Music is something designed to be embraced by the masses.
It makes people feel and love life.
So how is it possible that music can be an issue in relationships?
Music. Sometimes the great divider.
Case in point...
Redditor dougig29 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
"AITA for asking my girlfriend if she could play 'more normal' music at home?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"My girlfriend has an... eclectic music taste that we had a big argument about last night."
"We live together and have a great sound system in the shared areas of the house (kitchen, living room, dining room, etc."
"And when I play music I usually put on an album or two to listen to, straight through."
"My girlfriend likes to put on playlists, and last night she put on, in this order... I honestly just have to write out this playlist because it's that crazy..."
"Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks (a very country song)."
"Then the Thiefing Magipe by Rossini (an intense classical music song)."
"Then Pink Rover by Scene Queen (a weird metal/pop mix)."
"Then Dangerous by Cascada (a 2000s pop song)."
"Then Dogma by KMFDM (this metal/electronic song with spoken word lyrics)."
"After that point, I asked her if she could just pick one playlist or album, or at least something more normal, and put it on because her music was kinda all over the place."
"She said that she was playing a playlist she made, and that it was what she wanted to listen to when she was doing chores."
"I, kinda joking around, but also a little annoyed, asked what kinda playlist it was, because it seemed unhinged."
"She was like 'uhh it's my cleaning playlist?'"
"It's just good music to get up and move around or dance to?"
"Like high energy stuff, you know?"
"I was like 'there's girly pop, classical music, and industrial noise in there though?'"
"And she was like 'yeah that's some of what I like?'"
"I asked her if she could put on something a little less chaotic and she said she was cleaning our kitchen, the least I could do is not talk s**t about her music tastes."
"I was like 'but you've gotta realize it's a little out there, right?'"
"And she was like 'Nah these are all bangers, why are you being such a d**k?'"
"'I don't talk crap when you wanna listen to the same 3 bands everyday.'"
"She was getting really annoyed with me so I dropped it, and she played another hour or so of honestly the most random playlist I've ever heard."
"I feel kinda conflicted, because on one hand her music was weird AF and I feel like it's just common courtesy to play stuff that's at least kinda chill and could be background music in a shared space?"
"Instead of like the most intense or weird song from every genre possible."
"But on the other hand, I kinda got the impression she doesn't love my music either and just never said anything until I did."
"AITA for asking my girlfriend to put something more normal on?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.
"YTA. Cleaner picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole." ~ RetroBibliotecaria
"Mine would have him spinning."
"I alternate video game parody music with theological debates, Broadway showtunes, reddit readings, and Distractible." ~ RazzRedcrest
"Same. I have about 60 days or more with of songs on just my playlist."
"I have more songs, but some are more my S[ignificant] O[ther]s taste than mine."
"I load it all up and hit shuffle."
"I can go from Animaniacs to Mozart to Brad Paisley to Metallica to Riverdance to Weird Al to New Kids on the Block to Elvis to Avenue Q to Linkin Park in one go."
"I love shuffle, you never know what you're gonna get!" ~ aynber
"My late husband would call my transitions 'train wrecks.'"
"Our children grew up with such an eclectic range of music, from Alice Cooper to Xzibit."
"Hearing what they choose to listen to warms my heart."
"YTA, OP. Let people enjoy life." ~ LadyHavoc97
"Same here. I have devotional songs, hindustani classical, western classical, native language songs, gangster rap, 90s pop and dinky weird Bollywood pop in one playlist."
"I love them all. YTA OP." ~ Radkeyoo
"I could understand if he genuinely didn't like the music (blue grass makes my skin crawl, techno gives me a headache)."
"But he doesn't dislike the music."
"Just the order it's played in."
"He needs to Get over that. YTA." ~ StrangledInMoonlight
"Exactly. The G[irl]F[riend] was cleaning the house while the only thing OP was contributing was complaints."
"OP, music is very subjective."
"I find it 'unhinged' that you think the only 'normal' way to enjoy music is to listen to the same albums over and over and over and over again."
