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Mom Blasts Teacher For Letting Daughter Get Bullied By Classmate Because She’s In Foster Care

Girl crying against a locker.
LSOphoto/Getty Images

Learning that your child is being bullied at school is one of the worst things a parent could ever hear.

Teachers are equally upset to learn that there is bullying going on in their classrooms.

Ideally, the teacher will diplomatically speak to the parents of both the child being bullied and the bully in question to figure out what has led to the bullying, and find a solution to stop it.

Unfortunately, finding a solution to bullying is never as easy as one hopes it will be.

Redditor -madmom- was furious to discover that her daughter was being bullied at school.

Making the original poster (OP) even angrier was that her daughter’s teacher seemed to be taking it easy on her daughter’s bully, owing to her unfortunate situation at home.

In the OP’s eyes, however, she saw nothing that could justify the behavior of her daughter’s bully and had no trouble saying so to her daughter’s teacher.

Wondering if she was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA for telling the teachers that my daughter’s bully being a foster kid isn’t an excuse to be a brat?”

The OP explained why she felt her daughter’s teacher was being too lenient on the girl that was bullying her at school:

“My (36 F[emale]) daughter (11 F) has a close knit group of 5 best friends with whom she does everything together.”

“At her school students have to sit in the same seat for every single lesson, and my daughter and her best friends all sit together at one table.”

“There is another little girl in my daughter’s class called Winny.”

“Once, Winny came to sit at my daughter’s table when one of her friends was off sick.”

“That day, Winny constantly knocked my daughter’s books and pens off the table on accident, and borrowed her stationery only to snap one of her rubbers, stain her highlighter with black ink, and was even found with my daughter’s pens in her pocket.”

“One morning Winny came to school crying non stop.”

“The teacher was very sympathetic and asked if there was anything she could do to help.”

“Winny said she wanted my daughter removed from her seat so she could have it, and the teacher agreed.”

“The only empty seats left were all the way in the back corner of the classroom opposite her friends, and the only students sitting there were a girl who was known to be a delinquent and two older boys who had been held back.”

“The teacher refused to give my daughter a real explanation for why she had to move seats, instead saying some generic stuff about being kind to those less fortunate.”

“My daughter cried for a week straight.”

“In our country, the school year ends in December, so that’s over seven months of being isolated from her closest friends.”

“She’s also starting high school next year and will be attending a private school while her friends are going to a public school, so this is the last time she can hang out with them every day.”

“A few days ago, I was called into school because my daughter had gotten into an argument with Winny.”

“Winny had confided in my daughter’s friends about how she had gone into foster care after her parents overdosed.”

“Winny was always a loner at school and wanted some girls to sit with during this time, and the teacher sympathized with her so she agreed.”

“The only reason my daughter had to move was because there wasn’t enough space for 7 girls and my daughter was simply the one Winny liked the least, and she admitted to lying to the teacher about being uncomfortable around my daughter to get her moved.”

“When my daughter found this out, she told Winny she didn’t understand why she had to pay the price just because Winny’s parents were a bunch of insane criminals who didn’t want her anymore.”

“I know Winny’s had a hard time, but so has my daughter.”

“Her older brother passed away only months ago.”

“I told the teachers that Winny isn’t the only child going through a tough time and I didn’t understand why my daughter had to be punished for another girl’s struggles as if she wasn’t suffering herself.”

“The teachers wanted me to make my daughter apologize for her remarks, and I said it was their fault for punishing her and forcing her to sit with the problem kids despite doing nothing wrong, and they were downplaying my daughter’s grief and trauma to cater to a brat.”


Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH – No A**holes Here

The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for confronting her daughter’s teacher.

Nearly everyone agreed that the OP’s daughter’s teacher did seem to be showing blatant favoritism, and fair for the OP’s daughter to need to move seats, particularly after it was made clear Winny was being dishonest, even if some still felt the OP’s daughter should apologize to Winny for her remarks:


“I feel like there were more than a few options that the teacher could’ve gone with before splitting up/isolating a (grieving) kid from her group of friends for seven months all on the word of one girl.”

“The teacher could’ve asked Winny a few basic follow up questions: ‘Why does it have to be that particular table?’, ‘Why does the other girl make you uncomfortable?”, “Would you like me to help you and the other girl talk it all out?”.

“This all smacks of just lazily giving the crying child whatever they want, and letting them do what they want, to shut them up and I’ve unfortunately known a fair few people who based their whole personalities around this and got started around this age.”

“The worst was a ‘friend’ of my brothers who stole things from our family home constantly.”

“My parents told me not to make a fuss about it, because his home life was bad and the stuff he stole wasn’t that valuable (at first).”

“Then things like jewelry and small electronics started to go missing.”

“Then one day he ‘dropped by’ with two of his cousins to hang out with my brother… that evening our shed was broken into and our bikes were stolen.”

“I just have a sinking feeling that Winny is already on that same track; I hope I’m wrong, though.”

“I can definitely see the merit in making sure Winny is included in a group, but it should absolutely not be at the expense of another girl being excluded. WTF was that teacher thinking?!”-QueenieMcGee


“Sucks for Winnie,but instead of trying to make friends, she opted to bully and lie to get her way.”

“It shouldn’t be encouraged at all.”- Alda_ria


“I would have been irate if my daughter had been mistreated Winny one day and then moved from her seat, far from her friends because Winny wanted to sit there.”

“I’d NEVER tell my daughter to apologize to someone who has bullied her and lied about her.”

“The teacher has made the wrong decision every step of the way.”

“Your daughter lashed out because her teacher has mishandled things and made your daughter the victim.”

“Of course, she’s unhappy.”

“And she has every reason to need the support of her friends after suffering such a recent loss.”

“They can’t use that as an excuse for Winny – they are all strangers to her.”

“You need to demand that the teacher fixes her screwup immediately.”

“One way or another, your daughter needs to be returned to her rightful seat.”

“If she has to reconfigure the set up so be it, what she’s done is wrong and grossly unfair.”

“Being nice to one kid doesn’t mean hurting another in the process.”

“You need to be a strong advocate for your child.”- Top-Artichoke5020


“Defend your kid.”

“And to every ‘ESH’ god help you if your kids are ever bullied in school, I hope you have the same energy you’re displaying here.”- Serious_Watercress38


“And this girl is obviously very manipulative and knows exactly what she is doing.”

“Shame on the school and the teachers for giving in to this blackmail.”- Scary-Apple9232

“NTA although I also kind of think your daughter does need to apologize.”

“But winny also owes your daughter an even bigger apology, and it’s ridiculous the way the teachers are acting in this situation.”- Acceptable-Map-3490


“Document, escalate, incinerate the AH.”

“OP’s daughter was specifically targeted – Winny said ‘I want OP’s daughter’s seat’ and the teacher allowed it.”- stiggley

One of the most dangerous aspects of a child being bullied is that if it isn’t handled, it almost becomes normalized.

Evidenced by the fact that the OP’s daughter resorted to making unkind remarks about Winny.

Even so, if the OP could have possibly chosen her words a little more carefully, she was not wrong in addressing the fact that her daughter’s teacher needed to make it clear that bullying is never acceptable behavior.

Under any circumstances.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.