There are few things more agonizing than home repairs.
Particularly if these repairs are owing to damage from one of your neighbors.
As very few people are open to accepting responsibility in cases like these, potentially leading to some tense exchanges.
Not to mention awkward encounters with people you share a street with.
Redditor Evillawyer2010 was dismayed to learn that their home was damaged during a storm.
Even more so when they learned that this damage was primarily caused by a piece of property belonging to their neighbors.
While the original poster (OP)'s neighbors made every effort to deflect responsibility, the OP felt a need to make it clear that they were not someone their neighbors would want to mess with.
Having some doubt about how they handled things, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for asking my neighbor to pay for damages his trampoline caused?"
The OP explained why they found themselves compelled to confront their neighbor:
"Today around 5pm I got text messages from our great nextdoor neighbor who said that a trampoline came flying in a storm and damaged our fence/barn behind our house."
"I accessed our security system via my cell phone and found out the trampoline came from the neighbors across the street (NAS)."
"We are not friends with NAS but up to this point have had no problems with them."
"I inspected the damage, our fence was destroyed, almost knocked flat."
"The trampoline hit the barn so hard it dented the metal walls and broke two panels on the garage door."
"There were all sorts of other minor scraping along the sides of the barn."
"As I was surveiling the damage, the husband NAS came walking up the driveway."
"He did not appear concerned and more annoyed than anything."
"I held our broken gate open for him to enter the yard and look at the damage with me."
"After reviewing the damage together he asked me what I wanted to do about the damages."
"I was still a little shocked and said well your trampoline caused the damages, you are responsible."
"I'm guessing the damages between 5-10 thousand dollars."
"The fence was decorative aluminum to appear like wrought iron and the damaged section was 4-5 panels and cost us approximately 4 grand three years ago."
"The garage door was insulated was around 3 grand two years ago."
"I have no idea how to estimate the cost to repair the dented, scraped, and damage metal walls of the barn which again is only 2 years old."
"NAS said well it's all damage to your property you should put all the damage through your insurance."
"I was again shocked and incredulous at the audacity of this person."
"I told him, I'm an attorney (I actually am in my state)."
"Your failure to secure the trampoline caused it to fly into my yard and destroy my fence and damage my barn."
"I'm not putting a claim on my insurance (I don't want my premiums to increase)."
"I have great insurance and an umbrella due to the ponds on the property, and have a separate rider for the barn just to be safe."
"Due to my profession I made sure I have great insurance."
"I told him I can either get quotes to fix the damage that you can pay or you can make a claim against your homeowners insurance."
"He said 'Well I'm not paying cash and not making a claim against my insurance'."
"'This was an act of God'."
"I said to him, 'ok, I'm sorry you see it that way'."
"'My firm sues around 200 cases per week' (not a brag, a fact)."
"'Suing one more next week will not be difficult'."
"That is when NAS finally agreed to put his homeowners on notice and exchanged his phone number with me."
"Several colleges and my mentor said he probably never put the trampoline on his insurance and an unreported trampoline can lead to cancelation of NAS homeowners insurance."
"AITA for insisting NAS pay for the damage caused by their trampoline flying onto my property, one way or the other?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for demanding their NAS pay for their property damage.
Most agreed that the OP was valid in feeling that since their NAS's trampoline caused the damage, they were responsible... even though a few wondered if each of their insurance agencies would see it that way. Others wondered if it was necessary to flaunt the fact that they were a lawyer:
"NTA."
"As it only makes sense that they should take responsibility when their property causes damages to your own."
"However what gets me, is you write you're an attorney OP, so why are you even posting here about this situation as I feel like you of all people should know regardless of if you look like the AH or not, your property is your property and if someone else damages it then it's hell and high water (or trampolines)."
"I say this in a joking manner: in my opinion and hypothetically asking, aren't all attorneys by law YTA /j joking please don't sue me."
"Though seriously you did remind me my trampoline isn't fully secure as I took the bricks off during the winter for other projects."- LucasoftheNorthStar
"NTA."
"I live in Japan, and during typhoon season, we make sure we flip our trampoline and put sand bags on it."
"Gotta do what you gotta do."- Dramatic-Education32
"NTA, and according to anecdotal reports from friends who've had trampolines, the info that unreported trampolines can invalidate NAS's homeowners insurance is accurate."
"Even properly secured trampolines can pull loose in high winds."
"One of my coworkers had multiple anchors for his trampoline - those auger things that screw into the ground - and it still ripped them out of the ground and went flying twice."
"So not only was the trampoline a hazard, it had big metal clubs hanging off of it as it flew through the air :-)."
"Based on his comments regarding insurance trampolines are up there with pools on the list of things that expose you to increased liability as a homeowner."- RainbowCrane
"NTA."
"If it was minimal damage, I'd say let it go."
"But this is ridiculous - NAS needs to pay."- Savings-Breath-9118
"You can file a claim against his homeowners insurance."
"There is some liability there if he failed to properly secure the trampoline."
