When we think about art education, we might think of abstract art or hyper-realistic art, and we can agree that these are worthwhile and creative forms of art.
But not everyone feels the same way about nude renderings, side-eyed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor AITAHdrawings was proud of his son’s progress in art education and was well aware that his son was working toward realistic renderings. While his sister, niece, and nephew were visiting, his nephews snooped through his son’s room and discovered artwork that featured nude models.
When his sister confronted him about the drawings and demanded that he punish his son for drawing inappropriate pieces, the Original Poster (OP) refused.
He asked the sub:
“AITAH for not punishing my son for his drawings?”
The OP’s son loved to draw and was making great progress in his teen years.
“I (40 Male) have a son (15 Male) who loves to draw. He’s very good at it and spends hours every day practicing. He has dozens of full sketchbooks in his room.”
While visiting, the OP’s niece and nephew snooped and found his son’s artwork.
“Yesterday, we had some family over for dinner, and my sister’s kids (8 Female and 10 Male) snuck into his room and looked through his sketchbooks.”
“They came back holding one of them. It was full of drawings of people either naked or in their underwear, which the kids found very funny.”
“I didn’t know he drew them (he’s very critical of his own art and only shows me drawings he’s very proud of, and these were clearly practices), but I wasn’t bothered by the contents.”
“They obviously weren’t sexual, and they included men and women of all ages and weights in casual and non-provocative poses. He says he was just studying anatomy.”
The OP was surprised when his sister demanded that he punish his son for the artwork.
“My sister, however, was very upset. She was mad I let my son draw pornography and suggested he drew these people because he was attracted to them.”
“I thought that was silly, because he’s gay, and the majority of the drawings were of women. The guys he did draw weren’t what I imagine a 15-year-old boy would be attracted to.”
“She was also upset that her kids were exposed to nudity, which I shut down pretty quickly because they shouldn’t have been snooping anyway.”
The OP and his sister could not come to an agreement.
“My sister is saying I’m ruining my son by letting him look at naked people.”
“She also got our parents involved. My dad agrees that the kids shouldn’t have been in his room but thinks he shouldn’t be looking at that kind of stuff and says I should punish him for drawing it.”
“I just don’t see the big deal and think it’s fine for my son to look at naked people, especially considering they’re just realistic bodies being drawn respectfully.”
“I don’t know much about art but if my son says it helps him improve, I believe him.”
“My mom is entirely on my side.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some pointed out that there was nothing sexual about drawing during art class.
“NTA.”
“My oldest is in art school and on her very first day of school, they had nude models for them to sketch. That’s how artists learn how to draw anatomy, by drawing nude bodies. Clothes are harder to draw/paint so that came later for her. She’s at one of the top art schools in Canada, by the way.”
“Pornography, my a**, lol (laughing out loud). Glad you shut that down and pointed out that her kids were snooping where they shouldn’t be in the first place. Also glad you’re so supportive of your artistic son, keep up the good work.” – Caspian4136
“I draw and when I look at references, I don’t even register that I’m looking at someone naked/partially clothed. It’s just lines and shapes and colors at that point. Might as well be an object.”
“Then someone will walk behind me and be like, ‘Why are you looking at underwear models?!’ and I genuinely don’t even realize. I’ve been so focused on trying to figure out shoulders that I didn’t even see boobs, which is probably what most people would notice first.” – MostlyLurking2000
“Someone keeps coughing, the model is freezing to death and cramping up, and I’m absolutely smeared in charcoal and crying because I somehow drew their torso all wrong and they’re gonna come LOOK AT IT IN A LITTLE WHILE. It’s the least sexy setting around.” – chinchillazilla54
“When they select the models, they do their best to get a variety of body shapes and interesting features. Practicing on wrinkles and fat rolls and unusual proportions is a lot more useful than drawing porn-standard bodies over and over. Nothing about this is meant to be sexual.” – blumoon138
“In our city, there was a famous elderly male art model who every art student in the region cut their teeth on. Everyone learned to draw from this old man doing bizarre yoga poses that he could seem to hold indefinitely. I assume he’s passed by now. RIP Peter.” – Margot_Chartreaux
“If an artist wants to be good at drawing people, they first have to learn how to draw them nude. Not to mention that this was a giant invasion of privacy, and the sister’s kids are the ones who should have been punished in this situation.”
