The prescribed dosages are given for a reason.
When a person decides to add or subtract amounts without much thought, it can be dangerous.
Being in a relationship with a person who struggles with these issues can be painful to live with.
So what does one do?
Redditor General-Sun-7995 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback, so naturally, she came to the "Am I The A**hole"(AITA) subreddit.
She asked:
"AIO for wanting to end the relationship after my B[oy]F[riend] helped himself to my medication?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I (36 F[eamle]) and my boyfriend (37 M[ale]) have been together for 6 years and have known each other for 8."
"We live together, not kids together, but I have a son (8) from a previous relationship, and he has a very close relationship with my BF."
"My BF is a recovering meth addict; he was in rehab when we met, and he’s been clean since."
"He attends Narcotics Anonymous meetings regularly and has completed the 12 steps multiple times."
"I’ve never taken hard drugs and never dated anyone who was involved in hard drugs, so whatever I learned about addiction and recovery, I learned from him."
"We’re both diagnosed with A[ttention]-D[eficit]/H[yperactivity] D[isorder] and take Ritalin."
"We’d sometimes 'borrow' each other’s Ritalin if we misplace ours ."
"It’s usually found in some forgotten place the next day, but from last year, I began noticing him helping himself to my Ritalin."
"He’d burn through his prescribed amount (already near the maximum dosage) then top up with mine."
"I’d often open my bottle and find at least a week’s worth of pills missing."
"He’d sometimes give me a sheepish 'sorry' when I confronted him, and there had been times he’d get defensive and accuse me of not keeping the bottle out of his sight."
"He’s tried at least twice last year to 'reset' himself by going off Ritalin for a month."
"My son was diagnosed with ADHD recently, and my BF told me he’d vowed to quit helping himself to my meds because it goes against his morals to help himself to a child’s medication."
"I asked him how come it didn’t bother him when he helped himself to mine, and he said he didn’t know; it just didn’t cross his mind."
"This month I've been struggling with my ADHD symptoms in particular, and I ended up being 12 days short."
"As soon as I got a new month’s supply, I began tracking and counting the pills closely."
"Today he told me he’s helped himself to '2,' and when I counted the bottle I had TWELVE missing!"
"He’s been double-dosing himself daily on my medication because he’s burned through his month’s supply."
"This was on the back of me, saying I’d leave him if I ever find him helping himself to my meds again, and I have lost all faith in him about not helping himself to my son’s meds."
The OP was left to wonder:
"Am I overreacting?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
"He is not sober!"
"He has changed addictions." ~ AirAlternative294
"NOR. She's furious he's taking her meds."
"I'm furious she has a 'recovering' meth addict who is still doing drugs around her son."
"People, put your kids first for once!" ~ Traditional_Fan_2655
"She needs to file a police report for her stolen meds, because of his broken moral compass, he'll be stealing her kids' meds." ~ Substantial_Shoe_360
"NOR. I think you’re underreacting, OP."
"It doesn’t matter that he HAS BEEN off meth."
"He is not drug-free, he’s just meth-free."
"He should not be on Ritalin."
"Meth and Ritalin are in the same pharmacological class called Central Nervous System stimulants."
"He should be on a different type of ADHD medication entirely."
"There are several non-stimulant meds that are effective for focus and impulse control."
"Which he obviously needs."
"He is an addict, and stealing other people’s medication without a care in the world is addict behavior."
"You have ADHD, and your son has been diagnosed."
"You both need your medication."
"Your son, especially."
"He’s in school and needs to be able to function to his fullest capacity to learn."
"I would suggest locking it up, but how?"
"Ask your BF to move out."
"That’s the only way your medication will be safe."
"Are you in a toxic and unhealthy relationship under the guise of providing your son with a two-parent household?"
"OP, trust me when I say he will not thank you for this if you stay with your BF."
"It’s just not worth the risk."
"Maybe counseling will help your BF, but probably not the relationship."
"Do please seek it for you and your son."
"Prioritize being with someone who is healthy, mentally and physically, who will cherish you both, respect your boundaries, and your relationship."
"Do not accept or settle for anything or anyone less."
