Just because someone’s a neighbor, doesn’t mean everybody has to be friends.
Some people are just difficult and everyone has to learn to co-exist.
But every once and awhile, people can’t help but speak up.
And that can lead to some chaos.
Case in point…
Redditor narniais4lovers wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for not taking the next elevator when a mom with 7 children demanded it of me?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“A neighbor of mine has 7 children and they are all under the age of 9.”
“I have seen her many times, and she always demands people take the next elevator because ‘she has kids who need to get home.'”
“She has physically shoved herself into the elevators and forced people out, including my elderly father.”
“I was on my way home from work – I take public transit – and she was on the bus with all the kids.”
“They were screaming and running up and down the aisle; basically making such a scene that the driver asked her to have the kids sit down before they get hurt.”
“Sure enough, one of the kids was spinning around one of the poles and bumped her head as we were going over the train tracks near my place and started screaming.”
“She looked like she was physically okay, no blood, not even a red mark, but she screeched the rest of the ride to the building.”
“I was first in the building and hit the elevator button.”
“She came in with her double stroller and her gaggle of children running around her as I stepped into the elevator and held the door for her.”
“She told me that I would have to get out and wait for the next one.”
“I said ‘excuse me?'”
“She heavy sighed at me and said ‘my stroller won’t fit in with you in here. Get out and take the next one.'”
“I refused, saying I would make myself as tiny as I could but I was staying in the elevator.”
“She became irate, pointed at her kids, and said ‘Do you see what I’m dealing with here?!'”
“I said I understood that it’s overwhelming but I had worked a long day and I needed to get home.”
“I said ‘in or out, because I’m going now.'”
“She pulled her stroller and kids out, calling me an a**hole the entire time.”
“A few people were waiting behind her and got in with me.”
“Two began thanking me for standing up to her because she does this ‘all the time.'”
“But the other one called me an a**hole for not being sympathetic to her situation.”
“I don’t think people should have to make constant accommodations for people just because they have kids.”
“Especially when they’re rude and demanding.”
“But AITA here?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“I was scared of this comment section.”
“It’s literally the flip of a coin whether or not you’re going to be branded a child hater and told you’re TA.”
“Or have the nice side of Reddit say NTA and empathize NTA.”
“She sounds super entitled, she needs to take responsibility for her choices, and move or wait for the next lift.” ~ MrStevenstone
“Unless I am really swayed by other people’s reasoning.”
“I always stick by my decision upon reading the post and OP’s comments.”
“NTA for OP.”
“Having 7 kids doesn’t mean everybody else needs to accommodate mom for 18 plus years.”
‘Good for you for sticking to your guns.” ~ Easy-Concentrate2636
“So someone called you an AH after they took advantage of being able to get on the elevator bc you stuck up for yourself? NTA.” ~ throwawayobvi123765
“This, but OP should have said to the person on the elevator, who said OP was the AH that they didn’t need to get on the elevator with him then.”
“And could have waited for the third elevator after the mum with the kids. NTA.” ~ Ok_Possibility5715
“NTA – I am soooooooo sick of entitled parents.”
“Just because you breed does NOT entitle you to special treatment.” ~ SeasonMystic
“NTA. She made the choice to have kids.”
“More than that, she made the choice to have seven of them.”
“Seriously, that is just too many, especially within a 9-year time span.”
“If she makes that choice, tough luck if it is hard, but that is what she chose.” ~ Blake_Raven
“I don’t think it excuses her behavior and I still hold that OP is NTA.”
“I am all for judging her for being rude.”
“But I try not to judge large families because you never know how they came to be a large family.”
“Maybe she has custody of nieces/nephews or siblings.”
“But she could be completely overwhelmed and still not be rude.”
“She can request someone take the next elevator, but they also can say no.” ~ boatymcboatface22
“NTA. Especially since she has a history of kicking people out of the elevator?”
“Like TF is wrong with this lady.” ~ hellomother**ckheyhi
“NTA, you got on the elevator first and she can wait.”
“She reeks of entitlement and I sure hope those kids don’t grow up to be like her.”
“She really needs someone to tell her that she can’t always be given a pass because she 7 young children.”
“She chose to have those kids so she needs to deal with the consequences.” ~ IDKguessthisworks
“That kind of ‘parenting’ makes my blood boil!”
“I am one of eleven siblings in my family, though a bit more spread out in general.”
“There are 28 years between the oldest and the youngest.”
“And there were times my mom would be out and about with several of us (plus a couple of cousins she would babysit a lot of the time, too).”
“She’d have the double stroller, and be carrying a baby in a Snugli on her chest, with the older ones staying close to her.”
“She would never, and I mean NEVER, have allowed us to act up like that on the bus or anywhere else!”
“We were required to stay in arms reach at all times, too, because she worried about something happening to us.”
“I can’t even imagine one of us slapping somebody on the bus, but if we had, she sure wouldn’t have been laughing!”
“She would have made us apologize, she’d have been apologizing profusely, and we would have been in trouble when we got home!”
“I just can’t imagine a mom (or any parent) thinking that kind of behavior is funny!”
“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that stuff! Oh, and NTA!” ~ Disastrous-Solid-234
“NTA. If she touches anyone again, you’d should speak to building management about her hostility and potentially the police.”
“An elderly person could fall and easily break a hip.”
“Happens all the time without being shoved.” ~ SpeakableFart
“NTA… but it’s quite funny that the third person called you an a**hole but had no problem getting on the elevator once the lady and her kids came out.” ~ Just_Because28
“NTA. She created the problem when A.”
“She chose to keep f**king without birth control.”
“Yes, I know sometimes it happens even if you’re on BC, but 7 times? Come the f**k on.”
“And B. She chooses to not establish/enforce boundaries with her kids and prevent them from being freaking hooligans.” ~ RoseTyler38
“NTA. I have 5 kids and it was my choice to have my gaggle of spawns.”
“That means if anyone is inconvenienced by them it’s me and/or my spouse.”
“Elevator too full to fit our family?”
“We wait for the next one since we take up much more space and that’s no one else’s problem.”
“You don’t get to reproduce and make it someone else’s responsibility to accommodate you and your children.”
“Mom sounds like she needs some parenting classes.”
“Those children are running her life instead of her actually parenting them.” ~ Nerdy-by-nature829
“NTA. It’s not your fault that she’s got way more kids than she can handle.”
“Plus, you were even nice enough to hold the door open for her and give her a chance to ride with you.”
“Personally, the minute I step inside an elevator, the first button I press is the ‘Door Close’ button.” ~ Zaharizaka
“NTA. I have 3 kids and I’ve had to wait for the next elevator.”
“Kids need to learn patience.” ~ Hopelessly_romantic2
OP came back with a little more detail…
“People are concerned with the way that this woman has treated my father.”
“She did not physically touch him.”
“He was in the elevator and she pushed her stroller in, waved her arms, and yelled at him to get out several times.”
“Because he’s hearing impaired, he was very confused and only knew that she was yelling at him and he got off the elevator.”
“HAD she put her hands on him, charges would have been filed.”
Well OP, this is quite the living situation.
Sometimes neighbors can really cause a raucous.
Reddit seems pretty clear.
You have to speak up for yourself.
Good luck in your future dealing with this family. Stand strong.