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Mom Shamed For Repurposing Flowers She Got For Son’s Wedding After He Didn’t Use Them

Multi-colored flowers arranged in a vase being held by a woman.

Flowers for major events can cost an arm and a leg.

So that’s why so many people have gotten creative.

Event planners and party throwers have turned to fake flowers or repurposing.

However, these options don’t always sit well with everyone.

Redditor Ok_Magazine_5564 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for giving the flowers I made for my son’s and DIL’s wedding to my own daughter’s baby shower?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I will be as clear as possible.”

“My son and D[aughter]-I[n]-L[aw]’s wedding is at the end of June.”

“Originally they were tight on money and were upset over the price of flowers.”

“It wasn’t in their budget and they had a very specific image.”

“I looked at prices for what they wanted, and it was out of my own budget.”

“I instead offered to do what they wanted with fake flowers.”

“They agreed and sent over images for me to use.”

“I have spent over 500 buying all the stuff and my own time.”

“They turned out great, in my opinion.”

“I got a call about two weeks ago that they won’t need them anymore and that they have the money to have real flowers.”

“That they already booked it.”

“So, in short, all my time was for nothing.”

“My daughter was over and commented on how cute the flowers were.”

“She asked if I could make her some for her baby shower.”

“I explained what happened and told her she could have them.”

“Her baby shower was over the weekend, and she used the flowers on the tables.”

“It was a nice event.”

“After my son and DIL came up to me and we got into an argument.”

“They think I am a jerk for using their flowers for someone else’s event, and now everyone will think they copied my daughter for their wedding.”

“My point was I can give them away to whoever and I don’t think it is a big deal since they were used.”

“That instead of me throwing them out, someone got to use them.”

The OP was left to wonder:


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“Bride: Even though I’m not using your fake flowers, they were based on something I thought about when I was four and now you can’t use them for anything else.”

“Even though I’m not going to use them.”

“They must be for me ever because I’m the only one who has this design and if you let someone else see it then they won’t think it’s my original design.”

“Rest of the world: You don’t own flower designs.”

“You did nothing wrong, and I’m pretty sure they didn’t send you a payment for your time, labor, and effort in making all those centerpieces. Centerpieces.”

“He uses them.”

“You had a nice time and the couple was completely wrong. NTA.” ~ Even_Enthusiasm7223

“I’d rather have the fake flowers myself as I’m sentimental and would want to keep a centerpiece and maybe give away the rest.”

“Plus if someone took the time to do that for me, I’d be so honored I’d never think to change them out. NTA.” ~ cerrylovesbooks

“Was about to say, they sent op images of what they wanted, so they already took someone else’s flowers.”

“With all that personal time and money, you can do what you want with them since they are YOUR flowers. NTA.” ~ isthatsoreddit

“Very rich of them to call them ‘their flowers’ when not one cent was paid to reimburse Mom for her wasted efforts.”

“Also, who the hell is even going to notice they’re the ‘same’ flowers at a wedding taking place weeks later?”

“Who the hell do they think would even care enough to compare?”

“How absurd. NTA.” ~ Fleurtheleast

“I will tell you who.”

“The 12 people that were at both events.”

“The same 12 that liked them at the shower. Gawd.”

“Who Gives AF. NTA OP.” ~ Proper-Green1150

“So they were happy for you to spend your own money and who knows how much time finding the supplies and making the flowers for them but are upset that you didn’t simply throw them out after and your hard work and money went towards something?”

“NTA but you raised an ungrateful son and he’s marrying an ungrateful woman.” ~ MrChaddious

“Some of our silk flower arrangements are about 30 years old.”

“Don’t throw them away!”

“When the dust won’t knock off anymore I give them a shower, and they look almost new. If you do this, turn the arrangement sideways and just do the flowers, so that you don’t fill the container with water.”

“The shower should be adjusted to ‘rain,’ and a handheld shower works the best.”

“Faux trees can be hosed outdoors in the summertime.”

“About the only silk flowers I’ve had to toss were victims of cats.”