“Not to mention that as a teenage male in the 80s, I was easily able to find porn magazines. I can’t imagine there’s any way at all to stop that from happening in this day and age. NTA.” – talanisentwo
“If anything, it’s a good lesson in non-sexual contexts and learning anatomy is so cool and also very hard. It’s his private drawings anyway. There is no need to punish, how ridiculous.”
“Imagine if this kid wanted to become a doctor. In two to three years’ time, one of the first things he’d be doing is looking at drawings of naked people in anatomy and physiology textbooks.”
“This kid is 15 anyway. I think by the time a kid hits puberty (early stages, like 10), it’s appropriate for them to see nude drawings to learn anatomy and understand their own bodies. I don’t believe in censorship of information.”
“Nudity isn’t necessarily sexual. Sister sounds like she is projecting her own issues. Apparently, she sees it as sexual, so everyone else must, too? She’s saying more about herself than OP’s son.” – _love_letter_
Others agreed and pointed out the larger issues were snooping and stealing.
“NTA. Nudity isn’t inherently sexual or pornographic.”
“I hope the kids were given a stern talking-to for stealing someone else’s stuff.” – offbrandbarbie
“Two issues to my mind: her kids snooping through his things, and her/kids shaming him for what they found.” – Guybrushwood
“I know kids are kids, but when you’re at someone else’s house, you watch them!”
“Both the snooping and the stealing were problems, but the stealing wouldn’t even BE a problem if the kids behaved themselves about snooping or if the parents were paying attention and stopped them from snooping.” – ichoosewaffles
“NTA. Punish your sister’s children for invading your son’s privacy and your sister for not supervising them.” – GardenGood2Grow
“They snitched because they thought they wouldn’t get in trouble and that their older cousin would get in trouble instead. It could be that they are just mean kids.”
“Like, they KNEW they wouldn’t get in trouble. The fact that they even thought about snooping around shows that their parents don’t enforce those sorts of boundaries. My mom would have been livid if I had done that.” – _bitwright
“NTA. Your sister is taking crazy pills. AND she shouldn’t be invading his privacy by going through his sketchbooks.”
“Drawing naked people is what every boy everywhere has done at least once. It’s not porn and as long as it is not an obsession, there is nothing wrong with it.”
“Searching through people’s stuff without their permission is very wrong, however. I would be having a word with her on that.” – Odd-Calligrapher9660
Some joked that they would have to give the sister a gag gift for the rest of eternity.
“Ahahaha, I would have to get her one of those Michelangelo’s David aprons or dishtowels or whatever for Christmas.” – TraceyWoo419
“It sounds like the sister also needs a Vitruvian Man poster for her wall.” – Sprzout
“I would just get a bunch of those super-miniature figurines of Michelangelo’s ‘David’ and hide one somewhere in her house every time I visited… for the foreseeable future.” – Darkmagosan
“I have a mug with multiple nude works of art on it (David, Venus, etc…) they are all ‘wearing’ something black to cover themselves.”
“The black is in a paint that goes clear when it gets hot. So on the shelf, everything is quite to this sister’s liking, but ooh boy, when she puts coffee in it, she will get a fine howdy doo, lol (laughing out loud).” – Salty-Fortune1271
“Seriously. In my family, behavior like this would lock her into a lifetime of themed gifts.”
“No lie, my stepdad is a political and religious lemming and has decided to boycott Target indefinitely. I don’t really care (he’s a grown man and can shop wherever he wants).”
“Except, my mom went with me once to Target and afterward mentioned she’d better transfer her purchase to another bag before heading home, or he’d start fussing. She’s a grown person and can decide if that’s a hill to die on or not, but since I don’t have to live with the man…”
“…ever since then, anytime I bring anything to their house, it’s always in a d**n Target bag. Every. Single. Time.”
“Mwahaha!” – Norazakix23
Reddit seemed to side with this supportive father backing up his son’s artistic talents.
We applaud him for pushing his son’s creativity and being so open to feedback.