"Although you'll probably have to file under your own, and they will subrogate."
"It's odd though a few years back most places I knew were threatening non renewal if the insured had trampolines on site just for the injury aspect."
"NTA either way."
"I hate trampolines as a claims adjuster."
"They're just a mess waiting to happen."- Bearsandgravy
"NTA."
"Who doesn't secure a trampoline when it gets windy?"
"If it goes flying off and breaks stuff, then that's on the owner of the trampoline, not the person on the receiving end of it."
"But isn't this exactly what you pay insurance for?"
"They should be the ones chasing him for the money, not you."
"Your insurance premiums shouldn't go up because they aren't the ones paying out but he (or his insurance) will be."- sjw_7
"NTA."
"We had a neighbor that never secured their trampoline and every storm it was in our yard."
"I was so angry."
"We luckily did not have damage."
"They would not even come get it."
"We had to drag it back most times."
"I would do the same thing as you."
"A small tornado just went through/by our neighborhood and the same thing happened and one hit someone's house."
"I am not sure the damage but I heard about it on the neighborhood page."
"Not securing those is very dangerous."- Pomegranate_1328
There were a few, however, who had trouble sympathizing with either the OP or their NAS, agreeing that the NAS needed to accept some responsibility, but the OP had a rather skewed view of the law, particularly for a lawyer:
"ESH."
"OP sounds like an a** for pulling the 'I'm a lawyer' routine."
"OP, being a lawyer, presumably would understand that he needs to report it to his insurer in any event to preserve his right to indemnity if neighbor skips out."
"The insurance company would pursue the claim against the neighbor/neighbor's insurer in any event, so premium bumps are far from certain."- Kiss_the_Girl
It's never particularly attractive when someone flaunts their status, especially if it's done as a way of getting what they want.
However, as the OP's NAS was refusing to take any responsibility, despite the fact that it was their trampoline that caused the damage, perhaps flaunting their status was necessary.
Even if the insurance companies will ultimately be the ones deciding who is at fault.
Something one would think the OP, being a lawyer, would realize...
















New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts
There's nothing quite like the feeling of going through all the work to prepare a fun celebration, just for someone to undo it with an unkind or gross comment.
That feeling just gets worse when it's your birthday, and that comment was made by someone who's supposed to care about you, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Rude-Pepper-2389 had recently given birth and decided to have a special birthday celebration to reconnect with her loved ones after becoming a mom.
When her father-in-law stopped by unexpectedly and then made comments about her body, the Original Poster (OP) was left so uncomfortable that it ruined the whole celebration for her.
She asked the sub:
The OP wanted to have a special birthday celebration after her baby was born.
"I currently have a five-month-old and haven’t really been taking care of myself or dressing up since having the baby."
"It’s my (25 Female) birthday, and we were having friends over at our house for a private dinner to celebrate."
"My husband (24 Male) and I have been together since we were 18."
"I decided to put on this new silk shirt I got, which, admittedly, was low-cut, but I felt cute in it and felt comfortable around the friends we were having over."
Everything was fine until the OP's father-in-law (FIL) stopped by unexpectedly.
"My husband's dad decided to stop by on his way home from work."
"I will say, he was likely drunk. He works two hours away and proudly told my husband he's down to only four beers on his drive home each day... so, that's healthy."
"When he came in, I was on the couch with my baby propped up beside me, bottle feeding him. Keep in mind, I am not breastfeeding, so no, my breasts are not any larger right now."
"My husband's dad leaned down to look at the baby and then suddenly shouted, 'D**n, son, she could knock you out with those things in bed! Like cracking two coconuts together.'"
"This was fully and undoubtedly in reference to my breasts."
The OP was shocked by the comment and very uncomfortable.
"It made me deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed."
"I was so stunned, I couldn’t even process what he said to me, and our friends just stared at me, blinking."
"He’s a redneck, so he's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years, but this just seems to take the cake, as it was the first time it was directed at me."
"When he stepped out, I told my husband he needed to speak to him, and that the comment wasn’t okay."
"I went to change clothes and decided to never ever wear that shirt again."
"When I brought it up to my husband, he said he didn't hear the comment at first, but then he laughed when I told him what he said. He's always laughed when he feels awkward and has always had a hard time standing up to his parents in any capacity."
"When he and my father-in-law spoke, my FIL just said, 'I shouldn’t have said that to her, I know how she can be,' which just feels even more like I’m just being dramatic."
"Since then, I think my husband just wants me to drop it and move on, truthfully."
The OP wasn't sure what to do after what happened.
"This genuinely ruined my entire night. Am I just too sensitive, or was this an inappropriate thing to say?"
"There's also been no apology since then. This happened on Thursday, and then my father-in-law came by again on Friday with flowers to wish me a happy Mother's Day before Mother's Day Sunday."
"I think that was his way of trying to just breeze past the awkwardness. He's never gotten me a gift the whole seven years I've known him, so the flowers were odd. But I still feel really uncomfortable."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that her father-in-law's comments were rude and just plain creepy.
