Sometimes we just have to spoil ourselves.
We see something we don't necessarily need but definitely want, and we decide it would bring us great joy to have and to hold it.
For some of us, it takes a little longer to save up for the special treat, but when we finally have it in our possession, it makes all the hard work worth it.
Also, it's ours, all ours... and only ours. Or at least it should be that way.
A teen on Reddit is furious after she got a job and saved to purchase an expensive bag that her mother later lent to someone who lost it, so she turned to the "Am I The A**hole Here" (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor Glittering-Celery323 asked:
"AITA for telling my mom to never touch my stuff again after she lost my Luis Vuitton bag?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"Ok so I (15/F[emale]) have always wanted a Louis Vuitton purse."
"I've always wanted something expensive as my own as all my things are hand me downs from my older sisters, as we are not the richest of people."
"Eventually i decided that if I wanted my purse I'd get it myself, so I got a job at a local restaurant and started to save up my money."
"While I worked I looked at purses and decided that I liked a little bag, it was expensive but after a few months I had the money."
"I quickly went and bought my bag, I didn't even let my family touch it when I got home."
"I didn't even wear it for the first week as I was too scared to damage it in anyway."
"One day after school I came back home and went into my room to look at my bag but went I got in it was gone from its place on my desk."
"I looked around my room to see if I'd moved it and just forgot but I couldn't find it."
"I went out and I ask my sisters but they said that they hadn't touched it so I went and found my mom."
"I asked her if she'd seen my bag and she said she'd shown it to her friend and her friend had liked it and asked if she could borrow it."
"My mom had said yes."
"I hadn't even used it yet."
"So say the least I wasn't please by this news, I blew up at my mom telling her not to touch my stuff and she said that her friend would be ok with it and I was being dramatic."
"I got grounded and was told to stay in my room since I was acting like a child over a bag."
"The next day I asked my mom about the bag and she got an uncomfortable look on her face, instantly I knew something was wrong."
"She wouldn't say anything but after a while she'd finally admitted that her friend had lost the bag, and she didn't plan on replacing it."
"I was furious, I exploded at her saying that she and her friends shouldn't have touched it in the first place and to never touch my things again."
"I also said some other hurtful things that I don't care to repeat."
"I ended up making her cry and my sisters are calling me an a**hole because it was just a bag and I was being dramatic, so am I the a**hole?"
Redditors weighed in on the situation and overwhelmingly agreed that OP is not the a**hole (NTA), with many believing her mom or her mom's friend sold the bag.
"Dude your mom sold your bag." - Embarrassed_Big5833
"Your mother's friend didn't borrow and lose the bag, your mother stole and sold it." - The_Furtive_Fireball
"OP, your mother is a dirty, lying thief."
"You are NTA."
"I would make sure you separate your bank account ASAP becuase she will take your wages when you have to much saved." - Beneficial_Noise_691
"Ask your mom for the money,f or sure she sold it" - CyberArwen1980
"Your mom 100% sold your new bag."
"If your mom's friend won't pay to replace it, then your mom is obligated to pay for it because they took it without asking, also known as STEALING." - DesperateToNotDream
"Your mom sold your bag is" - ForeverRepulsive2934
"NTAH"
"Your mum stole it and sold it."
"No one who has any idea how stupidly expensive these bags are would 'lend it to a friend,' especially when they are not people of means."
"Your mother watched you get a job and save for the thing you wanted and pulled this crap."
"I am furious for you."
"At least you know she's a liar and can't be trusted."
"I'm so sorry." - Late-Champion8678
"Your mom stole your bag to sell it." - Different-Steak2709
"I've got news for you."
"Your mom sold it."
"Go check the pawn shops in your area, and I'm willing to bet you'll find it."
"Also, if you want exclusive and cool, go thrifting."
"Often people donate stuff that is designer and don't realize or care."
"You can pick up some great vintage designer stuff that just needs a little bit of love and leather oil."
"Also, many designers will buy back their vintage stuff."
"Not all but a few" - dstluke
"NTA! She stole it babe!"
"Your mom stole your bag and either gave it to her friend or sold it for money."
"Keep an eye on her purchases!"
"I'll bet mom and sisters get some new stuff soon…but don't worry!"
"You'll get it as hand-me-downs!"
"NTA, and make sure you keep that job and save your money!"
"Your gonna need it to leave and never look back when you turn 18."
"I'm sorry!"
"Nothing worse that people feeling entitled to what you earned." - imachillin
Several also urged OP to file a police report.
"Your mom's 'friend' stole it."
"Call the police and file a report" - Haunting-Nebula-1685
"Report it to the police as theft" - Pale-Wishbone5635
"NTA"
"Either your mom stole it and sold it or pawned it, or her friend did."
"A grown woman doesn't just lose a handbag."
"Especially not a brand new one that she just 'borrowed' from a friend."
"That is the weakest story I ever heard."
"Your mom should absolutely buy you a new one..brand new please, with reciept and certificate."
"If she does not, you will need to file a police report and claim it on your parent's home insurance."
"Surely the home insurance has the 'clumsiness' addition?"