“I did save some individual silk flowers from those arrangements, though, that apparently weren’t so tasty. NTA, OP.” ~ Swedishpunsch

“NTA. If they’d paid for all the stuff and for your time and labor, then I might feel differently over you giving them away to someone else.”

“Paying you would have made them ‘their’ flowers.”

“But even then, they would have been wasted if just thrown away.”

“So it would make sense for someone else to get enjoyment from them.”

“But they didn’t pay you, so they were ‘your’ flowers to do as you please.”

“It would have been an absolute waste to just bin them.”

“It’s nice that your daughter got to use them and they didn’t get binned or sit gathering dust.”

“Your son and DIL do not own flower arrangement designs.”

“They can kick up a fuss about looking like they copied your daughter’s design all they want, but nobody owns flower designs.” ~ JaneDoe_83

“Even if they worked closely with OP to develop the design of the flower arrangements and then used that specific design as the instructions for their florist, they’d still be AH for not at least offering to reimburse OP for the expense of the flowers.”

“As it is, they dropped her like a hot potato when the money came in for real flowers.”

“The only similarity is likely to be the color choices, but flowers come in flower colors, and duplications of color schemes are common.” ~ FiberKitty

“NTA. The fun thing about such situations is – if those entitled rude people wouldn’t insult and make a big deal out of it literally nobody would even notice as those events are not about flowers.”

“You might spot some familiar shapes here and there in pictures, but nobody sane gives a crap about that.” ~ forgeris

“NTA. They were not ‘their’ flowers.”

“They were your flowers which you spent time, money, and energy on – and poured love into.”

“The fact that this labor of love wasn’t wasted should be celebrated, not criticized.”

“You’re going to be an amazing grandparent!” ~ cinekat

“They owe you 500 bucks.”

“And an apology.”

“They didn’t provide either.”

“So make sure to post tons of pictures of the fake flowers and the baby shower, and make sure to mention that you arranged and designed them as many times as possible. NTA.” ~ Ok_Stable7501

“Presuming the flowers were of a very specific unique design, I can see how the couple could be upset that the design was used prior to their wedding.”

“I can also understand that they might be concerned that any mutual guests between the shower and the wedding might think they copied the design for the wedding.”

“That being said…”

“1- You offered a huge favor to them by not only buying the supplies but also investing significant time in creating the centerpieces.”

“2- They made it very clear that rather than use what you created, they preferred to go with real flowers.”

“3- Someone else saw your work, loved it, and wanted to use it.”

“They could have graciously accepted your gift, but they decided not to.”

“So they have no say in what you do with it. NTA.” ~ baloo1970

“In all of the weddings and baby showers I have gone to, I honestly can say I have never remembered what the flowers looked like after I left the event space.”

“I do remember if the food was good. NAH.” ~ Right_Weather_8916

“NTA – they didn’t want the flowers anymore.”

“They have no right to say what you do with them now.”

“In fact given that they wasted your time and money they really should take several seats.” ~ jrm1102

“Your son and DIL allowed you to spend your time and money to help them out and then they decided that they didn’t want your help.”

“I’ll assume they didn’t try to compensate you for either your time or your money, so the flowers were yours to give away.”

“They are being very entitled.”

“So glad the beautiful flowers got used instead of wasted!”

“Your son and DIL should have been happy as well. NTA.” ~ Quick-Possession-245

“NTA, they are not ‘their’ flowers.”

“You spent the money and time on something that was going to be a gift.”

“They decided they didn’t want it after the gift had been made.”

“They do not get to come out screaming because you used the things you made (that they did not want) in whatever way you liked.”

“Whether it was giving them to someone else, selling them, or even setting them up to be targets for paintball practice, it was your call.” ~ notiddymothbirlfrend

“NTA. I can’t get over the nerve.”

“You were kind enough to step in and spend that much money, not to mention your time and effort, only to be treated like that. Ugh.” ~ taliawut

“NTA – What were you supposed to do? Throw them away?”

“At least they got used to something.” ~ puntacana24

“Hard to argue otherwise. NTA.” ~ rjtnrva

Well, OP, Reddit is with you.

Your time and money were spent on these flowers.

It’s nice that it didn’t all go to waste.

Hopefully, your son and future DIL will come around.

Good luck.