We’ve all been surprised to be told “no” over something in our lives.
Particularly if it was in response to something we were confident would be told “yes” to.
Of course, no matter how we may actually feel at this news, the mature thing to do is to accept the rejection gracefully and move on with our lives.
Unfortunately, not everyone is quite so willing to take “no” for an answer.
Redditor JustSomeUncleGuy was making something very special for his wife.
When the original poster (OP)’s niece got wind of what he was making, his brother asked him if she could have it instead.
The OP politely declined, offering what he thought was a more than reasonable alternative.
But the OP’s niece, brother, and most of his family, all couldn’t believe he could dare to say “no”.
Wondering if he was being inconsiderate to his niece, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not giving the “dollhouse” I built to my niece, but to my wife as a gift?”
The OP shared why a special gift he was making for his wife got him in trouble with the rest of his family:
“I (28 M[ale]) made my wife (28 F[emale]) a replica of a house that’s known to fans of a musician, but wouldn’t mean much to others.”
“It’s about 2 feet tall and wasn’t very complicated to build, but my wife had said a few times over last year that she thought it would be cool to have for little trinkets.”
“She’s like a crow with her trinkets, I love it.”
“She didn’t know I was making it for her, but I did sneakily involve her in its creation through having her make a couple TikToks when we were out together so I could get the colors right.”
“She has no idea, lol.”
“I was excited, so I showed a picture to my brother.”
“He told me it was cool, but didn’t get the purpose.”
“He showed it to my niece Ava (13 F) who knew what it was and said she wanted one too.”
“My brother asked if I would give it to Ava for her birthday.”
“I said no, it’s for my wife, but I could make one with Ava.”
“It would help teach her some basic woodworking skills which they don’t do in schools here anymore.”
“I’d like that.”
“Brother said if it was so easy then I could make a second one for my wife and just give this one to Ava since her bday is the end of the month.”
“Again I said no, this was done specifically for my wife.”
“He seemed to accept that but then came back to me and said ‘Isn’t it a little weird to make a dollhouse for an adult woman?’”
“I told him it’s not a dollhouse, just a fancy shelf.”
“He argued that makes it worse, because Ava would actually ‘play’ with it.”
“He must have gone to complain to mom about it (he is the younger brother) because mom called me to tell me that it was ‘stupid’ to give my wife a dollhouse.”
“I tried to explain that it’s not a dollhouse but she just kept saying ‘that’s stupid’.”
“This weekend I was at their house and Ava kept bringing up the house and laying it on thick with statements like ‘I’ve alway wanted one just like it’.”
“She kept asking why my wife wanted a dollhouse.”
“I said it’s not a dollhouse, but she kept asking why she needed a dollhouse.”
“I told my brother that he was encouraging his kid to be manipulative and I really didn’t like it, so I was going to leave.”
“He told me that I was dangling the house over her head like McDonald’s and teasing her and that it made me a bad uncle.”
“Being a good uncle is important to me and I do feel for the girl because she’s a big fan too.”
“I admit I have a blind spot for this because I don’t have kids and maybe I shouldn’t have shared the picture with my brother to begin with.”
“Yes, it WAS easy to make and I COULD make another quickly.
“Ava isn’t my brother’s biological daughter, there’s a long story involved that I didn’t want to add.”
“I still see her as my niece regardless.”
“Am I really the a**hole for not just giving it to her?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to give the house he was making for his wife to Ava.
Everyone agreed that Ava needed to learn that she couldn’t always get what she wanted, and were shocked that his brother not only enabled Ava’s behavior but sneered at the OP’s suggestion to make another house with Ava:
“‘My brother asked if I would give it to Ava for her birthday’.”
“Damn that’s assumptive, lol.”
“What an entitled ask.”
“‘Brother said if it was so easy then I could make a second one for my wife and just give this one to Ava since her bday is the end of the month’.”
“Ballsy ask demand. O_O.”
“‘this was done specifically for my wife’.”
“‘He seemed to accept that but then came back to me and said “Isn’t it a little weird to make a dollhouse for an adult woman?”'”
“Resorting to belittling and insulting comments about your wife when he doesn’t get his way.”
“‘He must have gone to complain to mom about it (he is the younger brother) because mom called me to tell me that it was ‘stupid’ to give my wife a dollhouse’.”
“Enlisting a flying monkey to amp up the pressure to get his way.”
“‘He told me that I was dangling the house over her head like McDonald’s and teasing her and that it made me a bad uncle’.”
“I’m not sure how you can’t see what an AH your brother is.”
“He’s manipulative, insulting and a terrible parent too, teaching his child to be just like himself.”
“I wouldn’t give them a single thing.”
“However, if you want to, offer to make one with your niece.”
“Your idea about using the project to teach woodshop is excellent!”
“You are a good uncle, you just won’t let your brother walk all over you and he doesn’t like that.”
“Tough t*tties, lol.”
“It’s important that you show them you have enough self respect to not allow them to take advantage of you.”
“You are NTA.”
“Your brother is a massive one.”- IamIrene
“I’m guessing the ‘dollhouse’ is a replica of the Lover House?”
“If it’s anything like I’m imagining or what I’ve seen online, it is more like a fancy storage display for her Taylor Swift memorabilia rather than a toy anyway.”
“NTA in either case, OP. It’s your creation that you get to gift to whoever you want.”-amoamareamaviamatus
“NTA, very clearly.”
“‘because Ava would actually “play” with it’.”
“Also I really doubt that Ava would use that house to play with her dolls in it.”
“She is 13.”
“At that age girls generally don’t play with dolls anymore.”
“I do feel for the girl because she’s a big fan too.”
“And that is the real reason why she wants the house.”
“She is the fan of the same musician as OP’s wife.”
“She is just using the dollhouse argument and that she wants to play with it to manipulate OP and because her father and grandmother use that argument, too.”- opelan
“Pay the Lover house trinket shelf tax please, I want to see it!”
“NTA by far.”- Current_Two_7395
“NTA.”
“Jeweller speaking here.”
“Think of it this way: If I made my partner a ring, pendant, etc.”
“Exactly to her specifications (especially cute because you’ve also kept it a secret!)”
“Then someone else comes along and says to you ‘Oh I love it and I want it and you must give it to me’.”
“‘And why would you give it to your partner?'”
“‘They won’t use it like I will!'”
“Quite frankly it doesn’t matter if they are family.”
“Family don’t end in blood boy.”
“They are just being selfish and manipulative a**holes.”
“F*ck ’em.”
“Give your wife the amazing gift you made for her and enjoy it with someone who genuinely values the time and effort you put into it rather than the people who demand it.”- UndyingCattoo
It’s surprising enough that the OP’s brother was bold enough to simply ask the OP to give the house to Ava when the OP made it clear that this was a special gift he was making for his wife.
Even more surprising, though, is that almost complete lack of emotion or excitement at the OP’s proposal to make a special house alongside Ava.
As that would have helped Ava learn that the most special gifts are the gifts that have meaning behind them.