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Mom Reveals Husband Was Broke When They Met After Stepdaughter’s Gold Digger Insult

Two angry young women arguing at home during the day.

Remarrying and blending family isn’t always easy.

It can be especially difficult for adult children to acclimate.

Nobody can replace a deceased parent.

So these new relationships can often be tainted by discomfort.

These feelings can fester and turn into dramatic situations.

Redditor Good-Face1725 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for telling my husband’s kids how broke he was when we met after they insinuated I was a golddigger?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I’ve 38 F[emale] been married to my husband Rob 52 M[ale] for 4 years now.”

“My husband’s late wife died 1 year before we met and we dated for 2 years before marriage.”

“He has 2 kids 28 (Madison) and 26 (Brett).”

“Note I am not calling them my stepkids because they explicitly told me I am not their stepmom, just their dad’s wife.”

“I didn’t play a part in raising them so I’m ok with that.”

“It’s always been a tense between us.”

“I’ve tried my best to be kind to them and have been generous when I can be, but they are very cold with me.”

“Being a child of divorce, I can partially relate to a parent moving on so I try not to force anything.”

“Madison recently got engaged and we are excited about it.”

“Everyone was over recently and she asked about a wedding budget from us and Rob told her he was able to contribute 10k.”

“She had bigger hopes for her wedding than this so she was upset and kept asking for more.”

“Rob however is still working hard on building his savings back up.”

“Before his late wife died, he basically wiped out his cash savings, had to cash out his 401k, and even took a small mortgage on his house to cover medical costs as well as life expenses since he had to cut back on working.”

“Eventually he had to drop that job for a more flexible but lower paying one, so this 10k is actually really generous from him.”

“Rob went to run an errand and it was just me and his kids.”

“Madison then asked me if I was going to give any in addition to what her dad was giving.”

“I told her we were a marital unit, and that’s what we discussed together as a reasonable amount to contribute.”

“She then said ‘I should have known, obviously you married an older man for what he had, not for what you could give.'”

“I knew she didn’t like me, but this is the most flat-out rude thing she ever said.”

“I kinda lost it and said, ‘Excuse me, who do you think has been paying the second mortgage your dad took out to pay his debts?'”

“The truth of the matter is I make more than her father by a large margin.”

“I have no debt, and have been paying 70% of the household bills the whole time we’ve been married.”

“The 10k we’re giving her is available because I’ve been able to subsidize her father’s living expenses the last few years.”

“I made it clear that not only am I, not a golddigger, I’m literally wealthier than my ‘older husband.'”

“She called me stuck up after this and stormed out.”

“Then she called her dad later and said that I told her that I blamed her mother for being sick for her not having a better wedding budget.”

“I told him what happened, and he was mad at her. He also said I shouldn’t have shared his financial details with his kids.”

The OP was left to wonder:

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. She sounds like a spoiled brat.”

“If my parents gave me $1000, let alone 10k for anything I’d lose my mind.”

“The fact that her reaction was to cry and ask for more shows she actually sees your husband the way she said you see him; as a bank account.”

“She likely said what she did out of projection.” ~ Head_Bed1250

“NTA, but you have to know that you’re either stuck up or a gold digger to a child (even an adult one) who has determined to make you a wicked stepmother.” ~ Petefriend86

“She’s old enough to hear it, and this is also a practical step.”

“It’s important that she and her sibling understand his financial standing.”

“Not to be a downer, but eventually if he passes (hopefully not for a long time), you don’t want to be facing accusations that you’ve robbed an inheritance.” ~ LouisianaGothic

“This is such a good point.”

“My parents have discussed their finances and ‘what if we were gone tomorrow’ plans with me since I was 16.”

“Their dad should have already discussed this with his adult kids (not necessarily with the same transparency my parents do), at least the basics like can kids expect an inheritance or will dad need financial help in old age?”

“He shouldn’t wait for big life events to have this talk.” ~ JlazyY

“This should have been discussed before OP even came into the picture.”

“‘You know, I would gladly do it over again to support your mother through her illness.'”

“‘But, please be aware that any money we had saved for your future, such as weddings, etc.'”

“‘Is pretty much gone due to medical bills and funeral costs.'”

