Settling into a new home and neighborhood can be daunting.
People want to at least try and make nice with the new neighbors.
But that doesn’t always go as planned.
Some folks have certain expectations that not everyone else agrees with.
Starting off a new chapter of life with warring neighbors is usually never pleasant.
Redditor Acceptable-Essay-490 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for refusing to pay a neighborhood kid for cutting my lawn when I didn’t ask him to?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (29 M[ale]) recently bought my first house.”
“I’m settling in, and I like the neighborhood. A few neighbors even came by to say hello.”
“They included a woman (43 F[eamle]) and her 13-year-old son.”
“Not long after, I was on my couch one afternoon and saw the son outside, mowing my front lawn.”
“I was confused since I’d never asked him to, and he’d never offered.”
“I went out and politely asked him why he was doing it – he said he did it for lots of neighbors, and quickly added they give him $5 for it.”
“I found it really weird, so I thanked him for the partial work he’d done before explaining that since I hadn’t asked or wanted him to do it, I wasn’t going to be paying him.”
“He said OK, and quietly left my lawn.”
“I figured that might be the end of it – just a kid trying to make some money, resolved with no harm done, end of story.”
“But the next day his mom arrived on my doorstep and angrily asked me why I hadn’t paid her son.”
“I basically repeated what I’d said to her son, but she wouldn’t accept it.”
“She just kept saying that it was a kind gesture and that he does it for all the other neighbors.”
“She also said $5 isn’t a lot of money, and I could have just given it to him.”
“I kept trying to explain that an agreement like that needs to be set up ahead of time; otherwise, it’s nothing more than a random demand for money.”
“But she basically tuned me out and ended up walking away as I was talking.”
“I was amazed the adult in the situation was handling it worse than the literal child was.”
‘I’m wondering how much longer this will go on for.”
“That was last week.”
“Every time I’ve seen her since, she’s stared daggers at me or made a show of crossing the street to avoid me.”
“I’m not instigating anything further – I really have no desire to speak to her – but I’m thinking she might try to send her poor kid back to collect the money, or even mow the lawn again.”
“I’ve vented about this to family and friends, and while most seemed to agree with me, some said I should have been grateful and paid the boy, and just told them from then on not to mow the lawn.”
“I can’t tell if I’ve been an a** here, or if my reaction to the whole thing was entirely justified.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA… I kinda feel bad for that kid, because it sounds like his mom is teaching him that he can get stuff for completely unsolicited help.” ~ applebum8807
“Probably why anyone has pushed back against OP and they’ve gotten away with it as well.”
“$5 for a mowed lawn is a heck of a deal in terms of paying someone to mow your lawn.”
“But you can’t just show up, do unsolicited work, and demand money.”
“That’s absurd.”
“The woman is clearly unhinged if she bothered to mention it to OP at all, is what it is.” ~ Wonderful-Impact5121
“OP, I bet if you talk to other neighbors you’ll find out a bunch of them never agreed to him cutting their grass.”
“The five bucks seems like a ‘go away ‘ payment, cause unless the lawn is tiny, it’s not enough to cover the cost the kid is putting out.”
‘Mom probably has him convinced he’s got a business going.” ~ Vegetable-Cod-2340
“NTA. This is the suburban version of those guys in NYC who would squeegee your windshield without asking and then shake you down for cash.” ~ Subject_Cranberry_19
“Do you happen to have a ring camera that caught your confrontation with her?”
“Minors can, of course, get in trouble for trespassing, but if you have a record of informing his mom that her child isn’t allowed on your property, she will be the one in trouble if she sends him back.”
“At this point, you have a neighbor who already does not respect the boundaries of other people’s property and now has a bone to pick with you.”
“Install some cameras. NTA.” ~ TogarSucks
“Yeah, this 100% sounds like mom’s ‘marketing strategy’ at work, and the kid just goes along with it.”
“I’d say the only way you would be the ahole is if you saw the kid mowing, sat there and said nothing while he *finished* mowing your lawn, then told him you weren’t paying for it (i.e. you let him continue the work without communicating that you wouldn’t be paying).”
