Beginning a journey as a new family is an exciting time. The image of a home with a yard and fence for children to play often comes to mind.
However, that is not everyone’s dream.
What if your partner wanted a more alternative lifestyle like living and raising children on a boat? One pregnant woman found that was exactly what her husband wanted to do and a clash began.
Redditor aitaliveonaboat turned to the “Am I the A**hole” subReddit for perspective on her divided housing dilemma.
She asked:
“AITA for refusing to live on a yacht?“
The original poster (OP) explained:
“Before we got married, my husband lived on a yacht. He had an apartment which he would use for dates/hookups, but the yacht was his home. He only stopped after we got engaged/moved in together.”
“My husband’s godfather has been hinting he’s going to give my husband a yacht as a gift for becoming a father for the first time. I have no problem with this even though I don’t really see the correlation. The issue is that my husband now keeps saying he prefers living on a yacht and thinks we should live on it after our baby is born.”
”He keeps insisting I would like it, but I used to stay with him while we were dating sometimes and although it was fun, I couldn’t see myself living on it long-term. We had a conversation about it a few days ago and he was insisting I should at least agree to try it.”
”I was tired and cranky so I told him to go live on it himself, and the baby and I would stay in our house. He got really upset with me and asked if I was trying to split up our family and said I was refusing to even try to compromise.”
”I’m only posting this because I confided in my friends and they told me that he was right, and I should at least try before I refuse. AITA?”
The OP asked Redditors to weigh in and rule:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors were united in their decision that OP was NTA.
“NTA. I would be uncomfortable raising a baby or toddler on a yacht. They don’t understand that they are mortal. I had my kids in swimming lessons starting as babies, but they didn’t know how to swim adequately for safety for years.”
”And yes, there are baby lifevests, but are you gonna keep a baby in a lifevest all day every day? There would definitely be chafing concerns and impacts on mobility when the child is learning and growing. I’d say you should try it out for compromise sake if it weren’t for the baby.”
”Honestly giving someone a yacht as a baby present is just so weird. I know rich people are different from me, but presents for becoming parents should be things that can be safely enjoyed with the baby.”~thumb_of_justice
”Ikr. This guy knows nothing about raising children. Imagine the isolated and unsafe life the kids will have to go through. Does this man think raising kids is peanuts? I bet he thought op will do everything and his life won’t change at all.”
”Otherwise he would have known a few things about raising children through research, books and what not and won’t be making such stupid requests. NTA but op needs to have a serious conversation with her partner.”~Icantcommit4
”NTA. You HAVE tried it. ‘I used to stay with him while we were dating sometimes and although it was fun, I couldn’t see myself living on it long-term.’”
“If you didn’t like it enough to do it long-term when it was just the two of you, you will HATE it when the situation includes a baby. Ask husband what is it about living on the yacht he yearns for so much that he isn’t getting living in the house.”
”Is it the rocking of the water? The sounds? The fresh air? And for how long does he want you to ‘try it’? A week? A month? A year? Once he has articulated what he misses about living on a yacht, you and he should be able to find a compromise.”
”Maybe it is spending a weekend or two each month on the boat. Maybe it is taking vacations on the boat. But you and your baby’s comfort are just as important as his wants.”~fatfarko69
“NTA – Baby on a yacht? No thank you! This isn’t something you can really compromise on, you either live there or you do not.”
”It is very much an alternative lifestyle and one you clearly did not want if you chose to move into an apartment rather then a boat when you got together. If you didn’t want to live on a boat then why on earth would adding a newborn make it more likely you would want to?”~VictoriaRachel
“NTA. He’s refusing to compromise at all. A compromise would be taking long vacations on the boat or something. Living on the boat full time is just him getting exactly what he wants.”~repthe732
“NTA. My in-laws lived full time on a yacht when we had our daughter so we did go and stay. I would say that when they are really small they at least stay where you put them. But climbing in and out of a yacht carrying a baby would not be easy – particularly if you have had a c-section.”
”When they get bigger it was even more stressful, as others have said, because they climb and get into everything. You can’t relax. Maybe think about some weekend sleepovers, but that would be my limit personally.”
“Having said that, I’ve seen some families living on yachts having an amazing outdoors lifestyle so it can be done. But only if BOTH parents are up for it.”~tishtashtosh43
“NTA. Living on a boat with a newborn baby is an unreasonable ask. I would actually even ask your obstetrician/pediatrician about how it could affect your baby’s inner ear development. I wonder if maybe your husband isn’t conflating his desire to live on a boat again with nostalgia about his past as a free, unfettered bachelor.”
”Not that he regrets marriage or family, but weird things can happen in the minds of first-time parents right about when the reality of their situation and their newfound responsibilities really hit them in the face.”~bananahammerredoux
Sounds like this mom-to-be has a serious, boat rocking, conversation ahead for her and her partner.