"Also, you sound annoying AF since you kept picking and picking and picking at your GF."
"The fact that your GF was cleaning but you chose to spend your time obsessing over her music choices and writing down every track to critique her also sounds 'unhinged.'"
"Why not help her clean since you clearly had nothing else better to do?" ~ Electrical-Date-3951
"No, YTA here."
"She has eclectic musical tastes, nothing wrong with that."
"And she expressed it was helpful for her doing chores and energy FOR YOUR SHARED SPACE."
"Don't be insulting about it." ~ WholeAd2742
"YTA. Dude, have you ever listened to the radio in the car - most channels will play an eclectic list."
"Who the hell cares if the playlist is a bunch of unrelated songs strung together."
"Music does not have to be listened to as one solid unit or one solid genre."
"If you get to enjoy whatever music you want then she has the same right."
"Don't dictate what other people are allowed to listen to in a shared space."
"She has just as much right to the sound system as you do." ~ Suspicious_Lemon9960
"I'm gonna say this once so listen."
"If she needs that music to motivate her to clean, then leave her alone."
"And when she's done cleaning, tell her how good the place looks and that you appreciate her."
"If you can't do that, then YTA." ~ Lina_485
"YTA. She enjoys different music than you do, and she doesn't give you s**t when your bands are on."
"Who said that it's common courtesy to play background music?"
"Some people really don't like chill background music, and your GF wanted to listen to something that helped her get in the zone to be productive."
"Chill background music doesn't do that for some people." ~ johnnydaboss123
"YTA for sure."
"Wtf is is a 'normal' music taste?"
"It's all subjective and what one person likes could be hated by the next."
"You have no right to tell others that they have 'weird' or 'chaotic' tastes when yours are likely just as said adjectives."
"Y'all could just put in earbuds/earplugs or whatever if it's that bothersome." ~ savage_Atlas
"Earbuds... exactly!"
"YTA, because you can you can have a mature conversation about when and where and what music is played in the shared spaces and come to an agreement that works for everyone without making it an insult."
"You can even say that you don't like the playlist because it is distracting when it switches genres so often without being insulting to her."
"But if you get to veto her choices or relegate them to earbuds she gets to do the same to you." ~ the_mysterious_she
"YTA. Post your garbage music taste so we can roast your preferences, too." ~ Slyvester121
"YTA but I have a suggestion: why don't you take over all the chores?"
"That way you won't have to listen to your gf's playlists while she's cleaning."
"Seriously, there is no violation involved when people mix genres of music."
"You might need to loosen up a bit." ~ ParsimoniousSalad
"Neurodivergent brain here, and music in the background is a big deal for me."
"So I really get it if the music being played doesn't work for you."
"But what is also never going to work for you is trying to get it changed by making fun of the music and therefore the person playing the music."
"And honestly, that's what you were doing. You didn't like her music and you made it abundantly clear."
"And you're probably right, she doesn't like your music, but she wasn't rude about it."
"If it's genuinely bothering you (and there are lots of reasons that could be the case) then you both need to come up with a considerate and non-judgemental compromise that works for you both."
"A usual compromise is headphones."
"But that has to be for both of you, not just one of you."
"It's not fair if one person gets to listen to it out loud if it bothers the other person."
"Also, you didn't try to understand her groupings and what made them work for her."
"She probably would have loved if you at least were curious and interested instead of dismissive and judgemental."
"YTA... but there's still time to fix things, apologize for the way you handled it, and talk to her about a way for you both to enjoy your own music tastes without it being a problem."
"And straight up ask her if she was 'putting up' with yours and just being kind and not saying anything."
"And then if she was, thank her for doing what you failed to do and promise to be kinder to her in the future." ~ Calemonium
Well OP Reddit isn't with you here.
It maybe time for you to expand your musical horizons.
People like what they like.
Just like you like what you like.
















New Mom Irate After Father-In-Law Ruins Her Birthday With 'Vulgar' Comment About Her Breasts
There's nothing quite like the feeling of going through all the work to prepare a fun celebration, just for someone to undo it with an unkind or gross comment.