“Since you had a conversation with him as soon as you knew about it and didn’t pitch a fit about uneven lines or an incomplete job… you’re NTA.” ~ Wynfleue
“NTA. You didn’t ask for the service, and it’s unfair to expect payment without an agreement.”
“The kid should have asked before mowing your lawn, and his mom’s reaction seems over the top.”
“You’re not obligated to pay for something you didn’t request, and it’s reasonable to set boundaries for future situations like this.”
‘His mom is the problem here, she gets to keep the money that’s why she is so pissed off.” ~ SushiiXhyvette
“Asking for money for services that weren’t requested, after the fact, is not a kind gesture.”
“It’s a trap. NTA.” ~ Tough_Crazy_8362
“NTA. There needs to be communication before the kid does this sort of thing.”
“And you stopped him once you noticed what was happening.”
“You didn’t wait for him to finish and then question him.”
“You weren’t trying to get free work.”
“What do the neighbors say/think?”
“Maybe try to talk with them and get their input; they’ve been there longer.”
“They all may be fed up with that family, also.” ~ GamesDontStop
“NTA. I totally get where you’re coming from.”
“It’s super weird for a kid to just mow your lawn without you asking.”
“Like, I wouldn’t want someone doing work for me and expecting money either.”
“It’s nice that he wants to help out neighbors, but that should definitely be something you discuss first.”
“It’s not like you hired him, so why should you pay?”
“The mom seems to be overreacting a bit, and honestly, she should be teaching her kid how to ask for permission first.”
“You did the right thing by standing your ground.”
“If she sends him back, just stick to your guns.”
“You’re not being rude; you’re just setting boundaries.”
“Good luck with the neighbor drama!” ~ MommyMistressQueen
“NTA – If he wants to make money, he needs to ask first, and make sure that you’re willing to hire him.”
“Just diving in and sticking his hand out afterward is a polite shakedown.”
“And of course, this doesn’t take into account the potential damage to your yard, because without talking to you first, he has no idea what you might have going on.”
“His mom is delulu.” ~ Mira_DFalco
“If you want to teach the kid something.”
“Call him over the next time you see him, hire him to mow the lawn once, and then pay him+tip.”
“Have a talk with him telling him he can’t just assume someone will pay him if he does the work, without some type of agreement.”
“Explain it to him so it becomes a learning experience, he’s a young teen trying to earn some extra cash.”
“I can get behind that as it shows some maturity, but sounds like I might need some guidance.”
“Although it’s not your job I guess.” ~ handyandy808
“NTA. She’s pissed because you saw through the grift.'”
“Dunno whether the kid invented this hustle or he’s being roped into it by his parent, but the way the parent reacted suggests that she’s the one who came up with it.” ~ RickRussellTX
“NTA, but you’re kind of a fool. You have every right to not want to pay someone else for your lawn, but for just $5 you could have gotten your lawn mowed one time and avoided all this unnecessary bulls**t.”
“You just needed to explain to the kid that you’ll pay him this time, but YOU want to mow your own lawn, so in the future, you do not require his services, but you’ll keep him in mind if that changes.”
“Then, you don’t have to deal with all the aggravation, might be on decent terms with your neighbors and get your lawn mowed.” ~ Fragrant_Spray
“NTA- I had a situation like this too before.”
“I came out to my car and some dude was washing my windows.”
“I was so confused and then he started asking for money.”
“I didn’t pay him and we got into an argument.”
“I remember feeling somewhat bad at the time, but thinking back on it now, I’m glad I didn’t.”
“You can’t just do things without being asked and expect people to just willingly pay you.”
“That’s not how things work.” ~ CAgirl17
“NTA. Is it a kind gesture or a kid making money?”
“The two can’t really exist together in this context.”
“If it was a kind gesture, the mom wouldn’t come and demand you pay.”
“If the kid was doing it for only the money, then he did the right thing and left when he realized he wouldn’t be paid.” ~ FluffyWalrusFTW
Reddit is here for you, OP.
In the first place, kids shouldn’t just be wandering onto stranger’s lawns.
Now $5 sounds like a good deal, but a good deal has to be made first.
You’re property, you’re rules.