Most people want to share their major achievements with the people they care about most.
Usually, those loved ones celebrate alongside and are genuinely happy about the accomplishments.
Usually… but sadly, not always.
A person on Reddit is shocked that they’re being called “selfish” for refusing to give up a scholarship they earned so their sibling can apply for it, so they turned to the “Am I The A**hole Here” (AITAH) subReddit to seek feedback from fellow Redditors.
Redditor judith_jd asked:
“AITA for refusing to share my life-changing opportunity?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“A few months ago, I applied for a prestigious international scholarship that could change my life.”
“The process was intense, with essays, interviews, and months of preparation.”
“I didn’t tell anyone except my partner because I didn’t want to jinx it.”
“Last week, I got the news: I was accepted!”
“This scholarship covers my tuition, living expenses, and even provides a travel stipend to study in my dream country for two years.”
“When I shared the news with my family, I expected congratulations, but instead, my younger sibling (who is in their final year of college) burst into tears.”
“They said they’ve been struggling with their own applications and begged me to decline the offer so they could try applying next year, as only one person from our country can win each cycle.”
“I was stunned.”
“This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance for me, and I’ve worked tirelessly for it.”
“But now, my parents are calling me selfish, saying I should let my sibling ‘have a shot at something big.'”
“Even my partner suggested I consider it, though they admitted it wasn’t fair to ask.”
“I stood my ground and refused to give up the scholarship.”
“My sibling hasn’t spoken to me since, and my parents are cold and distant.”
“I feel guilty but also angry, this is my achievement, not theirs.”
“So, AITA for not giving up my opportunity for my sibling?”
Redditors weighed in on the situation and decided OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA”
“Even if you gave up the opportunity, there’s no guarantee your sibling would win the scholarship.” – teresajs
“NTA but you might want to put some distance between yourself and them ASAP, for your sake” – MangoSaintJuice
“NTA. They have no business asking that of you.” – CaptainParticular797
“NTA”
“It’s yours!”
“No guarantee that your sibling will get it anyway.”
“Tell them 1 bird in hand is worth more than 100 flying.”
“This is a guaranteed yes for you.”
“You won’t give it up for a maybe next year for your sibling.”
“Everyone should be happy for you.”
“Make sure you accept it right away and put a lock on it.”
“Tell them to communicate only to you.”
“Hide all paperwork so your parents or sibling or anyone can sabotage or cancel this.”
“See how you can keep this safe.”
“Best wishes OP” – Mandaloriana_2022
“They can apply in 2 years.”
“There’s no guarantee they will even get it next year. NTA.” – Sufficient_Tune_2638
“Do not set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.”
“NTA Congratulations on your scholarship!”
“You earned it, and you deserve it. :)” – JJOkayOkay
“NTA. Congratulations.”
“Is your sibling the golden child?”
“Why on earth is your PARTNER suggesting you consider it?!”
“Keep your distance from anyone who doesn’t support you and wants to tear you down.”
“Just make sure that you have all your important belongings and papers in a SAFE AND SECURE SPACE.”
“I wouldn’t completely discount the possibility of sabotage.” – NagaApi8888
“NTA wow it’s incredibly selfish of her to cry and not be happy for you.”
“And your parents sided with her? Ouch!”
“Do not give up this golden opportunity.” – EdwinaArkie
“You are NTA.”
“Your entire family, on the other hand, is literally insane.” – BeachinLife1
“Take the scholarship and be glad they are going to be in a different country!”
“We don’t even know if sis is capable of getting the scholarship!!!”
“If she is, that doesn’t mean they will chose her next year.”
“This especially holds true if you, from the same family, turn down the scholarship after earning it!”
“Also, I’m confused. If this is sissy last year of college, why does she need a two-year scholarship starting next year?”
“Doesn’t matter, it won’t be available.”
“And there are many other scholarships out there that will be available to her.”
“I mean how will you feel giving it up if she doesn’t make it in next year?”
“For all we know, they already have a backup appointee from your country.”
“If you turn it down, they could just give it to them.”
“This would still leave your sis without!”
“And how would you feel giving it up for her, then learning she won’t have a chance to even apply?”
