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Obese Teen Claps Back After Skinny Friend Makes Rude Comment While Trying On Her Clothes

Portrait of a girl against a pink background who shouts or expresses emotions.

Being overweight can be difficult to manage.

People are often unkind.

That’s why the body positivity movement has been so monumental.

Finding self-love at any size has saved lives.

But weight, big or small, can be an uncomfortable issue to talk about.

Redditor No-Pangolin-5016 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for telling my skinny friend that she’s obese?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“Hi, my friend and I are both 17 F[emale] by the way.”

“I’m obese, nearly morbidly obese according to the internet.”

“I don’t really care about that stuff because I think self-love is more important, and I’m happy with my weight, but it’s kind of an important part.”

“My friend Maria is average, if not quite skinny.”

“She’s made fun of my weight before, but she always says it’s just a joke.”

“She constantly asks everyone in her friend group if she’s fat.”

“I understand being insecure but it’s genuinely, really excessive and it’s weekly while we’re eating lunch at this point.”

“She never eats her lunch and always throws it away, then points to mine and tells me that I’m eating so much and that even half of that would fill her up.”

“She’s said this daily for the past 3 or 4 months.”

“I don’t think she’s on a diet or anything either. She just makes weird comments like that a lot.”

“Today, she asked to try my jacket on because she was cold.”

“I thought she was actually cold but after she said, ‘Oh my god this is so huge on me … does this actually fit you.'”

“Obviously, I’m paraphrasing.”

“I don’t remember exactly, but my other friends started to laugh.”

“I told her that she does look fat, and she looks fatter than me.”

“And that my jacket fits her really well.”

“She got quiet and changed the subject, but tonight she messaged me and asked me why I would say that when I know she’s insecure.”

“I told her that I’m tired of her fishing for compliments and being rude to me because of my weight.”

“She said that I’m just jealous of her and she left me on seen.”

“I asked my parents for advice but they agreed with her and thought I was very rude, but I don’t know how else I would’ve made it stop.”

The OP was left to wonder:

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared EVERYONE involved WAS the A**hole.

“ESH, and why would you consider her your ‘friend?'”

“Obviously, she’s a giant AH towards you.”

“And it’s also nearly as obvious that she has some kind of eating disorder, and you just went and poked that sore spot.” ~ RevRagnarok

“I, a fat person, have an E[ating] D[isorder] that I can not get any help for because the behaviors are actively encouraged in people like us.”

“I was even told by a doctor that I couldn’t possibly have body dysmorphia because ‘overweight people are meant to hate themselves.'”

“I hate that everyone always assumes I’m a binge eater just because of my size when in actual fact I barely eat.”

“I’ll have like one small meal a day and a snack here and there.”

“I have thinner friends who eat 5x what I do.”

“I’ve been straight-up called a liar by dieticians and nurses etc.”

“It’s disgraceful how we’re treated.” ~ CXM21

“I had a couple of now former friends who were like this.”

“One thing that I hate is tediously repeated comments that are potentially insulting.”

“I have at least 6 ethnic groups in my background, so I’m not too tied up with any of them.”

“Likewise, I don’t practice my cradle religion.”

“These two disliked one or more of my ethnic groups and didn’t like my former religion.”

“One of them kept telling me that she didn’t like one group’s cooking, clothing, or art.”

“She didn’t appreciate my suggesting that in that case, she shouldn’t eat it, wear it, or look at it.”

“I guess that I was supposed to agree, or burst into tears.”

“I wouldn’t care what they think if they didn’t keep repeating the same things over and over, always laughing as if I can’t get angry if they laugh.”

“I’m not so much upset by what they say, some of which is true, but by their constant repetition, their biases toward their own ancestors, their use of stereotypes, and the fact that this behavior kept intensifying.”

“One kept complaining that my ancestors persecuted her ancestors, thus proving that hers were pure and noble.”

“I finally said that yes, unfortunately, it is true that my ancestors persecuted her ancestors, but of course, it is equally true (as she already knew)that her ancestors persecuted my ancestors, and the pair of them persecuted other religions. Neither one of them has clean hands.”

“I finally sent her an email, saying that I didn’t want to hear any more on religion or ethnicity.”

“Apparently putting it in writing got through to her, whereas saying orally that if she didn’t like my ancestors she could sit at another table made only a brief impression and she finally ghosted me.”

