Getting children to eat is one of the biggest challenges faced by parents.
Especially if it's trying to get them to eat new and healthy foods.
As a result, parents often need to be very careful when describing the food they are serving their children.
As one dubious description could be all it takes for the child's plate to remain full all through dinner.
Redditor DentistTerrible8768 found what they thought was an economical and delicious way to save money on food.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP)'s wife was less thrilled with this plan, even going on to make off-putting remarks about the food he was providing.
Remarks that were off-putting enough to permanently affect their children's appetite and cause the OP to lose their temper.
Wondering if they were out of line, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for telling my wife she can work overtime for food if she refuses to eat deer meat?"
The OP explained why they simply had enough of their wife's commentary at the dinner table:
"As a lot of you know food is expensive right now."
"I was lucky enough to get a deer."
"I ground it up for ground meat."
"Basically when you cook it you just think it is normal ground meat, especially when you do recipes with spices like tacos."
"My issue is with me wife, we have two kids that are under 7."
"The oldest is fine eating it but my youngest hates it due to my wife."
"The first time I made some meatloaf with it my wife commented that it's Bambi."
"She doesn't hate the taste just when she knows its deer."
"I know this because she liked the tacos and then refused to eat it after my wife made another comment about Bambi."
"She was two tacos in already."
"My wife doesn't like to eat it but I would think she would see that this is to save money and the food is fine."
"That our kids need protein and meat is so expensive right now."
"I have talked to her before but she keeps doing it."
"I want my daughter to actually have some red meat in her diet since we can't afford to keep buying it."
"It came to a head today."
"I made some meat sauce and pasta."
"My youngest was already eating it and my wife came in and made a Bambi comment."
"She refused to eat the rest of her dinner."
"I had enough and told her I expect her to start working overtime for food since she stops people from eating the deer meat."
"We got into an argument about it and she thinks I am a huge jerk and disgusting for the deer meat."
"AITA?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was somewhat divided as to whether or not the OP was the a**hole for clapping back at their wife.
Most agreed that the OP was simply trying to save money and provide for their family, and if the OP's wife didn't like the food they were providing, then they should try to earn a little extra money so they could afford more food.
"You are NTA."
"Your wife is welcome to think that venison is disgusting, but she needs to control her reactions and stop actively sabotaging your kids' reactions to it."
"Or, as you've suggested, find a way to provide an alternative on her own."- EndielXenon
"I'm going to set aside the economic issue here, which is totally valid in and of itself."
"Venison is delicious."
"A full carcass could feed your family meat for a season or more if properly butchered and stored for pennies on the dollar compared to store bought cuts."
"None of this is in question."
"The issue here seems to be the moral imperative of killing and eating a deer."
"Entire cultures, including nearly all of the western world, relied on deer (or other ruminants) hunting for the vast majority of human history in some degree."
"Domestication of cattle and goats shifts this into an industrial scale, but the animals are generally the same in intelligence and behavior."
"Your wife calling deer 'Bambi' as some sort of emotional/moral complaint is ridiculous."
"Cows, pigs, and chickens can be just as playful and friendly as any other creature."
"Unless your wife is not eating any meat, this is just deliberate sabotage for no purpose."
"Deer hunting is needed (at least in the US) to keep populations in line as we have eliminated their primary predators to such an extent that unmanaged deer populations can be ecologically devastating."
"Better we eat what we kill as part of wildlife management than kill and let it go to waste."
"The industrialization of the meat industry has done us few favors as a society, but the worst of it is somehow making the connection between living creature to food taboo."
"Your kids should understand where their food comes from, and appreciate the sacrifice made for our sustenance."
"NTA."- Encartrus
"NTA."
"Many posters aren't commenting on your actual request for judgment so here is mine."
"You're not the AH for telling your wife (and her children's mother) that she could work OT to buy the meat she wants on the table."
"Your frustration with her is evident."
"If your wife wants beef or other meat, she can stop whinging and provide it herself."
"Complaining about venison and behaving like it's a you problem instead of getting what she wants with her paycheck is AH behavior."- Sidneyreb
"NTA."
"Even if your wife refuses to eat the deer it is not fair that she makes those 'Bambi' comments and influences the youngest."
"Some people just do not know to show appreciation and take everything for granted."
"Your wife as well is setting a bad example with those types of comments."
"Food is food."
"Unless a person does not like the food shall not eat."
"But please allow others to enjoy the food."
"Referring the deer to venison adds an exotic touch and might help people enjoy better what they eat."- BreakingMeows
"Your wife is an a**hole for calling it bambi on front of young impressionable kids."
"They form ideas from the parents and this undermines your efforts to feed the family."
"You are doing what you can do feed family and your wife is doing sabotage."
"Id ask her to keep her slick comments to herself and come up with a plan."
"NTA."- BeeYehWoo
There were those, however, weren't entirely convinced that the deer meat was the only way the OP could economically provide food for their family, and their wife deserved to eat food she liked as well.