“‘I’ll help as much as I can, but please don’t have high expectations as most of my extra money is going to need to go toward rebuilding my retirement..'” ~ speakeasy12345

“And, in my opinion, he should add in an aside about how much of a help OP has been with his financial situation.”

“It won’t improve the kid’s relationships with OP, but maybe hearing that from their dad’s mouth will make them ease up on the vitriol a little.”

“Calling someone names is one thing, but nothing grinds my gears like demonstrably false character assassinations.” ~ TheMagnificentPrim

“Sounds like my step-demon.”

“My 2nd husband’s youngest.”

“She treats (treated) me like a meal ticket.”

“I’m a L[icensed] V[ocational] N[urse] and have been for 27 years this year.”

“He pushed to take life insurance out before he passed, but working in the prison system, I couldn’t get access in our system to do it.”

“He died 6 mos later with no life insurance.”

“She accused me of keeping EVERYTHING for myself.”

“Now… Her father was sickly most of our marriage, and I worked my a** off for what we had.”

“She still wants ‘her share’ of it.”

“She has been told that her share of nothing is nothing.”

“When we married, he had just been laid off.”

“When he did go back to work, he could no longer do the job and thus 7 years trying to get disability and denied every time.”

“This ‘child’ of OP should be thankful that her stepmom loves her father enough to help with her wedding costs.”

“She could and should be concerned about her father’s financial future, but she sounds like she just doesn’t give a rip about it.”

“This is what happens when entitled adult children don’t get their way.”

“I feel that OP did the right thing, BUT should have maybe not said anything about the bio mom’s passing causing the financial situation.”

“Those kids are vipers and need to grow the eff up!!”

“I’ve been there and still struggle with one of my steps (the youngest).”

“I hope it gets better OP!!” ~ why_again1972

“He needs to be forthright with his kids about his financial situation given it is now negatively impacting you.”

“What a stupid comment from ‘Madison’ to say that you blamed their mother’s death on a smaller-than-desired wedding budget.”

“No, that’s just life, honey.”

“Nobody is punishing her because of her mom’s passing.”

“But the reality is that their mother’s passing did a number on their dad’s financial situation.”

“It’s cause and effect, not someone having it out for her.”

“She should be thanking you because it seems to me like what her dad would be able to do for her wedding would be much less, or $0, had he not met and married you. NTA.” ~ Fuzzy_Garden_8420

“NTA. He should have shared his financial situation himself.”

“She is an adult and is old enough to understand that medical expenses are the reason there is not a larger saving.”

“This should not feel like blaming the sick person.”

“This is a sad reality of for-profit health care.” ~ eirly

“NTA but your husband needs to have stern words with his kids.”

“If he doesn’t have a word about calling you a gold digger and then spouting lies, you maybe need to consider whether he does actually love and respect you.”

“Perhaps he’s the gold digger!!” ~ Tasty_Doughnut_9226

“NTA. Next time Madison calls you a gold digger, tell her to hold the mirror up to her own face because asking someone to give more money is an AH move.” ~ NotCreativeAtAll16

“I’m going with NTA.”

“You shared his financial situation with his kids, not strangers and as you said, you are a marital unit – his finances are your finances and are therefore yours to share.”

“If your husband doesn’t like you telling people you’ve paid off his debt, then he should repay you.” ~ Pretzelmamma

“NTA, the kids are grown-ups, and now they need to start adulting.”

“She is lucky she got that offer from her dad. Why do these kids act so entitled? UGH.” ~ banjadev

“So the kids were in their late teens/early 20s when their Mom died.”

“Rob should have been clearer with the household finances way back then.”

“But since they probably didn’t see any appreciable changes to the lifestyle, they were unaware he was mortgaged to the hilt and tapped out.”

“He should have had a frank discussion with them when she asked for 10k for her wedding.”

“She is an adult and that is a ridiculous ask.”

“You are NTA.”

“He needs to be clear with kids about his financial situation.” ~ PurpleStar1965

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

It sounds like Madison needed to be put in her place.

You have every right to defend yourself.

Maybe some family therapy could be helpful.

These kids need to hear all the hard truths.

Good luck.