There continue to be sad reminders of just how little progress has been made when it comes to gender roles.
Far too many people still believe that certain things should be left to women, and others to men.
Even if it means putting something off until a man or woman is present to take care of it.
Redditor rocksandhardplaces1 was, thankfully, not one of those people, and was happy to jump on any duties regarding his infant son.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP) found himself in a situation where fathers were not expected to take care of certain duties.
Forcing the OP to take matters into his own hands, much to the horror of others.
Worried that he may have made a big mistake, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for going into the ladies’ room?”
The OP explained that after hitting multiple dead ends when it came to changing his son’s diaper, he decided there was only one solution.
“I am a 31 year-old man and was at a large store yesterday with my 5-month-old son when he did what babies do.”
“I went over to the restrooms and saw that there wasn’t a family/companion restroom, just a men’s and women’s.”
‘I went into the men’s room and saw there was a cubicle and a few urinals, but no changing table.”
“The sink didn’t have a counter either.”
“I walked out and hunted down an employee to ask where the changing table was.”
“She said it was in the bathroom, and I asked where, assuming there was a family/companion restroom on the other side of the store.”
“She took me back to where I just was.”
“I asked if there was another bathroom, and she said no.”
“I told her I was just in the bathroom and there was no changing table.”
“She asked if I was sure and suggested I look again.”
“I was annoyed, but I went back in the men’s room.”
“No changing table.”
“When I came out the employee was gone.”
“Keep in mind, my son has been in his poopy diaper this whole time.”
“So I give up and head into the lady’s room which sure enough had a changing table.”
“There was a woman in there washing her hands, and she said ‘wrong bathroom, buddy’.”
“I gestured to my son and said ‘no changing table in the men’s room’.”
“She laughed and said ‘bro, that sucks’.”
“Then she walked out.”
“So I rush to change him, hoping to be done before anyone else walked in.”
“I’m almost done when a woman walks in and starts screaming at me.”
“I tried to explain what I was doing, but she kept screaming ‘Get out! You can’t be here!’.”
“Then she ran out.”
“I finished putting the diaper on and rushed out of the bathroom.”
“I saw the woman talking to an employee and decided to leave without my stuff.”
“The employee tried to wave me down and stop me, but I rushed out to my car, buckled my son into his carseat and left.”
“My wife said I absolutely did the right thing, but my mom said I’m an idiot and was 100% in the wrong.”
“My sister won’t stop laughing at me and is no help at all.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community wholeheartedly agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for using the ladies’ room to change his son’s diaper.
Everyone agreed that the store should have made more effort to accommodate the OP in his predicament, with many agreeing that if the OP did do anything wrong, it was running out of the store, rather than explaining his situation to the staff.
“A guy I went to high school with went on a one-man campaign to get changing tables installed in men’s rooms for circumstances just as this.”
“Take up the mantle!”- saucisse
“That store is 100% to blame for this.”
“I wouldn’t be shocked if they’ve received complaints about this in the past and haven’t done anything about it.”
“Your mom was way out of line.”
“You needed to change your kid.”
“What’d she expect you to do, change him on the floor?”
“Drive home with him in a dirty diaper?”
“Your wife is right.”
“You did the right thing and that lady was rude.”
“Who does that?”
‘Screams at a father for changing his kid’s dirty diaper.”- SigSauerPower320
“The McDonald’s I used to work at didn’t originally have a changing table in the mens room.”
“They did eventually get one when they remodeled.”
“Had guys come to me a few times before for this same reason and what I did was make sure the ladies room was empty, let the dude in and wait outside till he finished so I could let any women know the situation.”
“The employee should have done that or something like it rather than insisting you were wrong and ditching you.”
“The baby comes first so definitely NTA.”- Gralb_the_muffin
“If anything you did wrong by rushing out as if you did something wrong.”
“You should have told the employee that there’s no changing room in the men’s and that they should do something about that.”- CommercialUnit2
“I’ve never felt threatened by a man changing a poopy diaper.”
“Maybe I should feel threatened since they have the most dangerous weapon ever.”- MiruTheSloth
“NTA but that woman sure was.”
“Not your fault the men’s room had no changing table.”
“What does your mom suggest you should have done?”- Vixen7-9
“If I saw a man walk into the women’s bathroom with a baby, I wouldn’t even think twice.”
“Stores need to be more open to the fact that dad’s change diapers too.”- Master27Blaster
“Just a sh*tty situation.”- ryanmcl22
“NTA you have every right to find a clean and secure space to change your son even if it’s in a women’s bathroom.”
“The store could easily get with the 21st century by installing a changing space in the men’s and chose not to so that’s on them.”- VelkerSky
“But the woman that was screaming sure is.”- flystroker
“NTA and the workers were absolute AHs.”
“As well as the screecher in the ladies room.”
“What a bunch of f*ckknuckles.”
“Sorry you had to deal with that.”-bodyelectrick
“The only thing wrong was running away, own up and say I had to change my son nappy lady and the bathroom was empty so get over it.”
“Your mother is something else cause she should have been understanding.”- LonelyWinter22
“If I see a man changing a baby in the women’s room, I’m gonna leave him be.”
“It’s not his fault that businesses, and apparently this guy’s mom, can’t get with the times and install a changing room in the men’s room.”
“Yes you should have stayed and argued with the store about it.”
“You literally didn’t do anything wrong.”
“As much as bathrooms have labels, there is no, general, legal requirement you have to use one or the other.”
“A men’s room can be used by women and women’s room can be used by men.”
“Every bathroom can be any bathroom regardless of markings.”
“So using one that suited your need for a changing station is fully within your right regardless of what it is marked.”
“The property may have you escorted out for breaking their own policy, but it is not illegal, in most places.”- KrosseStarwind
“You were a dad that did what was necessary.”
“Your mom and sister are a**holes.”
“So was the store.”
“There should be changing tables in all the bathrooms.”- 4682458
“Stores need to stop assuming that only mums and females change babies.”
“Fellow dad here.”
“Had a similar situation with my daughter when she was an infant.”
“Ended up changing her on the toilet seat of the mens bathroom.”
“Most public restrooms don’t have toilet seat covers but this one did.”
“It’s aggravating to not have similar accommodations as a dad but I’ve gotten used to changing my kids diaper wherever I can safely do so.”
“But you best believe I have no qualms about telling anyone to kick rocks if they have a problem with where I’m changing a poopy diaper as long as it’s sanitary and safe for the kid.”
“You’re NTA and I’ve talked to several store managers about similar situations.”
“That lady that walked in and saw you with a baby at the changing table and still couldn’t put two and two together can get bent.”- jimmybebad
It is a pity that the OP chose to run away, rather than stay and talk to a manager.
Running away suggests that you might have done something wrong, when all the OP did was make his infant son more comfortable.
Had he chosen not to hightail it out of the store he might have pointed out to a manager how he was left with no other options, other than possibly changing his son on the floor in the middle of everything.
Something one can only imagine everyone present was grateful he did not do.
Had the OP spoken to a manager or employee, their eyes might have been opened about what needs changing in their store.
Something they now might not realize until another dad finds himself needing to change their child’s diaper.