“Small loss.” ~ NobodyButMyShadow

“Same here. If they’re constantly nagging about my body in a negative light to make me feel worse, then they clearly don’t care about me.”

“So why should I care about them, even if they have an eating disorder and are projecting their insecurities on me?”

“It’s basically saying that since OP’s friend has an eating disorder.”

“OP still has to care about her feelings and make sure she doesn’t offend her (when she’s insulted,) even though their ‘friend’ is constantly putting them down.”

“Just because she has a disorder doesn’t mean she’s unable to be punished or deal with the consequences of her own actions.”

“Heck, OP technically has a health condition (obesity) and her friend made fun of it, why can’t she handle these harmful ‘jokes’ when it’s aimed at her?”

“Why is it bad all of a sudden?” ~ ReMarzable457

“I’ll probably get downvoted, but I think she had it coming.”

“This was a good lesson for her.”

“If she is insecure and knows what that feels like, why would she want to make you the target of the same feeling?”

“She sounds passive-aggressive and like a bad friend.”

“Why is it okay for her to call attention to your weight and make all these slick comments?”

“She earned that.” ~ Gnardashians

“A good lesson she’ll never learn from.”

“Her arrogance and ego will block any critical thought.”

“It is a fantastic lesson to OP – she doesn’t even care to respond.”

“She doesn’t see you as an equal.”

“You’re the ‘pun’ of her jokes – get better friends – and never tolerate remarks that are obviously intended to dismantle your confidence.” ~ MaddeninglyUnwise

“What about a doctor?”

“You shouldn’t feel ashamed, but it is objectively unhealthy, and you should absolutely care about it.”

“ESH for the mean catty hurtful comments, though.” ~ thewhiterosequeen

OP responded…

“I haven’t seen a doctor in a while, but hopefully soon.”

“My dad is trying to book it, but the transportation is really expensive for where we live 😭!”

“I know you’re right, and it is unhealthy, but I’ve also spent a lot of time stressing over my weight/dieting just to lose no weight, and it just makes me feel worse afterward.”

“So I’m just trying to like myself either way, I guess, or just accept my body.”

“I do care. Maybe I was brushing it off too much in this post because it wasn’t really my focus, but that’s my fault.”

Reddit continued…

“From what you’ve said, it sounds like she may have an eating disorder.”

“She’s constantly body-checking, obsessed with how much she eats, and eating a little bit of food causes her to feel full.”

“I understand your frustration with her because if she’s going to make ‘jokes’ about your body, she’s gotta be okay with it too.”

“That said, it sounds like she needs to see someone about her issues. NTA.” ~ myguitarplaysit

“ESH – It sounds like you’ve put up with a lot for far longer than you needed to.”

“It’s very understandable where your response came from, but it was still meeting meanness with meanness.”

“Your friend needed to be put in her place and made to understand that you don’t like being the butt of her jokes, but you also did dig in at the insecurities you know are driving this.” ~ Aestro17

“ESH. You two both have issues, and you bring out the worst in each other.”

“Stay away from each other.”

“You both could use professional counseling to work toward better health.”

“And your parents are negligent if they aren’t working with you.”

“People can die from obesity-related issues.”

“Start caring about ‘that stuff’ unless you want to end up disabled, diabetic, etc.”

“It matters. It matters very much to your quality of life.” ~ yellowsilverflower

“You don’t know how else to make it stop?”

“Tell her how it makes you feel.”

“Either way, doesn’t sound like you two should be friends.”

“She makes fun of your weight, and in retaliation, you made fun of hers.”

“That’s not right, no matter the reason. ESH.” ~ Puttor482

“ESH. Her for fat-shaming, and you for doing the same to her + the ‘Oh it doesn’t matter if I’m fat because I love myself and am happy.”

“You are an AH to yourself for not taking care of your health.”

“The petty high school drama is irrelevant when you are actively working your way towards a heart attack at 40.”

“You both have eating disorders, and you both need to be seeing a therapist.” ~ Its_Big_Fungus

“ESH. OP, none of you are ‘friends’ if this is how you treat each other all the time.”

“She shouldn’t have insulted you, but you also shouldn’t have insulted her.”

“You need to cut ties with these people.” ~ NotAFloorTank

Well, OP, this situation is messy. Reddit is feeling everybody’s pain.

It sounds like you both may benefit from some therapy.

It’s great that you love yourself as much as you do.

Hopefully, you and your friend can sort this out.