"The only way you'd not be the AH is if there is no food whatsoever you won't eat or, if there is, you plan to yourself also work overtime to pay for an alternatives."
"People are allowed to have food preferences."
"Even if you don't agree with their reason."
"Even if they happen to be your wife and children."
"If you're concerned about nutritional deficits, you can meet your kids' needs more affordably than meat anyway."
"Peanut butter, eggs, canned tuna, and beans aren't going to require a second job."- POAndrea
"With Chronic wasting disease in deer - I don't blame her."
"She is the smart one here."
"Plus most people have no clue how to make venison taste good."
"I hunt but I would not eat venison unless I have tested it."
"Cooking does not kill the prions."- lokis_construction
"YTA."
'Your wife doesn't have to like venison."
"A lot of people don't for whatever reason."
"You've completely cut out buying meat from your groceries, and it sounds like you eat meat every day, so you're having a good she dislikes every day."
"Telling her to work overtime for food that she likes absolutely makes you an AH."-Away_Negotiation_617
"We eat deer meat in my house and I definitely think YTA."
"Your wife shouldn't have to work overtime just because she doesn't want to eat deer meat."-New_Sprinkles_4073
"YTA."
"Do you typically eat a food item you don't like over and over again?"
"No."
"She doesn't like it, let her buy other food."
"If someone gave my husband a bag of crabs, he wouldn't say I have to eat them or work overtime."
"Like get over yourself. If 2 out of 4 are ok eating the meat then you are still saving money."
"If I was your wife I'd only buy and cook food you don't like for the rest of your life and tell you oh well work more to get what you prefer, so is this the hill you want to die on?"- Constant_Increase_17
It is rather confusing that a parent would discourage their child from eating something they clearly like, simply because they, themselves, don't like the food in question.
However, there are still affordable ways to get food on the table that pleases everyone.
One can only hope the OP and their wife reach a compromise that will ensure no one in their household goes to bed hungry.
















New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts
There's nothing quite like the feeling of going through all the work to prepare a fun celebration, just for someone to undo it with an unkind or gross comment.
That feeling just gets worse when it's your birthday, and that comment was made by someone who's supposed to care about you, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Rude-Pepper-2389 had recently given birth and decided to have a special birthday celebration to reconnect with her loved ones after becoming a mom.
When her father-in-law stopped by unexpectedly and then made comments about her body, the Original Poster (OP) was left so uncomfortable that it ruined the whole celebration for her.
She asked the sub:
The OP wanted to have a special birthday celebration after her baby was born.
"I currently have a five-month-old and haven’t really been taking care of myself or dressing up since having the baby."
"It’s my (25 Female) birthday, and we were having friends over at our house for a private dinner to celebrate."
"My husband (24 Male) and I have been together since we were 18."
"I decided to put on this new silk shirt I got, which, admittedly, was low-cut, but I felt cute in it and felt comfortable around the friends we were having over."
Everything was fine until the OP's father-in-law (FIL) stopped by unexpectedly.
"My husband's dad decided to stop by on his way home from work."
"I will say, he was likely drunk. He works two hours away and proudly told my husband he's down to only four beers on his drive home each day... so, that's healthy."
"When he came in, I was on the couch with my baby propped up beside me, bottle feeding him. Keep in mind, I am not breastfeeding, so no, my breasts are not any larger right now."
"My husband's dad leaned down to look at the baby and then suddenly shouted, 'D**n, son, she could knock you out with those things in bed! Like cracking two coconuts together.'"
"This was fully and undoubtedly in reference to my breasts."
The OP was shocked by the comment and very uncomfortable.
"It made me deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed."
"I was so stunned, I couldn’t even process what he said to me, and our friends just stared at me, blinking."
"He’s a redneck, so he's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years, but this just seems to take the cake, as it was the first time it was directed at me."
"When he stepped out, I told my husband he needed to speak to him, and that the comment wasn’t okay."
"I went to change clothes and decided to never ever wear that shirt again."
"When I brought it up to my husband, he said he didn't hear the comment at first, but then he laughed when I told him what he said. He's always laughed when he feels awkward and has always had a hard time standing up to his parents in any capacity."
"When he and my father-in-law spoke, my FIL just said, 'I shouldn’t have said that to her, I know how she can be,' which just feels even more like I’m just being dramatic."
"Since then, I think my husband just wants me to drop it and move on, truthfully."
The OP wasn't sure what to do after what happened.
"This genuinely ruined my entire night. Am I just too sensitive, or was this an inappropriate thing to say?"
"There's also been no apology since then. This happened on Thursday, and then my father-in-law came by again on Friday with flowers to wish me a happy Mother's Day before Mother's Day Sunday."
"I think that was his way of trying to just breeze past the awkwardness. He's never gotten me a gift the whole seven years I've known him, so the flowers were odd. But I still feel really uncomfortable."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that her father-in-law's comments were rude and just plain creepy.
