Some people love all kinds of animals, including the noctural ones that crawl and climb.
But some people have legitimate fears about these animals instead, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor xwing382 was the proud caretaker of three snakes that his father’s new girlfriend did not appreciate having around.
But when she demanded he rehome them because she was pregnant, the Original Poster (OP) felt torn about what he should do.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for not rehoming my snakes so my dad’s pregnant partner can move in?”
The OP had three pet snakes that he loved.
“I’m a 16-year-old male and have always loved snakes. My mom and her partner own over 20 reptiles, so I’ve been around them for as long as I can remember.”
“I live with my dad and currently own 2 adult female ball pythons and a baby corn snake that live in enclosures in our basement/family room.”
“They’re all very friendly and docile and love to be held.”
His father’s new girlfriend did not share in that love, however.
“My dad’s partner of 2 years is terrified of snakes and thinks they’re disgusting, though.”
“I’m not allowed to handle them or take them out of their enclosures when she’s here, because she’ll freak out.”
“She thinks it’s disgusting that we have frozen mice in our house, too.”
When she became pregnant, the girlfriend started making demands.
“My dad is expecting a baby with his partner, and she wants to move in before the baby’s born.”
“She’s insisting on my dad making me rehome my snakes first, because she thinks it’s dangerous to have them in the same house as a baby.”
“My dad and I have both tried educating her, but she won’t change her mind.”
The OP felt pressured to make a decision.
“She won’t compromise with my dad, and he’s tried compromising with me.”
“He suggested I keep them at my mom’s house, but my mom lives 9 hours away and I would only see them every few months.”
“It’s caused a lot of fighting between him and his partner, and she’s basically telling everyone that he’s choosing his son’s pets over her and their baby.”
“So, AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought this wasn’t a problem the OP really needed to worry about.
“Well, I agree that the babies and her fears are non of OP‘s concerns. Her fears aren‘t unreasonable though. They just should‘ve broken up before she got pregnant or they have to live separately till OP moves out to go to college.”
“However, OP ain’t the AH. NTA.” – creqmpufff
“Not using protection and choosing to carry out a pregnancy are choices they both made as adults. So either way it’s not OP’s problem.” – 101-25fixit
“Coming from a grown-a** woman who is absolutely terrified of snakes, you’re NTA.”
“As an adult, your dad’s partner should know that when you get into a relationship with a person with kids, you have to accept things as they are. You don’t get to start demanding changes and asking the kids to sacrifice and change their lives for your comfort.”
“It sounds like the snakes are not dangerous and that you and your family know how to handle them, so she’s gonna have to suck it up.” – Significant-Ad-9758
“NTA. You owned snakes when they got together, got serious, and got pregnant. You haven’t changed anything and are simply existing just the way you were when she joined your lives. I don’t see how you could be the AH. Sounds like this is your father’s problem.” – warrinerdot
“This is exactly what makes the GF the asshole for me: I just simply… wouldn’t be in this situation. And I don’t understand how girlfriend is in this situation either UNLESS she thought all along that she would be able to get rid of the snakes a some point.”
“I don’t like cats, rodents, or snakes; no fear just I don’t like them and don’t want to be around them. I wouldn’t date anyone who has those animals in their home because our lives are fundamentally incompatible.”
“This reeks of one of those controlling people who believes that they can shape and mold their partner into who they want to be.” – spacedinosaur1313131
Others thought the parents should have thought about this before getting pregnant.
“She’s pregnant, and there should have been some thought before she assumed she would win this argument. And pets can be furry, feathered, or scaled, but they’re still our non-human babies.” – Night_The_Dragon
“NTA. It seems like this was a really bad time for your dad and his gf to get pregnant. They should stay in separate houses until you turn 18.” – SweetPea-22
“If I found out that I was dating someone with pets that terrified me, I would be considering not dating them any more. Not keeping dating for a couple of years, getting pregnant, and then demanding that they change their life to suit me.” – RevKyriel
“NTA. I don’t think your dad is choosing your pets over her, he’s choosing YOU, which is how it should be. Since she’s moving into a home that she’s aware has snakes in it, she doesn’t get to dictate the rules. Stand your ground.” – Affectionate_Ice_658
“He’s not choosing his sons pets over his baby.. he’s choosing his son’s happiness over his new partner’s irrational demands.”
“I’m terrified of spiders, if I ended up with a man whose kids have pet spiders guess what, Id just have to suck it up because they were here first and are of no threat to me.”
“Oh NTA, of course.” – Megotchii
“She’s irrationally worried about the snakes being a danger to the baby, and finds frozen mice in the kitchen freezer gross.”
“Easy solution: She moves in, and OP’s room gets rearranged/decluttered/better storage/lofted bed so there is room for the snakes enclosures in his room. OPs door stays shut and baby/GF stay out.”
“They add a small freezer somewhere for mice.” – Meghanshadow
“NTA. As someone with a phobia of snakes (they are part of the ecosystem, people love them as pets, harmless ones are cute, but i cannot be near them or i freak out), I would not be making plans to move in with someone who has any in their house. I would not be contemplating a future with someone who has snakes in their house.”
“So your father is having a baby with someone he has not been honest with. And neither of them thought about you in this merging process.”
“It is a big deal to lose your pets. It is a big deal to have a baby with someone. It is a big deal to date a guy with a teenager.”
“Making the teenager get rid of their pets is not the way forward here. You offered an accommodation (no handling while she’s in the house), and that is not enough for her.” – EquivalentTwo1
A few were worried about the girlfriend setting a precedent for her and her child.
“This seems like she is just trying to set the precedent that she and her child come first.” – ironicf8
“She’s pulling the ‘you don’t love me enough’ type card. My guess is she thought she would ‘win,’ and they’d just get rid of the snakes, because she doesn’t like them and she’s pReGNanT!
“They’re in a separate room. They’re family pets. If she gave a f**k at all about OP, which she should if she’s gonna move in with OP’s dad, she would allow the compromise of keeping the snakes in the basement and only handling them when she’s not around and of course keeping them away from the baby.”
“If she doesn’t wanna live there, she can live elsewhere.” – Inside-Eye-3994
“I wonder if it’s the start of a plan to get rid of OP, either by sending OP somewhere with the snakes (Mom’s?), or make OP so unwelcome (in his own home) that he wants to move out.” – RevKyriel
“NAH. You are both valid in what you are feeling. To you the snakes are beloved pets. To her they are terrifying monsters.”
“No one can blame you for wanting to keep your pets or her for refusing to live in a house with something that terrifies her.”
“The problem is that your dad wants you both in the same house, and you can’t get mad at him for wanting to live with both his children. Until there was a baby on the way, the were both content to live in separate homes. But now she is pregnant.”
“Unfortunately for you, in the end my guess is baby will win over snakes.” – RedditDK2
“The baby SHOULD win over the snakes. It’s a human being that needs care 24/7 after it is born. The baby attaching to mom and dad is unfortunately for OP, more important than the snakes.”
“Also, what is OP going to do when he goes off to college? Take them with him? Dorms won’t allow that. Leave them at home and expect dad and stepmom to take care of them? They may end up at OP’s mom’s house anyways…” – throwaway1_2_0_2_1
While the subReddit ultimately felt that the OP had every right to have had his snakes, it wasn’t clear whether the snakes would be able to stay in the picture for long. Though his father and future stepmom should have talked about this more extensively before demanding he rehome his pets, many felt that the pregnancy and baby would eventually take precedence.