“This is a dream come true for you!”
“Your family is turning it into a nightmare.”
“When you have a nightmare, you get out of bed!”
“They are nightmares for you right now, so take the scholarship and get out of the country!”
“When your parents gripe, ask them to explain why they would be so happy foe your sister to have the scholarship, but are not happy for you to have it.”
“Ask them why they feel she is more deserving.”
“Ask them if your grades were not impressive enough or if they just plain don’t like you.”
“Guilt them into accepting this is yours if you have to!”
“You do deserve the scholarship.”
“You should be proud it was awarded to you.”
“And you should take full advantage of it! This is YOURS!”
“NTA” – fromhelley
“NTA, and I’d keep my distance from them.”
“Their reaction was unkind and reeked of jealousy.”
“They will not be supportive of you, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to undermine your success in some way.”
“If they can’t be happy for you, they can’t be family.”
“I’m 71, and my family, except for my youngest brother, has been a destructive force in my life, motivated by jealousy.”
“Don’t let them get a shot at you.”
“NTA, and don’t let them convince you otherwise.” – OutlandishnessFew981
“nta. you put in all the hard work and deserve this chance.”
“it’s tough for your sibling, but you can’t sacrifice your future.”
“They need to find their own path.”
“don’t feel guilty for your success.” – nixiejoyful
“NTAH-No way! Congratulations to YOU!!”
“You did the work, and you got this on your own.”
“There is a different plan for your sibling-this is yours!” – Wonderful-Boat-6373
“NTA. CONGRATULATIONS to you, go in joy.”
“Your younger sibling can apply in a few years after you’re done.”
“Don’t give up on a once in a lifetime event. You earned it, enjoy it.”
“Something tells me you already knew your family wouldn’t support you in this, but you did it anyway and good for you.” – Fearless-Warning-721
“NTA. Even if you declined it, there is no guarantee your sibling will be accepted.”
“You’ve earned it—Go!” – JTBlakeinNYC
“NTA. You won the scholarship and opportunity, NOT YOUR SISTER.”
“Please go to that foreign country.”
“Stay away from any relatives that do not support your dreams and ambitions.”
“Congratulations! I’m proud of you!!” – Prudent_Valuable603
“NTA. Your sibling is the golden child, and your parents are c*nts.”
“Stand your ground and make your escape” – EthnicallyAmbiguous0
“NTA at all. You worked hard and deserve it.”
“Family should be supportive and not toxic.”
“It’s okay for your younger siblings to be disappointed, but it is not okay to make you feel bad or guilty to work hard and accomplish something great.” – Horror-Tale-5689
“NTA. And it’s an enormous assumption on their part that you giving up YOUR opportunity means your sibling would automatically get it.”
“That’s incredibly far-fetched.”
“NTA, and as someone else suggested, keep your distance.”
“I would add remove any bank accounts and property from their reach.” – Littlebiggran
“Dump your partner for not having your back and even suggesting that you consider it.”
“Do not give up the opportunity. Leave the toxic family if you have to.”
“NTA” – Material_Cellist4133
“NTA. LOL they really think if you give it up, your sibling will get it?”
“Come on.” – Jerseygirl2468
“NTA.”
“But accept the offer ASAP, and let the scholarship organization know that you have family members who are opposed to you leaving and may try to sabotage your opportunity.” – gwie
“Do NOT give this up!”
“Even if there was some reason that anyone felt your sibling deserved it more (which is ridiculous), you have already been accepted.”
“If you give up this sure opportunity that you have, then what happens if your sibling doesn’t qualify next year?”
“Stand your ground, and seriously rethink your boundaries/relationship with anyone who tries to tell you otherwise.”
“Edit: NTA!!” – Asleep-Video-1140
“NTA!!! Please do not give up this opportunity so that your younger sibling MIGHT have a chance at it.”
“That is so absurd that I can’t help but think that there is obvious favoritism and bias involved.”
“Crazy. I would be so angry.” – GhostOfMost
According to fellow Redditors, OP should not feel bad about their position and should definitely not consider giving up something they worked so hard for.
Hopefully, their advice will help OP make the final decision and take the necessary next steps.