There are things everyone relishes and things people live to regret.
The truth of each matter is all in the eye of the beholder.
Problem is when outsiders hear about the history.
They may not always get the truth of it all.
Redditor Away-Confidence-1333 found himself in a personal dilemma regarding his past with his sister and his wife's reaction to it, so he turned to the "Am I The A**Hole" (AITAH) subreddit for feedback.
Similar to AITA, the AITAH subReddit allows posters to ask for advice and post about ending relationships—both things that are banned on AITA. However, there are no required voting acronyms—only suggested ones—and no official final judgment declared.
He asked:
"AITAH for laughing at my wife when she's upset that me and sister had a make-believe wedding when I was 4 and she was 6?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"My wife 'Sara' (24 F[emale]), my sister 'Maya' (26 F), and I (24 M[ale]) were watching some of the home movies my parents had made for Maya and me."
"After some fun little movies, it got to an embarrassing little movie when my sister and I had a make-believe wedding."
"I was cringing at myself as I had forgotten that phase where I thought I wanted to marry my sister."
"I was 4 at the time, and my sister was 6 at the time."
"When I saw Sara's face, she looked disgusted."
"But in that moment, I was unsure if she was genuinely disgusted or if she was doing a bit."
"She said, 'Your parents allowed that and filmed that! That is so weird!'"
"Her voice had cracked when she said the word 'weird.'"
"I started laughing, and Maya started laughing."
"When Sara said it wasn't funny, I stopped laughing immediately, while Maya was fighting not to laugh."
"Maya left the room."
"I tried to apologize to Sara, but she wasn't having it."
"I made another mistake when I told her that I'm sorry."
"I laughed, but I thought she was joking."
"She said I'm weird to think this is a laughing matter."
The OP was left to wonder:
"Am I the A**hole?"
Some Redditors weighed in by using the AITA voting acronyms:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was NOT the A**hole here.
"NTA, your wife is weird though." ~ Respectable_Fuc*boy
"Yeah, OP, you were 4."
"Some little boys say they are gonna marry mommy when they grow up."
"And daddy is Prince Charming to his little girl."
"Little kids don't understand."
"They just know the people in their lives."
"Sometimes it's a parent, and sometimes it's an older sibling."
"And kids play house all the time. Playing make-believe."
"Your wife is weird and making something out of nothing. Why? NTA." ~ PartyCustard3125
"Do you know how many weddings I've put on starring my Barbie?"
"She always stayed Crystal Barbie."
"She was never called Polygamist Barbie."
"That bish was married to two different Ken dolls, my older brother, our poodle, B'rer Bear *, and B'rer Fox, and an endless string of GI Joes over a 10-year period."
"On top of that, throughout all her marriages, she continued to live with 3 other Barbies in a VERY cozy little case." ~ Total-Active1986
"Dude, she's cracked; there's no way 4 year old you could fathom the salacious/taboo things she's imagining in her head about this."
"Playing pretend is just that - pretend."
"It was absolutely innocent."
"Don't overlook this."
"There is zero excuse for this."
"NTA for laughing."
"I would have laughed, too."
"Your wife needs help unpacking that reaction."
"Therapy could help." ~ Loose-Chemical-4982
"I wonder if she's an only child, maybe, and just doesn't get it?"
"Or maybe she had creepy brothers, and this brought up weird stuff for her."
"Either way, it's def a bit off for her to be so weirded out."
"Obv OP is in no way TA."
"Same with the sister, and parents aren't weird like wife says."
"My daughter (4) and son (6) talk about marrying each other when one of them is clearly overwhelmed with love for their sibling and doesn't know another way to express it." ~ s_4_evrysing
"NTA. Your wife is either twisted or stupid."
"I’m not sure which, but I’m still side-eying the Hell out of her."
"As someone old enough to be your mom, I kinda want to tell her to go sit in timeout and think about why her behavior is inappropriate." ~ Icky-Tree-Branch
"When I was probably 9 (F), and my little sister was 6 - we BOTH played wedding with our sheltie dog - Lassie."
"He actually got to be the bride because we both thought he looked so cute wearing the 'veil.'"