"The one that covers the glasses if you drop them and the crystal wineglasses if you bang them while washing up?"
"'Just lost the purse, dunno how' might fall under this category."
"But you will need a police report." - JaguarZealousideal55
"Call the cops."
"Screw your mother and her thieving friend."
"They stole that bag and sold it."
"The mother was in on it." - Top-Bit85
"NTA. If you can please file a police report."
"I know it may not be easy but try."
"Don't let this die down."
"You are owed your LV bag."
"Pls update us. Be safe" - aintnobaby
"LV keeps track of all of their customers in their database."
"They might be able to look up the date code of your bag."
"Include this info in the police report."
"It could help in the process of recovering your bag, especially if it was sold to a pawn shop or consignment shop."
"Include such information (and receipt/box if you still have those)."
"Louis Vuitton can definitely get you a new receipt of your purchase if you ask."
"I do not believe the bag was 'damaged' or lost."
"I have a Speedy from 1989 that I ABUSE."
"My cousin once stole my grandmother's jewelry."
"Some pieces were found at a local pawn shop along with a photocopy of my cousin's ID, because they document people who sell things to them."
"If it was pawned and the pawn shop owner has documentation that your mother or friend pawned it, bam, that's the proof you need if you want to press charges."
"Of course, that's if it were pawned."
"But no way the bag is 'damaged' after one day of usage."
"LV bags are suburb quality, and you'd have to destroy the bag on purpose."
"I agree, something fishy is going on."
"NTA" - BeerGoddess84
"File a police report: 'borrowing' without permission is theft."
"Your mother stole your bag." - CanadianJediCouncil
"I would tell her that if she does not give your bag now, I would call the police and for stealing." - Catwomaninred
"Take your mom's friend to small claims if possible (I'm not from the US, so I don't known if that's an option for a minor)."
"And report the bag as stolen since you never gave permission to her to use it."
"That way, you also find out from mom's reaction to the news if she really gave the purse to her friend who lost it or if she or her friend just sold it." - Every_Criticism2012
"So, your mom steals from you, then grounds you for it?"
"Go to the cops."
"This level of abuse shouldn't be overlooked."
"When you're 18, move out and never go back." - Throwaway3082023
Unfortunately for OP, her fellow Redditors feel there is more to the story.
Hopefully, she can take some of their advice and be compensated in some way for her loss.
New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts
There's nothing quite like the feeling of going through all the work to prepare a fun celebration, just for someone to undo it with an unkind or gross comment.
That feeling just gets worse when it's your birthday, and that comment was made by someone who's supposed to care about you, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Rude-Pepper-2389 had recently given birth and decided to have a special birthday celebration to reconnect with her loved ones after becoming a mom.
When her father-in-law stopped by unexpectedly and then made comments about her body, the Original Poster (OP) was left so uncomfortable that it ruined the whole celebration for her.
She asked the sub:
The OP wanted to have a special birthday celebration after her baby was born.
"I currently have a five-month-old and haven’t really been taking care of myself or dressing up since having the baby."
"It’s my (25 Female) birthday, and we were having friends over at our house for a private dinner to celebrate."
"My husband (24 Male) and I have been together since we were 18."
"I decided to put on this new silk shirt I got, which, admittedly, was low-cut, but I felt cute in it and felt comfortable around the friends we were having over."
Everything was fine until the OP's father-in-law (FIL) stopped by unexpectedly.
"My husband's dad decided to stop by on his way home from work."
"I will say, he was likely drunk. He works two hours away and proudly told my husband he's down to only four beers on his drive home each day... so, that's healthy."
"When he came in, I was on the couch with my baby propped up beside me, bottle feeding him. Keep in mind, I am not breastfeeding, so no, my breasts are not any larger right now."
"My husband's dad leaned down to look at the baby and then suddenly shouted, 'D**n, son, she could knock you out with those things in bed! Like cracking two coconuts together.'"
"This was fully and undoubtedly in reference to my breasts."
The OP was shocked by the comment and very uncomfortable.
"It made me deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed."
"I was so stunned, I couldn’t even process what he said to me, and our friends just stared at me, blinking."
"He’s a redneck, so he's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years, but this just seems to take the cake, as it was the first time it was directed at me."
"When he stepped out, I told my husband he needed to speak to him, and that the comment wasn’t okay."
"I went to change clothes and decided to never ever wear that shirt again."
"When I brought it up to my husband, he said he didn't hear the comment at first, but then he laughed when I told him what he said. He's always laughed when he feels awkward and has always had a hard time standing up to his parents in any capacity."
"When he and my father-in-law spoke, my FIL just said, 'I shouldn’t have said that to her, I know how she can be,' which just feels even more like I’m just being dramatic."
"Since then, I think my husband just wants me to drop it and move on, truthfully."
The OP wasn't sure what to do after what happened.
"This genuinely ruined my entire night. Am I just too sensitive, or was this an inappropriate thing to say?"
"There's also been no apology since then. This happened on Thursday, and then my father-in-law came by again on Friday with flowers to wish me a happy Mother's Day before Mother's Day Sunday."
