It goes without saying that weddings are expensive.
As a result, as much as it often pains brides and grooms, they must eventually decide who is and isn’t worthy of making the cut and earning a spot at their weddings due to cost.
More often than not, crowd control often results in friends of the bride and groom being unable to bring their significant others, forcing them to go dateless.
Redditor SneakyGooseGirl was a bit disappointed when she learned she would be unable to bring her boyfriend to a wedding where she was going to be maid of honor.
Initially, the original poster (OP0 was able to brush it off, assuming this was a money-saving measure.
However, it soon became clear to the OP that this was not the case, and the reason for her boyfriend’s exclusion made her so angry that she ended up skipping the wedding altogether.
Fearing that she may have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for ditching a wedding that I was the maid of honor in because the bride tried to set me up with the best man?”
The OP explained why she ultimately simply couldn’t fulfill her maid of honor duties:
“I (20 F[emale]) was supposed to be the maid of honor at a wedding a few weeks ago.”
“I ended up just leaving and going home to my boyfriend of 6 years after the bride (22 F[emale]) and groom tried to set me up with the best man (28 M[ale]).”
“When my friend got engaged last year I was excited for her and even more excited when she asked me to be the maid of honor.”
“As invites went out, though, she asked me not to bring my boyfriend to the wedding.”
“I was really upset about that, but my boyfriend talked me down, telling me that weddings were expensive and they were probably trying to keep the guest list down, and they didn’t really know him, so it would be fine for me to go without him.”
“That made sense to me so I didn’t say or do anything after that and just continued with helping as I could as the maid of honor.”
“Nothing else really concerning happened again until a couple of days before the wedding.”
“The bride asked me to give the best man a ride to and from the wedding which was about a 4 hours drive.”
“I thought it was just part of it as he was a veteran and had his own issues surrounding that.”
“So I gave him a ride up to the Airbnb that we were staying at before the wedding.”
“The whole time he tried to make conversation that was just weird to me, and I was just not into it and just trying my best to be nice to him.”
“At the Airbnb with everyone, I immediately noticed things were off.”
“All of the other bridesmaids had their boyfriends there, and things were really awkward when I found out I was in a room with the best man.”
“The next day before the rehearsal dinner, the bride and groom cornered me in a room to say that the best man was an incredible guy and that I was blowing him off without really giving him a chance.”
“I told him well of course not I have a serious long term boyfriend which y’all specifically told me not to bring.”
“Then the bride cut in and told me we’ll that really isn’t that serious since he hasn’t proposed in so long.”
“I argued back that it was because we were both still in school.”
“We continued arguing for a little while before I finally just said forget I’m going home.”
“I got called all sorts of awful names going out of the room and packed up and left.”
“I got a lot of calls on the way home, which I ignored until my boyfriend called.”
“Apparently, the bride called him and told him I just left for no reason, and he called to check in on me.”
“I told him everything that had happened, and he was kind of dumbstruck by it all.”
“Anyways, after the wedding, I’ve had the bride, the groom, and a lot of their friends call or message me telling how horrible of a person I was for just leaving the night before the wedding for no reason.”
“None of them were receptive to my side of things, and it’s starting to worry me that maybe I overreacted by just leaving like that.”
“I started dating my bf in high-school, he’s 2 years older than me my friends don’t really know my bf since he doesn’t go to the same school as us and when we do see each other it’s usually half way between our schools.”
“Anyway AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for skipping the wedding.
Everyone agreed that the Bride was way out of line trying to set the OP up with the Best Man knowing she was currently attached, completely justifying the OP skipping the wedding, with others pointing out that even if the OP was single, having her share a room with a man she had never met was creepy and bizarre:
“They had you sharing a room with a stranger?”
“You were supposed to sleep there, shower there, get dressed there?”
“Is the best man the groom’s best friend?”
“Did they have fantasies of you marrying him, buying a home next door to them, and raising your children together?”
“NTA.”- QuietCelery7850
“‘No reason?'”
“‘I’m sorry to say, whoever you heard that from lied to you’.”
“‘The reason I left is that the bride attempted to force me to share a room with a man other than my boyfriend, repeatedly insulted me and my relationship, and made me feel generally unsafe and disrespected’.”
“‘I was so devastated’.”
“‘I thought she asked me to be her MOH because she thought of me as a close friend, but now it seems like she only did it to attempt to force me into a sexual relationship with a practical stranger’.”
“NTA.”
“The bride literally doesn’t care about your feelings, so you weren’t really her MOH, just a prop she was using to further some other goal.”
“Without knowing more about the situation, I can’t be sure whether it was because she was prioritizing the best man over you or whether it’s because she genuinely believes your boyfriend is bad for you (and therefore was just trying to replace him with anyone else), but either way, that is a completely unacceptable way to treat another person.”
“Her behavior would have been appalling if you had been a stranger. The AH-ish-ness is off the charts since she was supposedly your friend.”
“And anyone who can’t see that either doesn’t know the whole story or else is proving themselves to be an AH as well.”- DinaFelice
“NTA.”
“This is so bizarre, and I feel bad for the poor best man who probably has no idea that OP has a boyfriend.”
“But even if she was single and it was a legitimate set up- I find is so creepy that OP was expected to share a room with a man she doesn’t know- and she wasn’t even told about it first.”
“There is also a pretty decent age gap to set a 20-year-old up with a 28-year-old without even telling her it’s a setup.”
“And it’s hardly shocking that the BF hasn’t proposed- 6 years is a long time to be dating, except they would have started going out as kids.”
“They are still young and starting their lives together. Marriage could be years off.”- Fianna9
“NTA.”
“It’s freaking unbelievable and she lost all loyalty from you when she actively tried to f up your life.”
“Knowing she was wrong she tried to tell everyone that you just left for no reason (tactic of all guilty people to control the crowd and pressure you to apologize).”
“Please tell me your boyfriend does support you in this decision.”
“Don’t worry about what these jerk friends are saying to you because 1- they are jerks and 2- who wants friends that do this or think what they did was ok.”- youmustb3jokn
“NTA.”
“Good for you, OP!”
“What they did was incredibly creepy and dangerous.”
“You’re 20… he’s 28, first of all, and a total stranger to you.”
“It is NOT OK that they put you in the same room.”
“I would have left immediately as soon as I found that out.”
“They disrespected you and your relationship.”
“Your boyfriend was even kind enough to encourage you to even go to the wedding without him!”
“You did not overreact.”
“You reacted appropriately, later than what I would.”
“This internet stranger is proud of you for standing up for yourself and getting yourself out of a terrible situation.”
“These people are not your friends and tried to pimp you out essentially.”- lenajlch
It’s hard to imagine how the bride could possibly have expected the OP to stay at her wedding and celebrate her nuptials when she so blatantly disrespected her own relationship.
Though not as unfathomable as the bride thinking it was OK for the OP to share a room with a man she had never met, no matter the circumstances.
Even if she didn’t stay for the wedding, the OP still managed to live up to her title, as she was one of the only people to do what was truly the honorable thing.