"You and your son deserve more." ~ Jaesha_MSF
"He didn’t change addictions - he just switched drugs."
"But drug addicts will take any drugs."
"I would leave and would call his sponsor and let his sponsor know."
"Don’t keep it quiet."
"Tell his doctor too."
"The secrecy is what they live for."
"Bring it out in the open." ~ Signal_Violinist_995
"Ritalin is literally methylphenidate and a stimulant just like methamphetamine."
"I'm shocked that his prescriber has him on that medication, though I guess it could be a little worse if he were on Vyvanse, mixed salts of amphetamine."
"Yikes on a bike." ~ gardengirl99
"He's relapsed and is back in his lying and drug-seeking ways."
"You should begin locking your Ritalin in a safe or other secure location."
"If you begin to run out and need to ask for more, you're going to get labeled a drug seeker."
"Don't let him impact your life like that. Until he's ready to admit he needs help again, he's not safe for you or your kid." ~ writing_mm_romance
"I’m sorry, OP, but you need to dump him."
"He’s never going to stop taking your meds, and he absolutely will start taking them from your son. NOR."
"You are vastly underreacting."
"You should be calling the police." ~ Capable-Limit5249
"He's not smoking meth, that's true!"
"But he is knowingly making you more unstable by f**king with your meds, forcing you to cold turkey off your own medication because he can't be bothered to go to the doctor and explain what's going on."
"I really believe it's only a matter of time before he goes after your kid's meds."
"As others have said, he's swapped addictions."
"He's stealing from you, blaming you for keeping your meds in his reach, and lying to your face about it until you come at him with receipts."
"A breakup is not an overreaction here." ~ Celestial_Duckie
"NOR and he is in active addiction, please leave him so your kids don’t think this is ok." ~ This-Assumption4123
OP came back to chat...
"ETA: thanks to everyone for your support!"
"It really helped me as I typed out this post to be able to articulate my thoughts and recognise patterns."
"Couple of things to clarify..."
"* We’re not in the US, and while Ritalin IS a controlled substance in my country, we have notoriously lenient drug laws, so I doubt I’d go to prison for this, but I get it, this is not right, and I agree."
"* I have never taken hard drugs in my life, nor associated with anyone with addiction, so it’s all new to me."
"I take offense at the insinuation that I somehow also abuse Ritalin or meth, I don’t."
"* He’s only been to rehab once and has been drug-free since, as far as I know."
"I was very careful who I exposed my son to, and they didn’t have any interaction until he was a couple of years post-rehab with an established track record of a prosocial lifestyle."
"He’s been very patient and paternal to my son and my voice for reason when it comes to parenting (I’m much more likely to lose my cool with my son than he is)."
"We don’t take our meds in front of my son, and he does not get high off the Ritalin; there’s no behavioral change when he’s on it, so I take offense to the implication that I knowingly allowed someone who posed a danger around my son."
"* He was diagnosed with ADHD at 18, before starting meth use."
"I was diagnosed aged 30."
"He has some previous convictions, such as D[riving] U[nder] the I[nfluence] and possession of marijuana (illegal in my country), and I’m aware of that, as far as I know, he has no history of violence toward partners."
"But I am aware that it’s a dangerous time in terms of risk of I[ntimate] P[artner] V[iolence], so I won’t be naive either."
"So I had a talk with him, and he wasn’t keen on speaking to his sponsor about his behavior."
"He reasons that people gossip too much in N[arcotics] A[nonymous]."
"Long story short, after rereading everyone’s input, I realized that he crossed my boundaries, and it’s been a pattern in our relationship that boundaries get crossed until someone becomes hysterical, and that’s when we finally start respecting them."
"And I acknowledge that I have been guilty of it too."
"He’s asked for a few days to digest the news."
"My son is with his dad this weekend, and I feel more sad that I couldn’t give my son the two-parent household he wanted."
"It sucks right now, but I have support and resilience to pull through."
"Thanks to everyone for your input and kind words."
So sorry you have to deal with this, OP.
Addiction and recovery can be so very difficult.
You're right to put yourself and your son first.
Reddit has your back.
Stay strong and good luck.
