When you have a good relationship with your parents, it’s something you cherish. Being on good terms, and being able to show affection is not something everyone can do with their family.
Redditor mumsbfhatesme is fortunate enough for this to be the case in their life. The original poster (OP) shows their affection for their mom in a way that rubbed her boyfriend the wrong way.
This caused a fight between OP’s mom and her boyfriend and OP is left wondering if he was wrong. The fight led to a breakup and so OP decided to ask the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit the titular question.
And as a strike against OP, he did insult the BF.
“AITA for calling my mums bf weird and creepy”
But there’s a lot more context to what happened.
“So i (14m) grew up with two moms, who i call mom and mama (both 33f), and whenever one of them was on their period, the other would take me and we’d go get all the stuff needed for it. Then we’d always lay in bed and watch movies on their tv.”
“My mums got divorced two years ago and since then i’ve just been doing it by myself for whichever mum i’m staying with when it happens.”
“Well my mom started dating this guy about 7 months ago and he really doesn’t like me. I’m not biologically related to the mom he’s dating and so he thinks it’s weird that she’s raising a ‘random child’. He’s never said it to her but he says it to me when we’re alone.”
“My mum got her period yesterday and was getting really bad cramps so i biked over to a store and grabbed some chocolates, pain killers, and tampons for her. Then like usual when i got home, we laid in her bed together and watched a show.”
“Her boyfriend showed up but i was asleep and didn’t hear him come in until he was already yelling. He kept saying i was perverted and it was disgusting that i would touch my mom like that because i had been laying with my head on her chest while we cuddled.”
“My mom started yelling back saying he was irrational and that it was innocent, and i told him that he was weird and creepy if he saw a son cuddling his mom and instantly thought of anything sexual. He yelled back that i wasn’t her son and no normal 14 year old boy would do that.”
“My mom kicked him out of the house and told him to not come back.”
“I thought i was in the right but i told my friends about this and they said it is weird that i like to snuggle with my moms and now i feel a bit bad.”
OP isn’t sure that he was right after his friends told him it was weird. He thinks he might have gone too far calling the boyfriend weird and creepy.
On Reddit, the users of the board judged OP for calling the BF a creep and being the cause of the mom and BF’s fight by including one of the following in their response:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
In the end, it comes down to how the boyfriend was treating OP. No matter what OP did, just existing in his mom’s house, the boyfriend would believe that OP didn’t belong there.
And it can be so rare to find a teenage boy willing to have a good relationship with their mother.
OP is not wrong for trying to comfort and cuddling with his mother, and the boyfriend is weird for trying to read something gross into that.
“NTA at all. Please also tell your mum what he said when she wasn’t around.”
“Both your mums are lucky to have you for their son and nothing is better than a mum cuddle at any age.” – Moon-lit-rain
“NTA, it’s good your mom kicked him out. Just because you aren’t biologically related to your mom, doesn’t make her any less your mother.”
“The BF is clearly the weird creeper for having those thoughts.”
“Your friends are 14 year old boys, so when they say it’s weird to snuggle, it’s just coming from an immature place, but it has nothing to do with your relation to your mom.” – Imaginary_Being1949
“You’re absolutely NTA. If anyone either of your mothers dates says anything like this to you again, please tell them immediately.”
“You said your moms bf said shit like that to you in private before, and I’m positive your moms would want to know if their partner is being shitty to you. Don’t feel bad about any of this!” – scooterankle
“NTA. You were right to call him weird and creepy because he is weird and creepy.” – Shlaffytaffy
“NTA”
“I’m so sorry that her ex-bf said those things to you. Like many have already said, they are both equally your mother.”
“He’s clearly unstable and I’m glad your mom took care of it.”
“Your friends are young and immature, and in their minds snuggling with your mom is ‘uncool’. It’s not uncool, and you did nothing wrong.”
‘It’s an amazing thing to have such a close relationship with your moms – never let anyone’s opinion change that!” – rickmurple
“Nta. I’m so sorry this disgusting man and those so called friends of yours are making you believe that you are in the wrong for simply being affectionate with your mother.”
“There’s nothing inherently sexual about cuddling with your mom at the age of fourteen and I’m heartbroken for you that you’re now questioning whether or not you’re in the wrong for simply being.”
“You have done nothing wrong and I hope you can understand that! Keep your head up and maybe look for new friends because these ones suck.” – Affectionate-Dig7394
“NTA – i still have cuddles with my mum when either of us are feeling down and I’m almost 22.”
“There’s nothing wrong w it, even my brother still hugs my mum and he’s 16. It’s really nice that you have such a good relationship with your mums :))” – okaybutwtfrick
“NTA OP, and please don’t feel bad for snuggling with your mum.”
“I think it’s very sweet that you still have that kind of relationship, and sad that your friends shit on it, because one day they’ll regret all the cuddles they didn’t give their parents because it was ‘uncool’.”
“Hell, I still like to cuddle with/nap on my mum, and I’m 26.”
“The boyfriend was disgustingly inappropriate, and you should definitely tell your mum what he says when she’s not around. I doubt she’d appreciate him trying to convince you that you’re not her son and have no place being there.” – BorderlineBadBrain
Other commenters couldn’t believe how much of a jerk the boyfriend was being. This was especially the case when he would dismiss OP as a random kid in his mom’s house.
The attachment to biology was incredible concerning.
“NTA, he is not only weird and creepy, but completely disregarding that you are in fact her kid. Biology doesn’t make a parent, being there as a parent does.”
“I’m glad she dumped him on his butt!” – TCTX73
“My mums always made it clear that biology didn’t matter, and no one on my moms side ever treated me differently so it honestly surprised me the first time he said it” – mumsbfhatesme (OP)
“NTA totally not the assh*le whatsoever. While it might be ‘weird’ to your friends it’s completely innocuous to cuddle with a parent. You have a good relationship with your moms.”
“Your mom also has your back which is great. You are her son. Biology doesn’t matter. She raised you.” – Funnybunnyhunny1979
“NTA, you are in the right. I cuddle with my kids when we watch movies, that is normal.”
“I’m not entirely sure when my oldest son and I stopped cuddling, but I’m sure it was older than 14, and it probably had more to do with him being too busy to hang out at all that any age thing.”
“I have a movie night once a week with my 15 year old NB kid and my 13 year old son, and one or both of them usually end up laying on me at some point.”
“And I really hope that man never does come back. You should tell your mom what he said to you when you were alone – I know if someone called one of my kids a ‘random child’, I’d be beyond furious. Biology doesn’t make a family, as I’m sure you know.”
“Of course your mom is your mom and you’re her son. Who the hell does this guy think he is, anyway, thinking he gets to make judgements like that after being around for what?”
“A little over half a year? What an ass. Your mom is way better off without him.” – Old-Elderberry-9946
OP’s relationship with his mom is healthy. The traditions he has with his moms to help them through a difficult time of the month is great too!
If someone tries to read something sexual into that, it reveals more about them and not OP.