"I think that was his way of trying to just breeze past the awkwardness. He's never gotten me a gift the whole seven years I've known him, so the flowers were odd. But I still feel really uncomfortable."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that her father-in-law's comments were rude and just plain creepy.
"NOR at all. That was really rude of him. Anyone would be offended." - Bookbringer
"NOR. That’s firmly in the category of what should be an 'inside thought,' and we should learn what those are at a much younger age than this guy is."
"F**king h**l, this is an absolutely mental thing to say out loud, let alone to your daughter-in-law." - Electronic-Fennel828
"FIL is an AH. I love that you think his being a redneck excuses it, but d**n. Even rednecks should know better than to speak that way to their son's wife."
"What does your husband have to say? Does he understand how breath-takingly rude his father was, or is he Team 'That's Just How He Is'?"
"I'd go very low contact with the old perv. NOR, he put you in an uncomfortable position with his crude remark. Is he married? I'd tell the MIL. I'd tell the whole family. Yes, it's embarrassing, but he is the one who should be embarrassed. Don't accept his non-apology." - Top-Bit85
"Maybe I’m desensitized after having large breasts since I was 13 (I’m 28 now), but I let out a little snort based on how immature of a joke it was. I’d simply tell FIL, 'Yes, I know, my boobs are big,' and move on."
"That said, I would never make such a comment about another person's body. Just because I'm technically fine with it doesn't mean I assume anyone else is!"
"Not everyone is the same, and if OP felt uncomfortable, she’s NOR. Her body, her boundaries." - Both_Original2094
"I’m sorry. That’s upsetting. My father is like this with his father. Even if it’s very offensive comments, he’s uncomfortable and has problems confronting him. It sounds like your husband isn’t going to have a talk with him, which is hurtful."
"I would explain to your husband how uncomfortable the situation was for you and that it’s a serious matter, especially if it happens again. And if he still tries to brush it off, then I would tell him you no longer want your FIL coming to your home."
"It’s your life, too, and he’s not the one being hurt here, you are." - w_coastultraviolence
Others were specifically angry about the tactics the father-in-law used to try to get out of trouble.
"Seriously? Saying 'I know how she can be' is a classic way to blame the victim for having boundaries. It’s your birthday, not a Hooters convention. What a creep. If he can’t look at the baby without checking out your breast, he shouldn't be invited to the house." - Specific_Parsnip3264
"'I know how she can be' is so f**ked up. He's the one being a disgusting person. You need to shine up your husband's spine to properly call him out at the time next time, because there will be a next time." - dancepantz
"The bit that pisses me off the most is, 'I know how she can be,' which is his way of making it her problem that she doesn't like her FiL sexualising her in front of her friends." - Outside-Partait-8935
"The 'joke' comment is gross, but that follow-up comment is infuriating. NOR, OP. But this guy will be in your life for a while, so firmly & calmly shutting this stuff down is completely appropriate."
"I'd wear the d**n shirt again to the next family function and look him right in the eyes next time!" - RationalFish
"When we let things like this slide for others, it's not long before it ends up on our doorstep, and of course, nobody says anything because keeping the peace is the norm. It doesn't have to be getting into their face and yelling abuse back. Just a comment such as, 'Well, that's super tacky to say,' or asking them why they'd say that." - Kattnapped
"The OP said, 'He's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years... but this is the first time it was directed to me.'"
"Normalise calling stuff out when they are talking about others, and they won't feel so comfortable saying it to you."
"It's a gross thing for him to say, but I guess him buying you flowers is his way of saying sorry."
"Sounds like you are in the situation of a lot of new mothers, where you suddenly realise this stuff matters because you want better influences for your child, and better support for yourself. NOR." - Jumpy-Jello-
Now, about that shirt...
"Please re-think your decision to never wear the cute shirt again, girl!! It's something that you liked very much because it made you feel good about yourself. Don't let some backwoods id**t ruin that for you."
"Wear that shirt till it's worn out and can't be worn anymore!! You should be able to feel good about yourself in whatever you like to wear."
"Your husband should have immediately checked his father, not waited until he was told to do so after his father left the room. In front of everyone there, your husband should have told his father not to ever speak about you or to you in that kind of manner, and if his father doesn't like it, he knows where the door is."
"Hubby should have called him out for his response as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were not the problem; his dad was. This comes down to your husband needing to protect his wife, and he didn't do that." - Lynzo141982
"If he is a redneck, like you said, he won't outright apologize, but flowers are his way of saying sorry."
"I hope he won't say anything again, or else you can expect a nicely tended garden for at least a year."
"About your top, I hope you can wear it again. It takes a lot to feel cute, being a new mum."
"If not, get some fabric dye, dye the top a different color, and embroider a flower on it. This makes the top new, different, and every time you wear it, you can use the mantra ... I'm cute, I don't care what anyone says."
"You've got this!!" - No_Kangaroo_6637
Even if the father-in-law was joking and meant no harm, this is one of those situations where he needs to admit that his joke did not land well, he did cause harm, and he needs to apologize. Just because some people enjoy joking in that manner does not mean that everyone will be comfortable with it, and it's important to respect everyone's boundaries and zones of comfort.