That feeling just gets worse when it's your birthday, and that comment was made by someone who's supposed to care about you, sympathized the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Rude-Pepper-2389 had recently given birth and decided to have a special birthday celebration to reconnect with her loved ones after becoming a mom.
When her father-in-law stopped by unexpectedly and then made comments about her body, the Original Poster (OP) was left so uncomfortable that it ruined the whole celebration for her.
She asked the sub:
The OP wanted to have a special birthday celebration after her baby was born.
"I currently have a five-month-old and haven’t really been taking care of myself or dressing up since having the baby."
"It’s my (25 Female) birthday, and we were having friends over at our house for a private dinner to celebrate."
"My husband (24 Male) and I have been together since we were 18."
"I decided to put on this new silk shirt I got, which, admittedly, was low-cut, but I felt cute in it and felt comfortable around the friends we were having over."
Everything was fine until the OP's father-in-law (FIL) stopped by unexpectedly.
"My husband's dad decided to stop by on his way home from work."
"I will say, he was likely drunk. He works two hours away and proudly told my husband he's down to only four beers on his drive home each day... so, that's healthy."
"When he came in, I was on the couch with my baby propped up beside me, bottle feeding him. Keep in mind, I am not breastfeeding, so no, my breasts are not any larger right now."
"My husband's dad leaned down to look at the baby and then suddenly shouted, 'D**n, son, she could knock you out with those things in bed! Like cracking two coconuts together.'"
"This was fully and undoubtedly in reference to my breasts."
The OP was shocked by the comment and very uncomfortable.
"It made me deeply uncomfortable and embarrassed."
"I was so stunned, I couldn’t even process what he said to me, and our friends just stared at me, blinking."
"He’s a redneck, so he's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years, but this just seems to take the cake, as it was the first time it was directed at me."
"When he stepped out, I told my husband he needed to speak to him, and that the comment wasn’t okay."
"I went to change clothes and decided to never ever wear that shirt again."
"When I brought it up to my husband, he said he didn't hear the comment at first, but then he laughed when I told him what he said. He's always laughed when he feels awkward and has always had a hard time standing up to his parents in any capacity."
"When he and my father-in-law spoke, my FIL just said, 'I shouldn’t have said that to her, I know how she can be,' which just feels even more like I’m just being dramatic."
"Since then, I think my husband just wants me to drop it and move on, truthfully."
The OP wasn't sure what to do after what happened.
"This genuinely ruined my entire night. Am I just too sensitive, or was this an inappropriate thing to say?"
"There's also been no apology since then. This happened on Thursday, and then my father-in-law came by again on Friday with flowers to wish me a happy Mother's Day before Mother's Day Sunday."
"I think that was his way of trying to just breeze past the awkwardness. He's never gotten me a gift the whole seven years I've known him, so the flowers were odd. But I still feel really uncomfortable."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that her father-in-law's comments were rude and just plain creepy.
"NOR at all. That was really rude of him. Anyone would be offended." - Bookbringer
"NOR. That’s firmly in the category of what should be an 'inside thought,' and we should learn what those are at a much younger age than this guy is."
"F**king h**l, this is an absolutely mental thing to say out loud, let alone to your daughter-in-law." - Electronic-Fennel828
"FIL is an AH. I love that you think his being a redneck excuses it, but d**n. Even rednecks should know better than to speak that way to their son's wife."
"What does your husband have to say? Does he understand how breath-takingly rude his father was, or is he Team 'That's Just How He Is'?"
"I'd go very low contact with the old perv. NOR, he put you in an uncomfortable position with his crude remark. Is he married? I'd tell the MIL. I'd tell the whole family. Yes, it's embarrassing, but he is the one who should be embarrassed. Don't accept his non-apology." - Top-Bit85
"Maybe I’m desensitized after having large breasts since I was 13 (I’m 28 now), but I let out a little snort based on how immature of a joke it was. I’d simply tell FIL, 'Yes, I know, my boobs are big,' and move on."
