney has a lot of power in getting things immediately taken down when they violate their copyrights.”
“I know of one girl who did that to her brother, who loved to do prank videos on her. Her parents got mad at her because her brother couldn’t upload his prank videos on her because of the Disney music. ( He was monetized, and his parents liked the money.)” – Old-Mention9632
“Your sister is being incredibly disrespectful. She knew your rules and deliberately ignored them. This isn’t about ‘overreacting’; it’s about protecting your child.”
“Your daughter’s safety and privacy are paramount. Don’t back down. If your sister wants a relationship with you and her niece, she needs to respect your boundaries. Good for you for standing your ground. Don’t let her guilt you into changing your mind.” – TwinklingBerryWhispe
“NTA there are so many creeps on the internet. but IFFF she does get back into your life. Put your kid in a sweater that says I don’t consent to my image being used. I heard of a teen of an influencer doing this cos the mom couldn’t use the image. Also wearing trademarked stuff- not sure if 8k is enough for that to matter tho.” – Artistic-Emotion-623
“No, Mama you are NTA. Your sister is an entitled brat who feels like it’s ok to use anyone and everyone for her influencing. This is in fact not true. You set a boundary and she stomped all over it for total strangers to appreciate her. I would report the video and remove her from the following on your private account.”
“If she still refuses, go Mama bear and make a VERY public post regarding her posting inappropriate and unauthorized photos of your child online. Then tag her so all her ‘followers’ know what kind of person she truly is. If that doesn’t get her to take the clips out, that’s on her I suppose.”
“What it will accomplish is hopefully shaming her into doing what you asked. After that, it’s up to you to decide if you want to continue a relationship with someone who so blatantly disrespected you. And again, not just because she likes family videos. Because she thinks she’s a big internet star and this will get her more attention.” – EfficientSociety73
“You’re protecting your daughter. Your sister is using your daughter’s pictures to gain followers and likes. She does not get to dictate the rules you have regarding your child’s on-line presence (or lack of). Her refusal to remove those images is completely unacceptable.”
“Maybe you should report her for using your child’s pictures without your permission if she won’t back off and respect your boundaries. If she has children of her own, she can decide who gets access to any pictures of her kids. Just like you get to decide for your kids. “ – Ratchet_gurl24
“No pictures of children on the internet until they are old enough to give informed consent! Full stop. Nothing, absolutely nothing on the internet is private. Not even privacy settings on any social media platform. Personally I would be uncomfortable with any pictures of my child/grandchild anywhere on line.” – Daffodil-Days-7030
“Continue to report it. Also I would literallly keep her from being around my child until she shows me that she will respect my boundaries about my own child. It doesn’t matter if she agrees with you or not. It’s respect.”
“You are the mother, you made your wishes known, they are not respecting your wishes. Just stop going to family functions. And then you can send this when they want to know why:”
“I can’t trust any of you to respect our boundaries regarding public photos of our child. I tried to speak to you about it, and you dismissed us and completely disrepected our boundaries. So, since I can’t trust any of you or feel safe, we will not be letting any of you be a part of (child)’s life.”
“We are not going to allow anyone, family or not, disobey our direct instructions about our own child. You don’t have to agree with us, I don’t care if you think we’re ridiculous, but you do 100% DO NEED to respect OUR decisions about our own minor child.”
“Since sister will obviously post without our permission and will refuse to take photos down, and since the rest of the family is supportive of that, you guys are no longer a safe space for our child. You will not be seeing us come around anymore.” – T00narmy1
Overall, Redditors supported the OP’s decision to ban her sister from visiting, and they encouraged her to report her sister for the breach of trust if she continues to disregard the request to take down the images.
The OP was encouraged to prioritize the safety of her daughter, and they validated her instincts to act accordingly.