Finding yourself in an unexpected situation, like running out of gas or getting a flat tire can be both stressful and scary. Luckily roadside assistance exists.
But what if someone who claims to love you was close by? Should roadside assistance be necessary? What's a good excuse for not helping out?
A young woman turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback after her boyfriend passed on helping her.
Straight-Lie4616 asked:
"AITA for telling my boyfriend he was rude for not fixing my tire?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"Yesterday I (22, female) was having really really bad cramps at work and by the time I got off work they were pretty bad."
"On my way back home my tire blew out. I pulled over and realized I was right by my boyfriend’s exit, like a couple minutes from his place. I called AAA and they said it would be about an hour, but it ended up being around an hour and a half due to traffic."
"So I called my boyfriend (24, male). I told him what happened and that I felt really sick from the cramps, I told him I was basically hunched over in my seat, and asked if he could come help me. He knows how to change a tire and I have a spare in my trunk."
"He said he had just gotten home and was in the middle of a game with his friends. He said since AAA was already on the way, I’d probably be okay waiting."
"I said I understood, but told him I was in a lot of pain and asked if he could come after the game then, since I was still going to be there a while. He kind of paused and then said he probably couldn’t, that he was planning to just stay on with his friends for the night and didn’t really want to go back out."
"I got upset. I told him I was stuck on the side of the road, in a lot of pain, and it would take him like 20 minutes to come help me and I could be on my way instead of sitting there for a super long time. He said he gets that, but AAA was already coming and he didn’t think it made sense for him to come out."
"I waited for a while and texted him again later saying I still felt even worse and asking if he was sure he couldn’t come, even just to help me real quick. He said he didn’t think it was necessary and that I’d be fine waiting."
"I ended up sitting there for around an hour and half total before AAA finally came. My cramps were still awful and I just felt kind of miserable and alone the whole time."
"Later he texted asking if I got home okay, and I said yeah but I was kind of upset he didn’t come. He said he thought it wasn’t a big deal since I wasn’t in danger and there was already a plan."
"I told him it still would’ve meant a lot if he came, especially since he could’ve helped me fix it way faster, and because I felt really bad physically."
"He said he understands that now, but at the time didn’t think it was necessary."
"I told him I would have never left him in a situation like that and that I just felt uncared for and that he was super mean. He told me I was overreacting and being annoying and we haven't spoken since."
The OP summed up why they might be the a**hole in their situation.
"I might be the a**hole for calling my boyfriend rude when he technically didn't have to come out."
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
"Yeah, 'he understands that now' because that was supposed to placate you and require nothing from him because it was all over. He knew what was going on during it too, but caring about it then would require effort from him whereas understanding now requires nothing."
"Dump this loser or this won't be the last time 'he understands now'." ~ MohawMais
"Your boyfriend just showed you that he will not be there for you when things are tough or inconvenient. I'm sure he's happy to be there when things are fun and easy, but he will not stick around in bad situations."
"Do what you will with that knowledge." ~ ahhwell
"I'd get it if you didn't want to change a tire on the side of the highway because it can be dangerous but at least go be with her or something the fact he basically just went 'Dang that sucks good luck with that' speaks volumes." ~ A_Trash_Homosapien
"He's not obligated to fix your tire even though it would have been nice. By the same token you're not obligated to remain his girlfriend if you would rather date someone who has your back."
"If I was your boyfriend I would have shown up with my friends and helped you out, because my friends are amazing and I choose to remain friends with people who share my values. NTA." ~ EveningCollection744
"If I got a call asking if I could help change out a tire and I was in the middle of playing a game with friends, I would have rounded up the boys, turned the game off, and we would have gone to her to figure it all out together. Damn a game, my girlfriend is on the side of the road alone and in pain." ~ BluBeams
"I've had friends get in touch with me because they've blown a tyre and couldn't change it themselves. I've dropped what I'm doing to go help them because they're people I care about and I don't want them waiting around on the side of the road. And that's not even taking into account cramps."
"He doesn't have to do it, but I wouldn't want to be with someone who wouldn't want to do something like that for me. NTA."
"I hate how OPs partner treated them but I love seeing all the people on the comments talking about how they drop everything to help their friends. This is the love for others that I want to see in the world." ~ Broad-Newt-5028
"My husband would drop everything, pack all of his friends in the car who wanted a field trip, and would drive an hour if needed to come help regardless of what the situation is."
"And he’s an absolute homebody. He’s refused to go to the grocery store because we have ramen and who needs real food anyways."
"But I guaran-f*cking-tee that if I called asking for help because I was stuck on the side of the road he’d be there asap."
"Boyfriend might not be obligated to help, but I wouldn’t be obligated to keep him after that either. That’s not partner material in my eyes."
"Obligatory I would also drop everything if my husband called me for help. I don’t care what it is. That’s what being in a partnership is." ~ Original_Alarins
"I had a very similar situation to this just last weekend, and me and my friends jumped in a car and went and picked my girlfriend up from her broken down car. One of my friends even waited with her car for it to be recovered."
"OP's boyfriend doesn't have his priorities straight and sounds like a deadbeat. Dude is a loser." ~ wowohwowza
"He had no obligation to come save you, but the times it happened to me, my husband has dropped what he was doing, even leaving work once when I was shunted from behind while pregnant, and come to save the day. Your boyfriend isn't husband material." ~ Bubbly-Wallaby-2777
"my brother got into an accident on his way to work. you bet your booty i woke up at 5am to go take care of my little brother. i have also driven to boost his car at whack a** hours. i left school in the middle of the day because my baby brother fell and wasn’t feeling good. i drove 45 minutes to pick up my niece when she was having a sh*tty day. there is nothing more important to me than the people i love when they’re in an emergency. big or small." ~ CommonWest9387
"What a useless waste of space your boyfriend is. Can't break off from gaming to help you out with an emergency, albeit not a super serious one. Why do you stay with him? I think we'd all be fascinated to know. NTA." ~ PurpleEmotional1401
The general consensus was OP should leve her boyfriend on the side of the road.
For anyone who may need the knowledge on how to change a tire, actor, producer, entertainer, and Supermodel of the World RuPaul Charles offers a handy tutorial on YouTube.
And now we all know how to change a tire.