"That said, I would never make such a comment about another person's body. Just because I'm technically fine with it doesn't mean I assume anyone else is!"
"Not everyone is the same, and if OP felt uncomfortable, she’s NOR. Her body, her boundaries." - Both_Original2094
"I’m sorry. That’s upsetting. My father is like this with his father. Even if it’s very offensive comments, he’s uncomfortable and has problems confronting him. It sounds like your husband isn’t going to have a talk with him, which is hurtful."
"I would explain to your husband how uncomfortable the situation was for you and that it’s a serious matter, especially if it happens again. And if he still tries to brush it off, then I would tell him you no longer want your FIL coming to your home."
"It’s your life, too, and he’s not the one being hurt here, you are." - w_coastultraviolence
Others were specifically angry about the tactics the father-in-law used to try to get out of trouble.
"Seriously? Saying 'I know how she can be' is a classic way to blame the victim for having boundaries. It’s your birthday, not a Hooters convention. What a creep. If he can’t look at the baby without checking out your breast, he shouldn't be invited to the house." - Specific_Parsnip3264
"'I know how she can be' is so f**ked up. He's the one being a disgusting person. You need to shine up your husband's spine to properly call him out at the time next time, because there will be a next time." - dancepantz
"The bit that pisses me off the most is, 'I know how she can be,' which is his way of making it her problem that she doesn't like her FiL sexualising her in front of her friends." - Outside-Partait-8935
"The 'joke' comment is gross, but that follow-up comment is infuriating. NOR, OP. But this guy will be in your life for a while, so firmly & calmly shutting this stuff down is completely appropriate."
"I'd wear the d**n shirt again to the next family function and look him right in the eyes next time!" - RationalFish
"When we let things like this slide for others, it's not long before it ends up on our doorstep, and of course, nobody says anything because keeping the peace is the norm. It doesn't have to be getting into their face and yelling abuse back. Just a comment such as, 'Well, that's super tacky to say,' or asking them why they'd say that." - Kattnapped
"The OP said, 'He's said some pretty vulgar stuff over the years... but this is the first time it was directed to me.'"
"Normalise calling stuff out when they are talking about others, and they won't feel so comfortable saying it to you."
"It's a gross thing for him to say, but I guess him buying you flowers is his way of saying sorry."
"Sounds like you are in the situation of a lot of new mothers, where you suddenly realise this stuff matters because you want better influences for your child, and better support for yourself. NOR." - Jumpy-Jello-
Now, about that shirt...
"Please re-think your decision to never wear the cute shirt again, girl!! It's something that you liked very much because it made you feel good about yourself. Don't let some backwoods id**t ruin that for you."
"Wear that shirt till it's worn out and can't be worn anymore!! You should be able to feel good about yourself in whatever you like to wear."
"Your husband should have immediately checked his father, not waited until he was told to do so after his father left the room. In front of everyone there, your husband should have told his father not to ever speak about you or to you in that kind of manner, and if his father doesn't like it, he knows where the door is."
"Hubby should have called him out for his response as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were not the problem; his dad was. This comes down to your husband needing to protect his wife, and he didn't do that." - Lynzo141982
"If he is a redneck, like you said, he won't outright apologize, but flowers are his way of saying sorry."
"I hope he won't say anything again, or else you can expect a nicely tended garden for at least a year."
"About your top, I hope you can wear it again. It takes a lot to feel cute, being a new mum."
"If not, get some fabric dye, dye the top a different color, and embroider a flower on it. This makes the top new, different, and every time you wear it, you can use the mantra ... I'm cute, I don't care what anyone says."
"You've got this!!" - No_Kangaroo_6637
Even if the father-in-law was joking and meant no harm, this is one of those situations where he needs to admit that his joke did not land well, he did cause harm, and he needs to apologize. Just because some people enjoy joking in that manner does not mean that everyone will be comfortable with it, and it's important to respect everyone's boundaries and zones of comfort.