"NOR at all. That was really rude of him. Anyone would be offended." - Bookbringer
"NOR. That’s firmly in the category of what should be an 'inside thought,' and we should learn what those are at a much younger age than this guy is."
"F**king h**l, this is an absolutely mental thing to say out loud, let alone to your daughter-in-law." - Electronic-Fennel828
"FIL is an AH. I love that you think his being a redneck excuses it, but d**n. Even rednecks should know better than to speak that way to their son's wife."
"What does your husband have to say? Does he understand how breath-takingly rude his father was, or is he Team 'That's Just How He Is'?"
"I'd go very low contact with the old perv. NOR, he put you in an uncomfortable position with his crude remark. Is he married? I'd tell the MIL. I'd tell the whole family. Yes, it's embarrassing, but he is the one who should be embarrassed. Don't accept his non-apology." - Top-Bit85
"Maybe I’m desensitized after having large breasts since I was 13 (I’m 28 now), but I let out a little snort based on how immature of a joke it was. I’d simply tell FIL, 'Yes, I know, my boobs are big,' and move on."
"That said, I would never make such a comment about another person's body. Just because I'm technically fine with it doesn't mean I assume anyone else is!"
"Not everyone is the same, and if OP felt uncomfortable, she’s NOR. Her body, her boundaries." - Both_Original2094
"I’m sorry. That’s upsetting. My father is like this with his father. Even if it’s very offensive comments, he’s uncomfortable and has problems confronting him. It sounds like your husband isn’t going to have a talk with him, which is hurtful."
"I would explain to your husband how uncomfortable the situation was for you and that it’s a serious matter, especially if it happens again. And if he still tries to brush it off, then I would tell him you no longer want your FIL coming to your home."
"It’s your life, too, and he’s not the one being hurt here, you are." - w_coastultraviolence
Others were specifically angry about the tactics the father-in-law used to try to get out of trouble.
"Seriously? Saying 'I know how she can be' is a classic way to blame the victim for having boundaries. It’s your birthday, not a Hooters convention. What a creep. If he can’t look at the baby without checking out your breast, he shouldn't be invited to the house." - Specific_Parsnip3264
"'I know how she can be' is so f**ked up. He's the one being a disgusting person. You need to shine up your husband's spine to properly call him out at the time next time, because there will be a next time." - dancepantz
"The bit that pisses me off the most is, 'I know how she can be,' which is his way of making it her problem that she doesn't like her FiL sexualising her in front of her friends." - Outside-Partait-8935
"The 'joke' comment is gross, but that follow-up comment is infuriating. NOR, OP. But this guy will be in your life for a while, so firmly & calmly shutting this stuff down is completely appropriate."
"I'd wear the d**n shirt again to the next family function and look him right in the eyes next time!" - RationalFish
"When we let things like this slide for others, it's not long before it ends up on our doorstep, and of course, nobody says anything because keeping the peace is the norm. It doesn't have to be getting into their face and yelling abuse back. Just a comment such as, 'Well, that's super tacky to say,' or asking them why they'd say that." - Kattnapped
"The OP said, 'He's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years... but this is the first time it was directed to me.'"
"Normalise calling stuff out when they are talking about others, and they won't feel so comfortable saying it to you."
"It's a gross thing for him to say, but I guess him buying you flowers is his way of saying sorry."
"Sounds like you are in the situation of a lot of new mothers, where you suddenly realise this stuff matters because you want better influences for your child, and better support for yourself. NOR." - Jumpy-Jello-
Now, about that shirt...
"Please re-think your decision to never wear the cute shirt again, girl!! It's something that you liked very much because it made you feel good about yourself. Don't let some backwoods id**t ruin that for you."
"Wear that shirt till it's worn out and can't be worn anymore!! You should be able to feel good about yourself in whatever you like to wear."
"Your husband should have immediately checked his father, not waited until he was told to do so after his father left the room. In front of everyone there, your husband should have told his father not to ever speak about you or to you in that kind of manner, and if his father doesn't like it, he knows where the door is."
"Hubby should have called him out for his response as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were not the problem; his dad was. This comes down to your husband needing to protect his wife, and he didn't do that." - Lynzo141982
"If he is a redneck, like you said, he won't outright apologize, but flowers are his way of saying sorry."
"I hope he won't say anything again, or else you can expect a nicely tended garden for at least a year."
"About your top, I hope you can wear it again. It takes a lot to feel cute, being a new mum."
"If not, get some fabric dye, dye the top a different color, and embroider a flower on it. This makes the top new, different, and every time you wear it, you can use the mantra ... I'm cute, I don't care what anyone says."
"You've got this!!" - No_Kangaroo_6637
Even if the father-in-law was joking and meant no harm, this is one of those situations where he needs to admit that his joke did not land well, he did cause harm, and he needs to apologize. Just because some people enjoy joking in that manner does not mean that everyone will be comfortable with it, and it's important to respect everyone's boundaries and zones of comfort.