"NOR at all. That was really rude of him. Anyone would be offended." - Bookbringer
"NOR. That’s firmly in the category of what should be an 'inside thought,' and we should learn what those are at a much younger age than this guy is."
"F**king h**l, this is an absolutely mental thing to say out loud, let alone to your daughter-in-law." - Electronic-Fennel828
"FIL is an AH. I love that you think his being a redneck excuses it, but d**n. Even rednecks should know better than to speak that way to their son's wife."
"What does your husband have to say? Does he understand how breath-takingly rude his father was, or is he Team 'That's Just How He Is'?"
"I'd go very low contact with the old perv. NOR, he put you in an uncomfortable position with his crude remark. Is he married? I'd tell the MIL. I'd tell the whole family. Yes, it's embarrassing, but he is the one who should be embarrassed. Don't accept his non-apology." - Top-Bit85
"Maybe I’m desensitized after having large breasts since I was 13 (I’m 28 now), but I let out a little snort based on how immature of a joke it was. I’d simply tell FIL, 'Yes, I know, my boobs are big,' and move on."
"That said, I would never make such a comment about another person's body. Just because I'm technically fine with it doesn't mean I assume anyone else is!"
"Not everyone is the same, and if OP felt uncomfortable, she’s NOR. Her body, her boundaries." - Both_Original2094
"I’m sorry. That’s upsetting. My father is like this with his father. Even if it’s very offensive comments, he’s uncomfortable and has problems confronting him. It sounds like your husband isn’t going to have a talk with him, which is hurtful."
"I would explain to your husband how uncomfortable the situation was for you and that it’s a serious matter, especially if it happens again. And if he still tries to brush it off, then I would tell him you no longer want your FIL coming to your home."
"It’s your life, too, and he’s not the one being hurt here, you are." - w_coastultraviolence
Others were specifically angry about the tactics the father-in-law used to try to get out of trouble.
"Seriously? Saying 'I know how she can be' is a classic way to blame the victim for having boundaries. It’s your birthday, not a Hooters convention. What a creep. If he can’t look at the baby without checking out your breast, he shouldn't be invited to the house." - Specific_Parsnip3264
"'I know how she can be' is so f**ked up. He's the one being a disgusting person. You need to shine up your husband's spine to properly call him out at the time next time, because there will be a next time." - dancepantz
"The bit that pisses me off the most is, 'I know how she can be,' which is his way of making it her problem that she doesn't like her FiL sexualising her in front of her friends." - Outside-Partait-8935
"The 'joke' comment is gross, but that follow-up comment is infuriating. NOR, OP. But this guy will be in your life for a while, so firmly & calmly shutting this stuff down is completely appropriate."
"I'd wear the d**n shirt again to the next family function and look him right in the eyes next time!" - RationalFish
"When we let things like this slide for others, it's not long before it ends up on our doorstep, and of course, nobody says anything because keeping the peace is the norm. It doesn't have to be getting into their face and yelling abuse back. Just a comment such as, 'Well, that's super tacky to say,' or asking them why they'd say that." - Kattnapped
"The OP said, 'He's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years... but this is the first time it was directed to me.'"
"Normalise calling stuff out when they are talking about others, and they won't feel so comfortable saying it to you."
"It's a gross thing for him to say, but I guess him buying you flowers is his way of saying sorry."
"Sounds like you are in the situation of a lot of new mothers, where you suddenly realise this stuff matters because you want better influences for your child, and better support for yourself. NOR." - Jumpy-Jello-
Now, about that shirt...
"Please re-think your decision to never wear the cute shirt again, girl!! It's something that you liked very much because it made you feel good about yourself. Don't let some backwoods id**t ruin that for you."
"Wear that shirt till it's worn out and can't be worn anymore!! You should be able to feel good about yourself in whatever you like to wear."
"Your husband should have immediately checked his father, not waited until he was told to do so after his father left the room. In front of everyone there, your husband should have told his father not to ever speak about you or to you in that kind of manner, and if his father doesn't like it, he knows where the door is."
"Hubby should have called him out for his response as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were not the problem; his dad was. This comes down to your husband needing to protect his wife, and he didn't do that." - Lynzo141982
"If he is a redneck, like you said, he won't outright apologize, but flowers are his way of saying sorry."
"I hope he won't say anything again, or else you can expect a nicely tended garden for at least a year."
"About your top, I hope you can wear it again. It takes a lot to feel cute, being a new mum."
"If not, get some fabric dye, dye the top a different color, and embroider a flower on it. This makes the top new, different, and every time you wear it, you can use the mantra ... I'm cute, I don't care what anyone says."
"You've got this!!" - No_Kangaroo_6637
Even if the father-in-law was joking and meant no harm, this is one of those situations where he needs to admit that his joke did not land well, he did cause harm, and he needs to apologize. Just because some people enjoy joking in that manner does not mean that everyone will be comfortable with it, and it's important to respect everyone's boundaries and zones of comfort.