"Your wife is totally overreacting. NTA." ~ Straight_Caregiver27
"NTA. Your wife is odd."
"My niece and nephew used to both dress up as brides when they were little."
"When my nephew married his husband, they blew up the photo of him and his sister in their wedding gowns and displayed it at the wedding."
"It was hilarious." ~ BrondomaNTAH
"I think most people would have assumed she was joking and would laugh, because to think it's 'not a laughing matter ' is ridiculous in my opinion."
"Anyone who thinks something a 4 and 6-year-old does is anything but a sweet and fun memory is the one who needs to chill and maybe get some therapy."
"Little kids every day declare they are going to marry their mom or dad or anyone who means a lot to them."
"This isn't 'weird', this is innocence at its finest." ~ Unsettled_addendum
"NTA. Your wife needs to get a grip."
"My daughters were irritated that they weren't allowed to marry me, or their mom, when they were like 3 or 4."
"Kids that age don't understand what marriage, or romantic love, is."
"There's an episode of Bluey where the kids and their cousins force their dad and uncle to be horses, and then have a wedding for them."
"And the kids are ages 2-6." ~ LegalChocolate752
"NTA, the only weird person is your wife."
"Not sure what happened to her, but maybe some therapy is in order."
"Kids do this kind of stuff because they are kids."
"They don't know any better." ~ AppeltjeEitje1079
"NTA. Your wife is showing her age."
"Young and childless lol."
"My 4-year-old son pretended I was his sister for like 2 years."
"Then I was pregnant with my daughter, and he told his prek teacher, 'My sister is pregnant with my brother' 😂😂🤡🤡🤡."
"Thank GOD the teacher had a sense of humor and knew kids do and say weird shit all the time!" ~ Delicious-Status1806
"NTA, maybe Sara has some trauma."
"Explain you were just a couple of little kids playing dress up, and that's all it was, and there was nothing nefarious going on."
"Question her about what she finds so wrong."
"Why does she feel that way?" ~ Boomer79NZ
"The problem is your mate!"
"You were kids!!"
"I bet it's the cutest and funniest video of you and your sister that your parents had!"
"Your wife needs to talk to a professional to find out what her deep-seated issue is."
"There's something in her past she needs to address and deal with."
"Best of luck to you!" ~ Gemsi1
"Totally NTA."
"Little kids play dress up and make believe and do princes and princesses or fake weddings."
"Many boys want to marry their mothers, cousins, siblings, or anyone else when they are that age."
"If you'd done it as a teenager, it might make sense."
"But make-believe fake wedding of a 4 and 6-year-old?"
"It's pretty damn unhinged to get that upset about it and to expect you to take it this seriously."
"And that you even laughed doesn't make you a TA either. It IS funny and probably about 95% of the genpop would find it funny and cute." ~ Princess-of-Power-42
"NTA. What do kids that young understand?"
"She was probably your best friend, who you loved most outside your parents, and kid logic says you should marry each other." ~ aladyofchange
"Naw, your wife was being weird."
"You were 4 and 6."
"It was weird of her to take something like that seriously."
"When I was 4, I played make-believe house, and my best guy friends were my husband."
"One time, I was the husband to his wife."
"No concept of what marriage meant when I was 4."
"He was my friend, and marriage to me meant you marry your closest friend."
"Cause that is what my mom always said she did with Dad." ~ GloveFluid8306
"NTA, your wife is insecure."
"I have a son and daughter, the same age gap (older sister, younger brother), and I absolutely wanted to get married at 3 and 5, and they’re still best friends today at 11 and 13."
"We gently explained at ages 3-6 why they could never marry, and they moved on."
"Your wife being this upset is really strange and honestly smacks of insecurity more than a true ick."
"She’s still very young, so hopefully you two grow together as you age, and if you choose to have kids, may they adore one another so much they can’t imagine life without the other. ❤️." ~ BringerOfLight2884
Reddit is with you, OP.
This is an issue your wife needs to deal with.
This was an old, innocent video.
Hopefully, she will get past this sooner rather than later.
Good Luck.
